‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ TV series will be a sequel to ‘AVENGERS.’ Doi or something.
Fury, that wily bastard. It seems that Agent Coulson totally lives. When it was announced he was returning for the SHIELD television series, peoples of the Netterverse speculated he could do so via flashbacks. Not so. Not so!
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‘JURASSIC PARK 4’ coming in 2014. You stoked?
Are you one of those people who wants more Jurassic Park? One classic movie, and two shitty sequels wasn’t enough for you? Buckle up.
Watch: WILL FERRELL and RYAN GOSLING are ‘KNIFE GUYS.’ Infomercial ++
James Kimmel switched to an earlier time this week. Fair enough. The only problem was that Will Ferrell and Ryan Gosling had rented out the same studio for their knife-selling informercial. As you may expect, things get zany.
New cover for ‘1984’ is aesthetics meeting wit.
I already own a copy (copies?) of 1984, but Penguin’s new cover may have me double (triple?) dipping.
OSCAR NOMINATIONS 2013: Everything sucks and your favorite movie does too.
Every once in a while, Eddie Pluto will send me a message with something like, “Oh hey did you see Story X?” and immediately I think “No, but you should really help an overworked brother out and post it on OL.” He then tells me the really interesting story, and I agree it’s pretty awesome. Then he’s like, “Yeah, you should post it on OL.” The most recent case of this is with the Oscar nominations. I was going to be strong, telling myself that I didn’t really care. Then I saw the goddamn nominations for best director. The list sucks, but Eddie Pluto’s boy was on it. Steven Spielberg and his dumb movie Lincoln. Clearly, clearly, clearly the only reason Ed didn’t post it himself was because he had some sort of midnight vigil. Lighting some candles underneath his Jaws poster, rubbing himself. It’s cool, dude.
Here’s the dumb list. Fuck everyone for no Tarantino and Anderson. What do you think? Let me know.
Court ruling finds ‘SUPERMAN’ back in Warner Bros. and DC Comics’ greasy paws.
Fuck Warner Bros! As of right now, I am publicly rescinding the pitch I sent to them. You know, the pitch about the bi-polar kid so hopped up on caffeine he literally pierces time and space with one frothy piss. Once he clambers into the other dimension, he finds a pet unicorn who he falls in love with. After a prolonged courting process, they make love. The kid dies almost immediately. I rescind all of this, because Warner Bros. will just make like a zillion bucks off it and I’ll get nothing. Nothing!
‘CYBERPUNK 2077’ TEASER TRAILER: That gorgeous Dystopian rot.
Here be a teaser trailer for the upcoming game Cyberpunk 2077. Nothing much in the form of in-game content. Just some gorgeous CGI, that will whisk you away to a world of pantless lady cyborgs and machine gun fire.
ANONYMOUS wants DDoS attacks recognized as official protest. Good luck.
This is a bit of a stretch. Anonymous wants DDoS attacks to be officially recognized by the White House as an official form of protest. While I generally enjoy the Group, I don’t see this happening. I mean, well, I guess that is a “duh” statement. Moving on.
OL Store: Celebrate the Post-Apocalypse with these gnarly t-shirts.
Hello friends! The White Guy Interpretation of the Mayan Apocalypse has passed. Christmas is over. Your wallet is bleeding all over your crotch, and no matter how many styptic pencils you apply nothing avails. Give into your vaporized bank account and snag one of our new t-shirts. You know you want to. You don’t know? Well shit, do it for me. I have gauze on my groin, and I could use the financial help. Hit the jump to check them out, then if you’re inclined buy them in the OL Store.
