#August2012
‘DIABLO’ creator shit talks ‘DIABLO III’, sets off Internet firestorm.
It is good to see someone important blasting Diablo III for the turd-dongle that it turned out to be. The would-be bomb thrower is none other than one of the creators of the original Diablo, so the dude has some merit. Would you believe that it cheesed off the people behind Diablo III? I would!
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Press Start: Death, Duke and Shagging
Welcome back to Press Start: a column that used to be written by Caffeine Powered. Whilst he battles his crippling addiction to bath salts I’ve agreed to fill in, so without further ado; I present you with five individual, shrink-wrapped nuggets of gaming news all prepped and ready for your consumption.
‘DIABLO 3’ In Full RETINA DISPLAY GLORY Or; F**k You New MacBook Pro
Diablo 3 is going to be rocking out in retinal display on the new MacBook Pro. I don’t exactly know what the absurd resolution looks like, I just know I want it.
Korean Government Raids BLIZZARD Over ‘DIABLO 3’ Complaints. Amazing.
Man, fuck Error 37! It’s dog crap. Hogwash. I wish someone would totally do something about it. Like what? I don’t know, maybe raid Blizzard’s office or something.
‘DIABLO 3′ Patch Droppin’ Next Week; Please Don’t Nerf My Funky Monk
Diablo 3 had a bumpy launch, but it didn’t get me down that much. Even still, it’s nice to see that the Blizzard Fools are on their grind, trying to improve the Lord of Darkness.
3.5 Million People Bought ‘DIABLO 3’ In First 24 Hours. My Posse Rolls Deep.
There was a point when I wondered if Diablo 3 would be a success like its predecessor was, and it is announcements like this that make me feel silly for thinking so.
Monday Morning Commute: Cryogenic Sperm Tails of Thought Production
Do you understand the spatial confusion that comes with the Thaw? Here I am, freshly out of my Cryo-Pod and pressed into service. That’s right, those aghast. Rendar isn’t here this week. It’s your boy, Caff-Pow. I was orbiting a particularly interesting noodle along the orbit of Charlatan-IV where the distress beacon run. It spoke to me in words and phrases I couldn’t understand; I wasn’t familiar with.
Beep – too busy. real world responsibilities. grown-up stuff.
Beep – do you comply, brother?
Being a good space-bound brother, I obliged. I may not understand responsibilities or the real world, but I do understand the humble request from a man who descended out of the same Momma gut as me. Entering my finger-prints-semen-saliva-testicle-taint into the recognition software, I jettisoned my temporary virtuality. Good bye, Charlatan-IV. Hello MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE. The column where we share those distractions that keep us cutting while peering into the oblivion of the wash-work-wank-rinse cycle that will transport us from one edge of oblivion into the next.
‘DIABLO 3’ Open Thread: Broken Servers & Molested Hearts
So Diablo 3 has been out for over 24 hours, and for some of those hours it has even been playable! I figured it’d be done proper to get an open thread going where we can wax diabolical and the such. For the love of God please don’t use this venue for only bitching about Blizzard’s chunky vomit all down the side of their pants. Game impressions, rants, funny happenings, et cetera. Let’s get it going.
WATCH: Nerd Rager Francis Brings The ‘DIABLO 3’ Error 37 Rage, Error 3006 Rage & More
Internet-famous nerd rager Francis is pretty awesome, once you realize its an act. I sort of like it more that way, since sometimes it does seem contrived (forgiven because its a performance) and its more than anything a display of our cumulative Nerd ID. This time Francis takes to the Diablo 3 outages with his typical panache. I’m actually typing this bullshit in the dead of night…because I can’t fucking login.
Cosplay: Female Monk From ‘DIABLO 3’ Has Me Forgetting Vows. Get It?
Hell Yeah! Diablo 3 inches closer. Less than a fucking month. Can you believe that shit? Let’s celebrate its imminent arrival with some gorgeous female monk cosplay.
