Well, I got to the point in Modern Warfare 2 when you take the reins of a double-agent and shoot up a ton of innocent people in an airport. Coming directly off of it, and penning this shit as some sort of impression as opposed to an intellectual exercise, I’m not really sure how I feel about the scene. Did it achieve the desired effect of making me feel disturbed? Well, sure. I walked around an airport gunning down civilians, while deploring the dude that commanded me to.

My first reaction was a general sigh at the fatigue that has come from Jack Bauer-inspired utilitarianism. You’re thrust into the role of a soldier who is asked to go into deep-cover as a member of Russian Terrorist Guy’s group. And of course, the general prevention of a zillion casualties is of course rationalization for the fact that you help them gun down like three-hundred civilians. Slay the few, to save the millions! It’s an old hat, isn’t it? Jack Bauer and Jeremy Bentham and John Locke and LOST and a million other places have jacked off this theme for a million years.

I’m not really sure where I fall on this topic, but I know it’s been done to death.

But! But! But!

Maybe this scene is designed to show what truly killing the few to save the masses looks like! Perhaps the entire moment is to humanize the idea of sacrificing the few, and what that truly means. Instead of some mathematical equation, it shows the price of championing this utilitarian method of morality. It’s not just numbers, it’s human lives spread across an airport floor.

I think there may be the incorrect assumption that because Infinity Ward portrays this scene in their game, that they’re espousing this utilitarian belief themselves. The idea being that well, they have characters stating that you must lose some to save the greater sum, so clearly they believe this as well. But instead it seems that maybe they want to explode this notion through the use of this scene, and others throughout the game.

Again, I’ve barely played the game, I have no idea where I am within it. And I’m not even sure how I feel about all this, I’m writing it off the cuff and as it comes to mind. But I feel like there can be a mistake in assuming that the characters in a medium, any medium, generally mimic the beliefs of their creators. Just because we assume the “hero” echoes the beliefs of those who write them, doesn’t mean that’s correct.

And furthermore, perhaps because no one had played the scene prior to being outraged about it, no one has spoken about the fate of the compliant US soldier that takes place in the massacre. They’re murdered at the end of the chapter. This may be very well the punishment afforded to the one who complies with such a demand. Their is definite punishment to the character you control, they bleed out as the villains escape. Perhaps, in other words, if you adopt this utilitarian idea, then the bad guys always win?

I’m not really sure how I feel about the scene, nor am I sure what Infinity Ward was trying to say, or ends up saying. But the scene itself is intriguing, and worthy of discussion. If they wanted to get us talking, they’ve certainly succeeded.

There’s some amazing search engine terms today. Let’s see:

• Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn trap rape : Dude, rape isn’t cool.
• Scat Porn : Dude, try empornium.us
• Kit Kat Crunchy : Yes, they are.
• Bayonetta Cleavage : It’s awesome.
• Modern Warfare AWEFULL Scene : I’m fine with it

But most importantly, “Why didn’t Giles Corey Answer In Court?”

Why? Because he was the fucking man.

Oh shit, chocobos have turned thirteen. And just like a teenager, chocobos have grown fucking huge, and sport amazing, cheesy mohawks. I fucking dig their new look. They’re goddamn enormous, they dwarf the baddies seen in this scan, and they cum in their pants while they sleep. I may have made that last part up. They actually cum in the hay in the barns they sleep in. Click the picture for the entire scan.

My boy, the fucking Bonesaw, pointed this out to me. Apparently Sammy Sosa is the latest celebrity to be wooed into the darkness that is the Black Lantern corps. Now along with Chris Brown, he will accept commands from the lord of Darkness, Michael Jackson. They will go around cranking home runs, eating their girlfriends, and having little boys manipulate their nipples. Eerily, this sounds like a Saturday night out with my friends.

Seriously though, Sammy Sosa looks like a fucking mess.

I think even creepier than his skin are the contact lenses and lipstick.

Via Big League Stew:

Retirement, or something, appears to be changing Sammy Sosa(notes). He and wife, Sonia, were recently in Las Vegas for the Latin Grammys, which included a tribute on Wednesday to singer Juan Gabriel. Photogs caught the Sosas on the red carpet and Sonia looks fabulous as always. As for Sammy … well, there’s no getting around it, but Sammy looked kind of pale.His skin is undeniably lighter than at any time since he broke into the majors in 1989. Is it an illness, or a condition such as Vitiligo, in which depigmentation occurs? Is Sammy just bleaching his skin for fashion’s sake? (Heh, “just.”)I wonder if he is changing his look, simply because his eyes are a different color. Sammy was born with brown eyes. He’s taken to wearing green contact lenses and, quite frankly, they are extremely creepy. Is he co-starring in the upcoming “Twilight” sequel?

