‘OLDBOY’ RED-BAND TRAILER: Beards & Beatdowns & Blood
The red-band trailer for Spike Lee’s remake of Oldboy has dropped, and Jesus Fucking Christ! It looks good. I would not have expected to find myself sweating the remake of a flick I loved, but here I am. Surprises every day, c’est la vie. Right? What do you folks think of this Western remixed offering?
Hit the jump to check it out.
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FOX to reveal ‘X-FORCE’ MOVIE PLANS at COMIC-CON. ALL POUCHES EVERYTHING.
Didn’t see this one coming. Of course, I don’t see many things coming. It’s difficult to divine the future from my dungeon. All I see are but slithers of light through the blinds. Gentle light, illuminating my bedsores (barely) and meat-shrine to Jennifer Lawrence (barely).
Report: Netflix in talks for ‘ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT’ SEASON 5
There may be more Arrested Development coming down the pipes, folks. And even to someone like me who was lukewarm (but still amused) by the fourth season gets a little tingle in his taint-hole thinking about another season.
‘GEARS OF WAR’ PRODUCER leaves company to rock out on ‘MASS EFFECT 4.’
This news dropped last week, but I didn’t cover it. I was probably busy screaming at teenagers to “read their fucking book” and gagging myself with bananas behind the local 7-Eleven. Shut up, it’s therapeutic. Anyways, the senior producer on Gears of War: Judgment has departed Those Epic People to glom onto Mass Effect 4.
HUBBLE FINDS BLUE-PLANET that RAINS GLASS. Sounds rough. Count me out.
Here is a hell of a fucking find. The Hubble Telescope has uncovered a nice blue planet! We love Blue Planets, right?! Slow your roll, holmes. What if I told you that this planet also had 4,500 mile-per-hour winds? And rained glass? Yeah, I’m canceling my flight too.
‘AGENT CARTER’ SHORT FILM gets POSTER & IMAGES.
Whoop! Here is the official poster and some images promoting the Agent Carter short film that’ll be coupled with Iron Lad 3 on Blu-DVD or whatever. I’m digging them. Especially the retro poster. It’ll be nice to see what Agent Carter is up to, while Steve is straight chilling as a fucking popsicle. I mean. Life goes on and shit. Can’t wait around hoping the dummy who plunged his plane into the Artic dethaws to let another group of super-choads. There are bad guys. Right?
Hit the jump to check out the new promos.
Jamie Foxx’s ELECTRO revealed in newest issue of EW. Looks sort of cornball.
I should preface my unfair judgment of Jamie Foxx as Electro with that preface alone. Also, I should probably clarify that I don’t particularly give a fuck about Electro. Like, at all. One time he was fresh out of prison signing autographs outside of my local 7-Eleven and I didn’t even give a fuck. He went to talk to me, perhaps even a jovial “hello.” I wouldn’t know, I didn’t listen. Just raised my hand, hitting him with an “eh, eh.” He seemed pissed. Whatever. Fuck him.
But uh, hit the jump to check him out.
‘RATCHET & CLANK: INTO THE NEXUS’ IS REAL; GIVING ME AROUSAL TIME.
Well, God be good! After Insomniac Games dropped that Fuze? Fuse? Fuzzy? with its mature multiplayer nonsense, I had feared the company and I had parted ways. Well, it looks like them fuckers have won me back. With an an accidental early reveal of a new Ratchet game.
NASA: Our SOLAR SYSTEM has a friggin’ TAIL.
I say goddamn! Now our solar system is yet another entity I’m in love with that has a tail. Them fucking tails are so seductive. Like, great for balancing. And sticking into input units and shit. Wait — it isn’t a literal tail?
