EA’s ‘Star Wars’ game is now on the shelf after ‘Uncharted’ director Amy Hennig leaves company

uncharted ea star wars game amy hennig

EA! How badly can you continuously fuck up, BRO!? You had Amy Hennig, one of the industry’s preeminent directors helming your Star Wars game. Now you no longer got Amy Hennig, and you no longer got that Star Wars title. Ya’ll a company worthy of pairing up with the equally inept Lucasfilm.

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Former Ubisoft studio head Jade Raymond is opening an EA studio in Montreal

Jade Raymond

Jade Raymond has hopped from one enormous, bloated, annualizing company to another enormous, bloated, annualizing company to start her own studio. But uh, she’s also going to be overseeing a couple of my most anticipated games, on top of that. Mass Effect: Andromeda, and the as-of-now-not-revealed Star Wars game from Visceral.

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‘Mirror’s Edge 2’ dropping early 2016


I never played Mirror’s Edge. Maybe I played the demo? But I know it was an esoteric game with a cult following that didn’t sell extraordinarily well. So I’m stoked on principle that it is getting a sequel, and it has a tentative release date.

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‘Star Wars Battlefront’ Reveal Trailer: Battles From Endor To Jakku

EA rolling out Xbox One subscription. $5 a month for their “best” games.

Battlefield 4

How badly do you want to suckle upon the teat of Electronic Arts and their “best” games? Because for $5 a month, or $30 a year, you’re going to be able to have access to them through an upcoming subscription service. Would you? For me — it would depend on how soon you get new releases? Like, I don’t need to pay for your backlog, EA. Anything you’re publishing that’s worth playing I’m going to buy day one.

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PIGS IS PIGS: ELECTRONIC ARTS snags exclusive ‘STAR WARS’ video game rights.


I want to be bitter about the fact that the fat ass Leviathan that is Electronic Arts has snagged the Star Wars franchise. However, maybe this means that they’ll churn out some space-worthy adventures. Just imagine! It has potential. For example, if this results in KOTOR 3, I’m going to jizz all over my belly.

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‘DEAD SPACE 3’ features N7 ARMOR and microstransactions. Win some, lose some.

Dead Space 3 - microstransacting your ass.

At this point in the dance, continuing to complain about microtransactions in gaming is like me complaining about blood in my stool. It is part and parcel for the area. If I didn’t want blood in my stool, I’d stop soaking my cells in aluminium filings to keep away the Illuminati Mind Control. If I didn’t want to deal with microtransactions, I would stop gaming. Dead Space 3 is the latest culprit in this spreading phenomenon. But don’t cry! It has N7 armor for some of us. Wee!

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BioWare Montreal working on ‘MASS EFFECT’ game, and it runs on Frostbite.

My first response is “Ah, dog shit! Why isn’t BioWare proper working on the next Mass Effect game?” Then I recall the steaming shit they slithered down my throat at the conclusion of the first trilogy, and everything doesn’t seem so awful.

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‘DEAD SPACE 3’ adds fan-made ‘HUN-E1 BADGER’ to game’s weapons.

This is a fucking treat. Caleb Mendoza is the winner of some sort of Dead Space 3 contest, and the weapon he designed is going to be up in the game. It’s a cute little reference, Caleb. Though, not what I would have chosen. I would have designed some sort of head-splitting cock rocket that Isaac channeled through his suit’s internal energy pack and out of his hog. Directly out of his hog. It would have been magic.

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‘DRAGON AGE 3: INQUISITION’ is a thing, I hope it has more than one dungeon.

Dragon Age 3: Inquisition is coming, and it probably will have more than one dungeoin.

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