#June2013
THE ROCK may star in ‘TERMINATOR 5’? GIVE ME YES PLZ.
It is no secret that I am a fan of The Rock. Let the tattoo of his perfect porcelain smile on my left ass cheek remind you. Let the burn-in of his Greatest Hits DVD on my plasma screen remind you. So fuck yeah, I am totally in line with giving the dude a role in the fifth Terminator movie.
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‘FAST & FURIOUS 6’ FASTEST (NOS POWERED?) MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND EVER.
Fast & Furious 6 has suffered the glory of having the biggest Memorial Day weekend opening ever. Ever! Just think about that. Me? I’m fucking fine with it. In fact, I hope people read the news and begin uncontrollably vomiting all over themselves. I caught the film last night. Great fun. There was a time when the franchise took itself seriously, but with this latest installment it is clear they have lost their mind. Shitting on physics, bro-dude posturing everywhere. Gorgeous action sequences. Frankly, it’s everything I want in a popcorn flick. However, I may have lost my mind.
THE ROCK starring in HBO SERIES produced by Marky Mark. SO MUCH F**KING BRO.
There is so much goddamn bro going on in this post. The Rock starring in a fucking television show that is being produced by Marky Mark. So many protein shakes. So many reps on the bench.
THE ROCK + Brett Ratner = ‘HERCULES’ in 2014. Oh, it’ll be a disasterpiece.
I like me some Rock. Dwayne Johnson. Whatever. However, Brett Ratner smells like twice-baked farts. Homeboy makes Michael Bay look like a fucking auteur. I said it! Come and get me. Pretty much anything that guy is attached to, I’m going to look at with a heavy slathering of skepticism. So with those two teaming up for Hercules, the outcome can only be prepared for.
OFFICIAL ‘FAST & FURIOUS 6’ images arrive. Flex and oil yourself, bros.
Oil your fucking shit! Get your best homoerotic pose on! Prepare for the blood bath of misplaced semen and phallic objects that is the newest installment in the Fast & Furious franchise. We got ourselves a fast-paced (ha!) batch of new images for you to chomp upon. Heck yeah!
The Rock Is Going To Be In ‘G.I. Joe 2’. Fecaltainment Of The Year.
I loved the original G.I. Joe flick. I didn’t remember the cartoon so I wasn’t going in wanting to see the mythos treated with reverence. Or respect. I just wanted fun. I got fun. Ludicrous, fecaltaining fun. When a sequel was announced, I was totally there. Now that The Rock is in it, I am at blue-headed priapism excitement level.
