It’s no surprise that most of my favoured games this year are download-only: games free of the constraints of large publishing deals and the costs of physical media. I like those physical artifacts as much as the next self-respecting hoarder, but when it comes to gaming and the creativity that I’ve seen flourish within the digital marketplace, it seems all the more difficult to pine for the past. The future of gaming is increasingly digital, independent and passionate: a fact well-displayed by some of the better releases this year. As Bobby Kotick plots to overthrow Steam, kill Gabe Newell and eat his heart to gain his strength, let us celebrate the games of 2012.

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Press Start II: Championship Edition.

Some weeks I find myself gazing in despair at my computer screen: desperately hoping that I’ll find enough interesting stories to write Press Start. Some weeks I fail and I resign myself to self-abuse and comfort eating. Not this week, though. This week, being another full of shitty non-news, I thought I’d present you with an alternative.

So here it is: Press Start II:Championship Edition.

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Press Start: BioWare Eats A League Of Fart Cup Cakes

Welcome to Press Start!, the weekly column where we blab about the happenings in the world of gaming in the past seven days. It’s done-up as a list, ‘cause motherfuckers love lists. Audience participation is encouraged, so if you see something absent from the list let’s get some dialogue going in the comments section. However as you make your way to the microphone be mindful of the urine-and-tacks filled balloons hanging above. They will punish the spiteful.

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‘ASSASSIN’S CREED 3’ Creative Director: Your Desired Locales Are Dumb

You have to hand it to  Alex Hutchinson, creative director for Assassin’s Creed 3. Dude lobs bombs at the internet and then doesn’t really back away from them. There’s a certain appreciable quality to the stupidity he’s displayed lately.

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‘ASSASSIN’S CREED 3’ Pre-Orders Setting Records. The Groan Of The Marketing Machine

The marketing machine for Assassin’s Creed 3  is vomiting out press release, commercial, and info at obscene rates. Ubisoft is shoving it down our gullets and gleefully clapping as it falls out our ass, half-chewed. All of this nonsense is paying dividends for the swine.

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‘Assassin’s Creed 3’ Dropping October 30. Slice Of Fun. Slice! Ha!

I haven’t played the last two  Assassin’s Creed games. Why? ‘Cause they so enormous and goddamn addictive I’m pretty sure they exist to ruin my life. Still, I’m excited for this game. That I hope I never play.

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