…to be fair, anything involving the Coen Brothers has me ending my statement with “fuck yes.” But still, this is exciting to me. The Brothers Coen are planning an existential flick (do they tackle any other kind?) set in Ancient Rome.

Wut!

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Here’s a trailer for the TV adaptation of Del Toro and Hogan’s vampire novel, The Strain. Did anyone ’round these parts check out the novel? ‘Cause this teaser is pretty sweet.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Mark Rein of Epic is not down with the concept of second screen tablet gaming. I’m going to level with you, I ain’t either. I’ve never been a fan of handhelds, and I don’t I’ll ever be interested in playing some gorgeous game within the confines of my iPad.

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Steam broke records like a motherfucker over Thanksgiving weekend. 7 million concurrent users. Gobbling up fucking outrageous deals, enjoying the freedom of their own personal computing devices. No console wars. No bullshit. I want to be there! I would be there. If I wasn’t a luddite who suffered from anxiety based on performance issues and changes in my (digital) environment (in so many aspects of my life). Even without me there though man, it seems the party is fucking hopping.

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Did you need anymore proof that Darth Vader has been beaten into the ground? Stripped of his fear-inducing presence by constant whoring out to various promotions? Well, if you did — here it is. Star Wars has gotten itself an Instagram account, and the first official picture is that of Vader taking a selfie.

Hit the jump to bask in the suck.

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China’s on the moon! Or, their lunar rover shall be soon enough. The humanist in me is all like “fuck yeah, humanity’s back on the moon!” The jingoist with American pride is all, “god dammit, when are we going back?!”

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Wee! It’s Spider-Man swinging around and shit! You haven’t seen that for like…four movies, have you? You have!?! Hey, you ungrateful prick. Who cares. Embrace this teaser trailer. It features nondescript aforementioned web swinging! It features derivative skyscapes!

It’s completely unremarkable!

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If we didn’t perform this action already, it’s time we knelt down at the idea that we’re in a William Gibson novel and worshipped the concept. Amazon is aiming to bring thirty-minute deliveries to our impatient, consumerist asses. How are they going to pull off such a feat, you ask? Drones. Fucking drones.

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Holy smokes.

It’s been a long goddamn while, but I’ve finally managed to find my way back to Spaceship OL. What’s been keepin’ me? Why’s Caff-Pow been forced to man the wheel without my navigational assistance? Well, we were pushing the `ole Nerd-Bird through some specially turbulent space-waters and I went to check on the chimp cages. In the process, I fell overboard.

Yes, I’d been drinkin’.

Anyways, I ended up getting sucked into an Ennui Vortex and was propelled beyond my control through some of the vilest scenarios of my entire existence. There were Responsibility Phantoms and Work Monsters and Accountability Ghouls. Hell, at one point I floated through a strait that saw the Stress-Scylla on one side and the Overtime-Charybdis on the other.

It was terrible!

But lo! and behold! I survived! Here I am! The one and only Rendar Frankenstein, hack-writer extraordinaire, in the digital-flesh! And you’d better believe I’m here for some haphazard word-slingin’! So let’s shuffle off the stains of yesterday and strap on our immortal foils! After all, this is the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, the spot for sharing ideas about actualizing spiritual potential! How do we survive the onslaught of everyday malaise?

First, I’m goin’ to run you through some of the keys I’m using to unlock my mind. Then, you hit up the comments section and share the strategies you’ll be using to break open your idea-doors!

C’mon!

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Get it? ‘Cause it’s called NGC 1999. So like, it’s partying. Like that Prince song. Ha! Hahaha! Oh whatever.

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