Monday Morning Commute: Hide Grandpa’s Medicine

Want to know how to have a whole mess of fun?

Hide your grandpa’s medicine. Steal it from wherever he keeps it, and then put it somewhere else. Ideally, you’re goin’ to want to go at least two rooms over. After all, geriatric hips are rustier than robot dongs. And remember, you’re aimin’ to maximize your entertainment.

For example, if Grampy’s bottle of pills rests on the bathroom sink, filch that motherfucker and bring it to your kitchen. Once there, turn the bottle upside down and open it up over your dog’s dish. There’s no joy quite like that of besprinkling Alpo with Valtrex. Then, while you’re waiting for your parent’s parent to discover just how badly he’s been goofed, stand guard so as to make sure that Fido doesn’t start snackin’ away.

After all, the dog didn’t do anything.


Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! I’m going to show you some of the ways I’ll be keeping myself entertained during the hellish stretch known as the workweek. Then, you hit up the comments section and describe the weapons you’ll be wielding against the 40-Houred Beast of Burden. Yes, this is essentially electronic show-and-tell.

And no, you may not be excused to go to the nurse. Everyone must participate.

C’mon, let’s do this!

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Face of a Franchise: The Boy Wonder!

[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

For nearly seventy-two years, Robin has assisted Batman in reclaiming the streets of Gotham from the clutches of the criminal element. Along the way, Robin has served as the perfect complement, adding a sugar cube of idealism to the coffee cup of justice-via-vengeance that is Batman. Robin is firmly embedded into the fabric of comics, embodying for most what it means to be a supporting character.

There’s no denyin’ that Robin is the most celebrated superhero sidekick of all time.

However, what is up for debate is who to credit with the best performance as Robin. Let’s take a look at the two combatants!

From 1966 to 1968, the Caped Crusader protected the airwaves with his iconic ABC series. While most comics fans can probably pick Adam West out of a crowd, they may be hard pressed to identify Burt Ward, the man responsible for the televisional depiction of Robin. In reality, Ward is largely responsible for solidifying our modern conception of Robin as a figure of wonderful idiosyncrasy. Without Burt Ward, we might not think of Robin as dude who wears green underwear in public, proudly refers to himself as the Boy Wonder, and constantly yells out, “Holy [insert campy reference here], Batman!”

The other praise-worthy portrayal of Dick Grayson was crafted by Chris O’Donnell. Director Joel Schumacher was so enamored of O’Donnell that he cast him in both of his neon-powered, head-scratching Batman flicks. With two films’ worth of canvas, O’Donnell paints Robin as less of a whimsical teen acrobat and more of a callused twenty-something carny. Additionally, Chris O’Donnell was so courageous in his performance that he donned the first Robin suit to feature nipples. Yowzah!

We all know who Batman is.

But who is Robin – Burt Ward or Chris O’Donnell?

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