Crack open a pint of your preferred Esophageal Lubricant and stay awhile. For many that’s some bougie hard alcohol on the rocks. For others, unrefined and pinned to the Great Wall of Dementia, it’s seventy-three Diet Dews with a splash of Heart Palpitations. Whatever way the arrow of your taste bends, you’re welcome here. ‘Cause this is Weekend Open Bar.
We gotta get the ventilation system working here on the Space-Ship Omega. Okay. I know that. My phlegm-farts have been stinking up my cabin, floating through the grates, and now your milk steaks taste like ass soup. Apologies. In the meantime, let’s all indulge in some Monday Morning Commute. The one-stop shop for sharing all the easy, breezy, beautiful things you’re looking forward to this week. Just don’t list “my milk steak not tasting like your rectal leakage” as something to be anticipated. Please. I get it. Okay.
Ah yeah! Friday, mothertruckers! And that can only mean one thing. Weekend Open Bar! The only fucking blog post you need over the next couple of days. Stop in here and let fly with anything! Consider us the corner table in the the Debauched Pop Culture Tavern. Share what you’re up to this the next couple of days. Share pictures of your Wonder Woman thong. Share gifs. Share stoned ramblings about the Illuminati. Anything & everything goes.
Ahoy, denizens of the Space-Ship Omega. Whether you’re a regular spending time in your own cabin on the Ship, or merely a smuggler stopping by for a refueling and some cheap protoplasmic omnisexual alien butt-poon before leaving, you’re all wonderful in my book. This is Monday Morning Commute, the column where all of us wayward organic meat-sacks share the various things we’re looking forward to on a given week. Or thinking about. Or anticipating. Or dreading.
Slide on up to the shit-smeared cantina bar, and knock back some synthetic oat sodas. Imma be quick with my own list though. It’s the first day back at the Helium Mining Factory on Asteroid X and all the fumes got me dizzy. Rest assured you’ll find me lurking in the comments section though, pants-down, smile-applied.