Variant Covers: Smile! The DC Relaunch Is Here!

The DC relaunch is here. Hide your children. The DC relaunch is here. Jim Lee is ruining your favorite characters’ costumes. The DC relaunch is here. They’re going to treat the Universe’s continuity like a buffet line. Picking and choosing what to keep. The DC relaunch is here. Their talking heads are spitting double-speak corporate nonsense, starring in embarrassing videos. The DC relaunch is here, they’re taking away our handicapped heroine, dragging Wildstorm and Vertigo characters into their orbit. The DC relaunch is here, and they’re going same-day digital and stabbing your favorite crusty old comic book store in the heart with a solid gold stake.

The DC relaunch is here.

And I think it’s for the best.

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DC’s ‘New 52’ Getting Huge Initial Launch Orders. JLA #1 Past 200,000.

Initial orders and copies sold aren’t the same. Initial orders of enormous flagship titles aren’t indicative of how smaller titles of that publisher will sell, nor if the flagship will sustain the orders after the hype. Even with that in mind, I’m impressed at the initial orders for DC’s ‘New 52’ titles.

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Jim Lee Explains Superman’s Relationship Status In The DC Reboot. Hint: Hairy Palms.

Jim Lee is tacitly acknowledging that which we already know. Much like in  Moonlighting, The Office, and Marvel’s own Spider-Man, it’s the chase of the relationship with Lois Lane by Clark Kent that gets our krypto-rods shimmering. The pursuit is everything! He does so in recent comments, where he explains Superman’s single status in the DC relaunch.

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In The DC Relaunch, Superman Is A Single, Flightless Orphan. Frown!

It seems that DC is going all out in their shaking up of Superman’s mythos for the DC Relaunch. The Clark Kent we’re getting in September is going to be markedly different than the one we get right now. Kent is going to be an orphan twice-over who initially can’t fly, and isn’t tapping any Lane booty. Dude’s sufferin’.

Also interesting is that the Superman titles will be taking place in different points in time.

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DC: Our Relaunch Isn’t A Reboot, It’s A “New Beginning.’ Corporate Talk, Yes!

Following DC’s recent Retailer Roadshow,  senior vice president of sales Bob Wayne released a statement that was absolutely stunning in its semantics, double-speak and nonsense.

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DC Fans To Protest Reboot At Comic-Con. Solidarity!

Man, and I thought that I was a trifle bit incensed about the forthcoming DCnU. There’s going to be a full-fledged protest going down at Comic-Con this year. If you’re feelin’ the vibe and the commitment of these fellow fans, you can take part in the DC Original Protest Walk.

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Warren Ellis Talks About DC’s Reboot and Their Digital Strategy. Read This.

Warren Ellis is a bit of a touchstone of mine. When he writes I listen, and usually find myself raging at the mouth puppeting his sentiments because I find them so brilliant. Today Ellis posted a take on DC’s forthcoming reboot and their digital strategy on his blog.

It’s an excellent look at the inner-workings of the industry from a dude who has seen its grimy fucking guts.

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Variant Covers: Scalps, Stretchy Junk, and Futurists.

It’s that mid-summer moment where the comic books are twisting in my greasy palms, affronted by humidity and my general toxicity. Comic books! One of the great stalwarts of summers, the MEGA-EVENTS coming out weekly. Say what you will about the general quality of the EXPLODEY TIME STORY ARCS that permeate the shelves during the summer, I’ve come to need them just as a means of passing time. Like marking days off a calendar, they’re there. And they’re omnipresent. Keeping me company.

Like the drunk Uncle at the Christmas parties who you thinks annoys you, but then when he dies in a horror shit-show of cirrhosis and bloody vomiting, you miss him under the mistletoe. Trying to kiss your Mom, his first cousin.

I don’t know what I’m writing about anymore. This is Variant Covers, your weekly take on the tasty licks hitting comic books shelves.

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Is This The New Justice League Line-Up From The DCnU?

Oh DC Reboot! Will you ever finish giving me excuses to update a blog in the middle of a leisurely Sunday? Why, in September you will! Until then! Some artwork has dropped, and people are speculating it’s the new JLA line-up. Commence conjecture.

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