#February2016

New ‘Batman v Superman’ Photo: Bruce Wayne and his Financial Building Smolder

New ‘Batman v Superman’ Photo: Wayne brooding over his decrepit manor

‘GOTHAM’ TV show casts YOUNG BRUCE WAYNE…and CATWOMAN. Becauseofcourse.

weep son weep

GOTHAM. The TV show. Not the perennially destroyed landscape of the movies, or video games. It’s casting people like wut. Like woah. Like wut-woah. (It’s been a long fucking day.) The latest castings are a big one, and an interesting but maybe obvious one. Can that even leave it as interesting? I don’t know, okay? Anyways. The show has picked up its Bruce Wayne. Annnddd…it’s Selina Kyle? Familiar names! Familiar characters! Much recognizable!

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FOX’S ‘GOTHAM’ TV show looking to cast YOUNG BRUCE WAYNE

Commissioner Gordon.

How do you do a television show about Gotham’s up and coming police commissioner guy without Batman? I mean I imagine it is certainly doable, but will people care? Fox doesn’t seem to be willing to roll the dice on that prospect. ‘Cause they’re already looking to cast a young, pants-pissing Master Bruce.

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The Dark Knight Rises – It Rises, It Rises, It’s Risen, It’s Here

[Caff note: spoilers abound in the post-article comments area. You were warned. As well, Omega-Level sends out love, thoughts and best-wishes to everyone grappling with the DKR midnight shooting tragedy in Colorado]

How is anything supposed to follow The Dark Knight?  Nolan’s trilogy ender will reap enormous numbers of attendees and box office dollars solely based on people wanting another TDK.  Another round of dark, violent and unpredictable chaos in Gotham.  Another villain as jarringly memorable as Ledger’s Joker.  And another story that transcends comic roots and becomes lovingly embraced by the mainstream as a ‘crime saga’.

This might hurt your appreciation of Rises as it nearly did mine.  In so many ways, this film feels like a direct sequel to Batman Begins.  It notably takes the few elements it needs from the trilogy’s second chapter – Harvey Dent’s ‘legacy’, Rachel’s death and Bruce’s need to pass the mantle on – and forgets about the others, rejoining the stream Begins established seven years ago.

It’s awesome that the film feels like a much more appropriate bookend to Nolan’s trilogy in that regard.  My fear was that the runaway success and rampant permeation of the Joker and TDK into popular culture would mean that everything about Rises would follow from, and be influenced by TDK, and only TDK.  Not so.  Not so at all.  I’m definitely still a little dizzy off the high of the midnight venture to see this, and I’m sure I missed many more vital connections to TDK, so take his all as a sleep-deprived first gut reaction.

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Monday Morning Commute: spacetime fabric softener

Let me tell you a story that my superiors at the Time Guild wouldn’t want you to know.

A couple of days ago, I decided that I wanted to travel to the year 195,000 BCE. Since it was the weekend, I had to use my personal time-machine, which I actually prefer to the stodgy contraption they allot me at the office. However, without the Guild’s temporal disinhibitor-ray, it was up to me to craft a suitable concoction. So after filling my gut with three liters of Pepsi Max, taking a shot of bourbon, and huffing paint thinner for the better part of an hour, I stumbled into my broom closet and passed out.

There you have it – my secret recipe for spacetime fabric softener.

Anyways, when I came to I was in the dense jungles of prehistory. Looking skyward, I saw a pterodactyl soaring majestically. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I looked to the ocean just in time to catch a glance of a megalodon snapping a leviathan in half before submerging once again. And on the path before me, two cavemen bros riding their steeds, a saber-toothed tiger and a mastodon, respectively.

The caveman on the saber-toothed tiger was the first to see me, and he quickly pointed me out to his buddy. “Daniel, check it out! It’s another one of those dudes from Beyond the Wheel.” He waved to me invitingly, “C’mon over, man!”

I was nervous, but I obliged.

The other caveman hopped off his mastodon and shook my hand. “Hey there! My name’s Daniel and this is my friend Hollis. Who might you be, Beyonder?”

“Pleasure to meet you, Daniel and Hollis. My name is Rendar Frankenstein and I’m from the year 2012. Well, actually, I’m originally from 1986 but I’ve caught up to 2012, and I guess that’s when I’m not shifting all over. I’ve been to a lot of points in the 20th century, and hell, I’ve even gone back Plato’s cave and the Garden of Eden and beyond that. You guys ever see 2001?”

Blank stares.

I laughed. “My bad! Anyways, what’re ya’ll up to?”

With a pat on my back, Hollis clued me in. “We’re actually about to meet back up with the tribe and raid a T-Rex nest. With those things on your feet,” he pointed to my hi-tops, “you could really help us out. You want in?”

Long story short – dinosaurs were murdered, the caveman tribe was victorious, and I got to start off today by having a prehistoric omelet.

Just don’t tell my superiors at the Time Guild. I need this job, and they’re lookin’ for a reason to can me.

–-

Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! I’m going to list off the various ways I’ll be salvaging my (dwindling) sanity during the workweek. It’s then your duty to hit up the comments section and share your own recipe for mental-refuge. C’mon, ain’t this the whole point of an Internet community?

Let’s stab this dino in the heart with a fuckin’ bone-shard dagger!

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Video: Batman Screams At Strangers In Toronto. Wayne Needs Help.

Some dude dressed as Batman skulked around Toronto busting out requisite Batman-isms like “Where are they?!” both amusing and scaring the shit out of passersby. It’s fucking awesome. Also worth noting: if this site ever becomes a viable life option (it won’t), expect me doing this all the fucking time.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Batman, Inc. – Gotham Crooks Weep.

The most pressing comics-issue on my mind as of late has been What’re they going to do with Bruce Wayne when he returns? Fortunately, my fears that Grayson would have to return to his gig as Nightwing have been assuaged. Apparently, Bruce isn’t going to reclaim the cowl for himself, but share it with his former ward.

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