‘Incredibles’ 2 Trailer: We Wanna Fight Bad Guys!
Man, I didn’t think I could produce the juice to get torqued for this movie. You know, boner juice. But, I’m fucking digging this trailer.
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‘Ready Player One’ Trailer: Just nerds ruining nerd shit for the rest of us nerds
As an admitted nerd, and cyberpunk slut, I didn’t think I would ever be ashamed of my desire to live in the Metaverse. Whelp, here the fuck we are.
‘Voltron’ Season 5 Trailer: Desperate times call for desperate alliances
Prince Lotor fixing to join the Voltron squad like a bad ass motherfucker. I’m ready for this. Ready.
Alex Garland wants to make a ‘Swamp Thing’ movie and they should fucking let him
Alex Garland, director of Ex Machina and the upcoming (and apparently dope as fuck) Annihilation wants to make a Swamp Thing movie. Given the quality of his past two directorial efforts, and his further work as a great screenwriter, I say they should fucking let him.
‘Star Wars: Episode IX’ hires ‘Blade Runner 2049’ art director and LET’S GOOOOOO
Goddamn, this is so good. Blade Runner 2049 was visual porn, and man, bringing that sort of art talent to Episode IX? I’m sprung.
‘Atlanta’ Season 2 Trailer: Everybody Gotta Eat
Man, oh man, man, oh man. I need the second season of Atlanta badly, and this trailer only stokes the flames. That said, March 1 is relatively fucking close. I can make it! I can, right?
Dwayne Johnson’s ‘Fast & Furious’ spin-off wants ‘Deadpool 2’ director David Leitch
Listen, let’s be fucking upfront. The previously rumored Shane Black would be the perfect dude to direct a Rock/Statham F&F spin-off. However, if we can’t have him? David Leitch and his glorious brand of action would be a great runner-up.
Monday Morning Commute: Face-Smashed Freedom
Smash your face through the glass.
Don’t resist. Why resist? Because you think there’s another way out? Because you think that someone will come to save you? Because you think the robot sent to murder you would rather have a smoke break instead?
There isn’t. They won’t. It wouldn’t.
So with your arms tied behind your back and that glass window the only means of egress at your disposal, you’ve only got one viable option. You’ve got to smash your face through that fucking glass, projectile yourself through the jagged shards, and pray to Baal that you don’t fatal-nick any of your precious heart-tubes.
But if you pull it off, you’ll be staved. Not saved — `cause no who’s been targeted by one of those clunky metal fucks gets away forever – but staved. And don’t give me any shit about the “you” not being the direct object or that it’s “the inevitable” or “your demise” that’s been “staved off,” because I know what the fuck I’m going for here.
Anyways, I hear the gears and whirrings of a Kill-Bot coming. So, what’re you going to do? Accept your doom or fight for a few more minutes of possibility? What do I suggest?
Smash your face through the glass.
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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!
Now that you’ve survived a worrisome bit of drivel-fiction, it’s time to share the fun stuff we’ll be doin’ this week! What’re you puttin’ into your brain so that it lights up? What’s the rock that you’ll be rollin’ to get through the workin’ days?
Let’s go!
‘Kingdom Hearts III’ Trailer: Another New World, Another Lack Of Release Date
I refuse to believe this game is real until it drops. I straight-up fucking refuse it, friends. Dropping this year? Please.
‘Metroid Prime 4’ is being developed by Bandai Namco Singapore and that is concerning, right?
Who the fuck are Bandai Namco Singapore? And why the fuck are they handling the next installment in the beloved Metroid Prime franchise, eh?