Let’s check out Sammy last year.

Oh hey, he looks human! And now a year later, just as the Black Lanterns are killing douchebags and resurrecting them to fight in the quest to annihilate life and mack on gorgeous pop stars, he looks like a pale-skinned nightmare. Coincidence? I don’t fucking think so.

That lumbering drone you hear emanating from the hills is the bone-crunching soul smasher that is the new installment of the Modern Warfare franchise ready to fucking rock. Activision, between owning Blizzard and Infinity Ward, is probably close to building their moon laser or some crazy shit.

Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.

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Welcome to the weekend — let’s catch a buzz!

As I was driving home I remembered that a new liquor store had just opened in my suburb of origin. Maybe this isn’t a big deal to you but my hometown has been completely dry up until this point. Historically, residents always had to go one town over to snag a Friday-sixer, making for just enough of an inconvenience to warrant complaints.

But now those days are over, right? Well, sort of.

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About a week ago a bunch of shenanigans popped off regarding some controversial scene in the forthcoming Modern Warfare 2. There’s an optional scene that depicts a bunch of pinko Russian terrorists that carve up an airport with bullet spray. The player assumes the role of a terrorist, and well, shoots up innocent civilians. Not unexpectedly, a thousand-million people shit their pants in outrage, swore to boycott the game, et cetera. Australia, bored with counting its kangaroos and starting up Outback Steakhouse franchises decided it wanted to reconsider the rating they gave the game.

I’m completely cool with it.

It seems pretty obvious that Infinity Ward is trying to rock a nauseating angle with this scene. The entire expression seems to be a means to depict the horror of terrorism. Infinity Ward themselves conveyed as much in a statement:

The scene establishes the depth of evil and the cold bloodedness of a rogue Russian villain and his unit. By establishing that evil, it adds to the urgency of the player’s mission to stop them.

I imagine there is going to be a visceral, disturbing aspect towards controlling a character slaying a bunch of innocent people. Furthermore, I think it’s an interesting method to evoke such feelings. Infinity Ward takes the unique media of video games to literally put the player in the pants of a pinko murderer. It’s a way of depicting terrorism that may be unique to video games. Sure, there could be first person narrative in a book, or a point of view perspective in a movie, but actually playing the role of the terrorist?

Sort of unique.

I can appreciate that there is a disturbing agency to the situation. The player, as the terrorist, is asked to pull the trigger and kill the civilians. It’s a bit different than simply guiding the player through a first-person perspective. Instead they’re responsible for mauling the player with bullet-spray. Is there a difference between making the player view the atrocity, and making them commit the atrocity?

Probably.

Definitely.

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Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot… But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes and I know, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an idea can still change the world. I’ve witnessed first hand the power of ideas, I’ve seen people kill in the name of them, and die defending them… but you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or hold it… ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love… And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man… A man that made me remember the Fifth of November. A man that I will never forget.

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Ah, to write continuously without thinking much about the words you’re puking onto the inter-pagez. Occasionally you contradict yourself. A lot. I like to pretend that I’m not a slut for pre-order swag, or collector’s editions. But then one of my cum magnets – you know, movies, video games, or books that draws the semen from my penis like venom from a wound – shows me their super ballin’ fresh fly collector’s edition. And I jizm. Behold the MASS EFFECT 2 SUPAR COLLECTOR’S EDITION.

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Well played, super spamming porno-bot. You know exactly how to catch my attention. Dropping some fucking Nietzsche in the subject headline. I mean, how else to get through to some existential nerdbomber? Though, I’m not really sure about the rest of the subject headline:

nietzche love is a glorious snowmobile pictures of a cup breast couples working together opportunities

I mean, I know that Nietzsche aphorisms can be a bit difficult to work through,

Objections, digressions, gay mistrust, the delight in mockery are signs of health: everything unconditional belongs in pathology

But Nietzsche love is a glorious snowmobile pictures of a cup breast? That’s taking it to another level.