Astronomers drop image of the “SERIAL KILLER GALAXY.”
Behold! Ph33r! (Leet speak is coming back, I promise.) Tremble in terror as you gaze upon the Serial Killer Galaxy. Astronomers have dropped this sexy image of the galaxy that gives no fucks about killing other galaxies.
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‘AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2’ TV Spot: Chimney Cleaning Is Dangerous
With Captain White Guy: White Guys Fight Over The World 2 dropping today, Sony is eager to remind the comic book fandom they have their own super-powered white dude coming to save the day this summer. Droppin’ a fucking extended TV spot for the Amazing Spider-Man 2. It’s aiight. I’m ready! Ready to dig into this flick.
‘OPRHAN BLACK’ Season 2 Trailer: Many Clones, Many Problems
Like god knows how many clones running around in Orphan Black, and they’re all suffering shit lives. Can’t wait to see said shit lives continue! Plus! Fucking Plus! Is that Doral from BSG running around? Fuck yes.
March Comics Sales: IMAGE continues to grow; everybody loves The Bat-Man
Grow, Image! Grow! Swell up, and strike at the heart of the Mighty Two. Or at least keep pumping out all the creator-owned comic books that get my geek-lit-sequential-art-nipples hard.
5 YEAR-OLD totally exposes gnarly XBOX LIVE SECURITY FLAW
Oh fuck! Oh shit! We got ourselves another Zero Cool on our hands. A five year-old recently found a way to circumvent XBOX Live’s security, rigging a way around the need for a password. Well done, little man. No come over here, ’cause I got some porn sites I need you to crack.
HIDDEN OCEAN on one of SATURN’S MOON has been discovered
Enceladus! You sly piece of shit. You thought that you could simply fucking hide an ocean underneath your frozen space bollocks. What other sort of surprises are you not revealing? You seem chock fucking full of them! First plumes of water vapor, now this? Not bad for a moon that was thought to be geologically inactive like a fucking decade ago.
‘GODZILLA’ TV Spot: That Ear-Splitting Roar
Godzilla got himself a set of fucking pipes. And uh, he’s also really good at thrashing the living shit out of densely populated urban areas. Marketable skills in the kaiju field. Here’s more of a look at him doin’ his thang.
Opinions Vary: F**k, Chuck, & Marry: The Helicarrier, Fury’s Eye Patch, Rogers’ Crotch
In case you’re a DUMB IDIOT who doesn’t like COOL THINGS, I’m going to let you know that Captain Canada: The Winter Steamboat comes out tomorrow. There’s a variety of reasons to see the movie. Like, it has special effects, and Natalie Portman. What more could you need? But if you’re a pig like me, you’re only in the movie theater for two reasons. To masturbate and eat popcorn. “So, Caff. What are you going to jerk it to?” That’s a great question, Dad. It’s a difficult choice. And I’ve spent some serious time thinking about it. I can’t jerk off to everything, this little pink nub gets tired. Two hours and twelve minutes? Good god. So I’ve decided to divide my heart into a series of segments. Isn’t that what society wants, anyways? Order imposed on emotion? Limits placed on speeds? Fucking bullshit coupons that can’t be stacked at SONIC for all my fucking hot dogs? Isn’t this what It is all about?
QUENTIN TARANTINO directing ‘THE HATEFUL EIGHT’ on stage. For one night.
Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight saga has taken another new twist. This one slightly (read: incredibly) cooler than the announcement that he was canning the son of a bitch after the script leaked. The Good, Quirky Sir is going to be directing it on stage. For one night.
MARVEL has its MOVIE UNIVERSE planned through f**king 2028
This is some Jonathan Hickman levels of plotting ahead, right here. Marvel Studios’ Kevin Feige (his actual title is Chief Dude of Making Disney Comic Book Billions) recently commented that Marvel has planned seriously ahead for their movie universe. Like, fourteen years ahead. Either Marvel is meticulous as fuck, Feige is just talking shit, or a little of both.
