Well, it’s official! The Rock and Jason Statham will be punching copious amounts of skulls together. As well as bantering quite well, too.

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Elijah Wood is down to star in that adaptation of Y: The Last Man that’s been in development forever. Forever. Forever! Hey man, I’m down with that casting.

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X-Files is one of those post-streaming world, zombie-shows that I have no internet in returning to. However, if this show is (still) your cup of tea, here’s a trailer for the eleventh season.

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They still haven’t killed me.

That’s not to say there haven’t been a few close calls. That time I pulled the job on the Federation Bank on Ganymede? Goddamn, that pig went belly-up the second I scratched the skin, but I walked out with an empty clip and sack full of cash. Needless to say, I won’t be going back to Jupiter anytime soon.

Or that time I stowed aboard the Belt Skipper in the hopes of finding my beau for a real lunar tryst of a weekend. Of course, I was discovered halfway through, and that fuck of a captain tried the `ole airlock gag on me. Thing is, that shit only works on the criminally unprepared, and I’m nothing if not one prepared criminal. Fucker punched the release and I flashed him the bird before wrapping myself in a solar sail and then leisurely drifting to a comrade’s outpost.

Oh, and then just yesterday I was having a drink at Old  McQuarrie’s — bourbon and white wine, if you care – and all of a sudden the place goes neon! Bullets and beams whizzing past my head, Old McQuarrie crying behind the bar and doing that thing he does where he says those prayers and grabs at the – whatcha call it – that’s right, the Rosary beads! They managed to kill an old pervert sitting next to me, which is a shame because even though he’d spent a half hour shamelessly trying to get into my pants, everyone in the community really loved him.

So anyways, I end up having to basically gut Old McQuarrie’s with the better part of my arsenal – and I don’t just mean bullets and blades, I’m talking about pulse charges and pheno-drones, too. But, when someone’s trying to take your life, you don’t think to yourself, “Maybe I should save something for next time,” `cause the truth is that there might not be a next time.

They still haven’t killed me.
And I’ve got the privilege of next time.
But next time? They might just kill me.

—-

Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, you salty dogs!

Y’either know the drill or y’don’t. If y’do, just keep movin’ along! If y’don’t, well here’s what’s what: first I warm you up with some half-baked bit of writing nonsense (see above). Then, I share what I’ll be thinking about or watching or listening to or doing over the next week. Finally, you hit up the comments section and share your own tentative plans?

Why do we do this here at OL? Well, because life can be brutal but solidarity can be liberating. We’re all just trying to make our days manageable — or enjoyable or maybe even, in rare instances, triumphant — and sometimes a good suggestion goes a long way.

Enough blathering, let’s freakin’ dance!

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Here is brief trailer snippet from the MarketingWizards at DisneyLucasFilth to announce a full Last Jedi trailer dropping tomorrow. Not only that, though! Tickets go on sale tomorrow night as well.

After the jump, because fucking Twitter video.

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Latest Justice League trailer has dropped, and it’s surprisingly packed with some pathos. I resent how hard the Superman theme from Man of Steel still hits me right in the goddamn feels. Man, that movie had so much promise. Man, I want this movie to be good.

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The first Bromega Twitchcast! Bateman and I are going to be streaming SNES games on the first and third Saturdays of every month.

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Completely forgot that The Matrix franchise is getting some new cinematic-blood, courtesy of writer Zak Penn. Well, what exactly is the movie going to be about, WriterGuy? Apparently dude can’t say much — understandably — other than it’s not going to be a reboot or a continuation.

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It’s the fucking weekend, baby!

Not a minute too soon, not a moment too early. Caught myself some Blade Runner 2049 last night (it’s fucking amazing), and it was worth it! But goddamn, did I ever mentally and physically pay the Iron Price for it. No sleep, very little sleep, what sleep was had was shoddily attained that.

But!

It’s the fucking weekend, baby!

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Man, not fucking feeling this trailer at all, dude. The palette is a vomitorium of bombastically bright hues. John Boyega’s cheap Idris Elba impression falls flat. The designs of the mechs suck. Entire thing feels like Power Rangers, but with kaiju or some shit. I don’t know. I hope I’m wrong.

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