‘LOOPER’ DIRECTOR Rian Johnson working on CYBERPUNK script. GOD DAMN YES.
Oh sweet baby Jesus, Rian Johnson is working on a cyberpunk script. This douchebag (hi!) and cyberpunk go together like latex bondage porn and autoerotic asphyxiation. I am literally hardened at every point on my body where blood can flow to just thinking about this. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
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Dark Horse adapting insane FIRST ‘STAR WARS’ script. Pure Madness.
Madness strikes! Dark Horse is adapting the first script for Uncle George’s Star Wars. The entire enterprise is the result of hard drugs, lizard fetishes, and terrible plots. I cannot wait to buy this.
THIS WEEK on Game of Thrones: “Valar Dohaeris”
Welcome back to one of the most exciting and visually-astounding shows on television. The third season of Game of Thrones, based (mostly) on Martin’s third novel in the Song of Ice and Fire fantasy series, A Storm of Swords, began last night on HBO.
The cinematographers on the show have a lot of fun with framing, shot direction and imagery; why shouldn’t we as well? The film student in me from a decade ago still likes to assert itself, and Thrones is a show worth recapping through its powerful imagery. There are enough recaps on the net doing blow-by-blows, so hopefully, we can dig a little deeper here and tackle things from a different angle.
Let’s do it.
Cosplay: LADY ASH is your army of sexiness. Slice my throat for that title.
I’m sorry that I continually puke up horrible titles. Do you know how many I’ve written since OL began? Literally thousands. All of it has come together to coalesce into an unrelenting spike in my proverbial eye. The jarring white-hot lightning pain of banality is only momentarily soothed when I produce a pun so bad, so very bad, that I laugh at the horror.
‘THIS IS THE END’ April Fools’ Trailer: ‘Pineapple Express Part Deux’
April Fool’s Day fucking sucks. Yeah, Google. You’re brilliant. Even more brilliant is Random Guy X on your Facebook feed. However, the douchebags behind This Is The End have produced something for the day that isn’t completely loathsome. It’s a new trailer for the flick, riffing on the idea of a sequel to We Get It Rogen, You Like Weed. Why do I float the pass? ‘Cause it’s actually promoting a real product and shit. Am I being arbitrary? Probably.
‘FAR CRY 3: BLOOD DRAGON’ is the 80’s SCI-FI METAL VOMIT you need.
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon is everything a science-fiction heavy metal asshole like myself wants in life. It appears to be all of the Far Cry 3 that blew my asshole out, wrapped around a delicious sci-fi 1980s motif. If this is some sort of April Fool’s joke, someone is getting punched right in the fucking neck. We’re talking crushed something-suches in their spinal column and shit.
Monday Morning Commute: DRINK DEEP THE ENNUI.
Remember how last week I was all excited for life? This week is the glorious inversion of such a feeling. A viscous ladling of ennui is rattling around my belly, daring me to frown. There isn’t so much a reason for me to be sad, rather I’m just like “oh hey, I exist.” Eh, what can you do. Some weeks are more thrilling than others. So I turn to you, dare readers, in this newest of Monday Morning Commutes. Tell me what you’re enjoying this week. Inspire me. I beseech thee. And thee. And thee.
Hit the jump for my tepid chocies for the next seven days.
JEFF LEMIRE’S new comic ‘TRILLIUM’ gets a release date. Sweet! (Tooth?)
Glory, glory, glory unto the highest! Actually, that shit may have been more germane yesterday. Anyhoo, we should be thankful to something. Why? We should give thanks and praise because Jeff Lemire’s next mini-series finally has a release date. Fuck yeah.
WORLD-FAMOUS ‘BLANKA BOYZ’ Teaser Trailer: Prepare your mind-anus.
Every once in a while, I stumble across a snippet of madness that speaks to the deep psychological chasms within me. The most latest find comes courtesy of our own Faux Bot. Behold the Blanka Boyz teaser trailer. Shrouded in mystery with its actual conceit a secret, I know not what this feature program-YouTube hallucination shall ultimately sport. What is clear to me however, is that whatever shall be birthed onto the slithering pipes of the Tubes shall rearrange our carnal knowledge (you don’t have it?) of the Faux forever. The Blanka Boyz are coming, and none of us can stop ourselves from getting wet.
Opinions Vary: You’re Special
You’re special. Doesn’t that feel good to hear? There is only one you in the whole, wide world. The feeling of being special is an innate function of the human psyche. Of course it comes in a million different shapes and forms, but our primal need to feel special drives much of the world as we know it. Today we are going to examine this phenomenon through my jaded little world-view, and see where it takes us. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure where this is going to go. But this is happening. Now.
