Man, Black Panther’s suit in Captain America: Civil War was awesome. Indubitably. But man, you know what? It was even more awesome than I realized. ‘Cause that motherfucker was straight CG. In every goddamn scene. Every goddamn scene! I had no idea, and I imagine not many other people did too.
Captain America: Civil War needed more Black Panther. It needed *way, way more* Black Panther. Okay, maybe I would have just preferred a Black Panther movie.
— Marvel Studios (@MarvelStudios) August 28, 2016
I missed this when it dropped at San Diego Comic-Con. Unless it didn’t drop *officially*? Anyhoo — here’s an official mockumentary that answers the most important question of Civil War: where the fuck was Thor?!
Rogers dropping that shield in Captain America: Civl War was more than symbolic, I guess. He was also dropping the mantle. For now, I suppose. I mean. Right? If dude ain’t slinging shield by the end of Avengers 4, let alone Infinity War, I will be shocked.
Well, you had one fucking job, Suicide Squad. One fucking job. A small job, a large job, I’m no sure. But a job none the less. Save my summer blockbuster experience. But reviews are coming in, and if they aren’t calling the film a raging dumpster fire (which, by the way, they are), they’re definitely condemning it as more raw-ass DCU detritus. Detritus for the fanboys to gorge themselves on, chins coated in calamitous slop, decrying the critics and their harsh reviewers. Detritus for the critics to sharpen their polemical swords upon, their polemical broadsides upon, swinging said weaponry at low-hanging fecaltainment.
So, I’m not going to watch this TV spot. Despite the fact that it is all over my goddamn newsfeed and pretty much already know its contents. But you may, if you wish!