‘John Wick 3’ will have the HIGHEST BODY COUNT in the series. JOHNNY WICK VERSUS FUCKING EVERYBODY
At the end of John Wick: Chapter 2, it became clear that Johnny’s back is against the wall. So, what’s the baddest motherfucker to do? Kill his way out. And man, does it appear he shall be.
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‘Black Mirror: Bandersnatch’ Trailer: Choose Your Own Mindfuck!
Dropping tomorrow, baby!
‘One-Punch Man’ Season 2 Trailer: The Strongest Punch is Back this April!
It’s been far too fucking long since we’ve gotten new One-Punch Man. But, by god, we shall be finally receiving it next April.
‘Us’ Trailer: Jordan Peele’s next movie is a horrifying, surreal home invasion
I ain’t ready for Jordan Peele’s follow-up to Get Out. But, I’m so fucking ready for Jordan Peele’s follow-up to Get Out.
‘Black Mirror: Bandersnatch’ is a Choose Your-Own Adventure movie with five fucking hours of footage
Black Mirror getting real, real weird with it. I mean, a fucking choose-your-own-adventure movie? Five hours of footage? Wild.
‘Episode IX’ takes place one-year after ‘The Last Jedi’, as confirmed by John Boyega
Episode IX will take place one year after The Last Jedi. It’ll be released two years after The Last Jedi. And, I’m imagining, it’ll be years too early for those still smarting over the divisive flick. Me? I can’t fucking wait.
Monday Morning Commute: By Saturn’s Rings!!!
Y’ever celebrate Christmas? Or Hanukkah? Boxing Day? Kwanzaa?
I’m bettin’ y’have, Dirt-Foot.
But what about Saturnalia? Y’ever get blasted on wine and orgy-bang until swollen and then check out a human sacrifice?
`Less I’m gettin’ y’ears through a time-tunnel, chances’re that y’never bowed before Saturn.
That, said, let’s s’pose y’actually have celebrated Saturnalia – where’d’y’do it? Poor folks, likely in a hovel w’rats scurryin’ in’n’out? Moneybags ‘mongst’ya, in th’actual Temple of Saturn?
That’s purdy cool.
But me? Where’m I celebratin’ Saturnalia this year? What’d’y’say if I told’y’that my mission brought me to Space Station Cronus, and I’m orbitin’ the sixth planet from the sun? What’d’y’say if I told y’that the boys already been loadin’ up on cheap terra-wine? What’d’y’say if I told y’that everyone chipped in to get a live-stream of the day’s NFL games and we’re aimin’ to gamble our ways into fortune? What’d’y’say if I told y’that we convinced Doc to order them good prescription horny-pills and we’re aimin’ to stink up the joint as we slide against each other?
What’d’y’say if I told you that even in the future the parties of the past prevail?
Well, if I was you – well, goddamn, I’d say “Happy Saturnalia, y’old son of a bitch!”
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Welcome to the holiday edition of MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!
Now that you’ve read some of my sci-fi nonsense, it’s time to discuss what we’re all doing this week! Let’s share strategies for having a good (Yule) time!
I’ll start!
Adam McKay wants to make a ‘Silver Surfer’ movie so what the fuck we waiting for?!
Adam McKay, he of Anchorman, The Big Short, countless other flicks, and co-writer of Ant-Man wants to make a Silver Surfer movie. So, like, what the fuck we waiting for, Marvel Studios?
