[via all games beta \ click images to enlarge]

Yeah, more and more Super Mario Galaxy 2 shit keeps dropping. These screens are win. Let’s see, we got Slave Master Mario riding his dino-servant, 2D goodness, and other odd and bizarre tropes that somehow make sense in video games, particularly the Marioverse. Click the jump for the rest of the scans.

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[via .tiff]

If you didn’t play Ocarina Of Time, you’re going to Hell. It’s in the bible. But that’s okay, HAIL SATAN.

I always happily shit myself. Let me get that out of the way. I’m sitting on a fudge mound happily tucked between buttcheeks and boxer-briefs. But yeah, this trailer for Dead Space is the super illin’. The original blew my fucking mind, and I can only imagine the sequel is going to do the game. Check the trailer out after the jump.

This shit is so fucking amazing, it can only be the result of some sort of karmic justice paid forward to me. Welcome to 2010, where Absurd Rules the Domain Of All.

the guardian via robot 6:

However, the project has finally been confirmed. Patton and Broadrick are both attached to Unearthing, “a bewitching story written and narrated by Moore set against an epic score”. Although the soundtrack is led by Crook&Flail, a partnership between Fog’s Andrew Broder and rapper Doseone, there are a slew of cameos, including Hella’s Zach Hill and Mogwai’s Stuart Braithwaite. “It is about, uh, a co-worker of Alan’s and somehow seemingly about Alan himself,” Doseone told Pitchfork last year. “And it’s about the comic industry, the world of magic, the world we live in, the world we don’t live in.”

How do you fit this much fucking insanity and awesome onto one album? I have no idea. I can’t even wrap my head around this. It may be the worst shit ever, and I’m still there Day One.

[image via all games beta]

This shit is everywhere today, but what the fuck, why not mention it here? It’s a slow news day, I ain’t got nothing on my plate but academic articles and perpetual escape to pornography to break up the drudgery.

via kotaku:

Super Mario Crossover is a flash recreation of the original Super Mario Bros. with a twist. You can choose to play as Mario, sure, but you can also play as five other classic gaming icons, complete with their weapons and special moves. Simon Belmont has his whip. When Bill eats a mushroom, he gains rapid-fire. Mega Man can slide, Link has his boomerang, and Samus can plant bombs in her ball form. Even the music changes to match each character. It’s brilliant.

Play this shit over at the creator’s website. Dude is a god.

I used to work in a run-down mom & pop video store. Without any real customers, I had more than enough free time to watch some really awesome shitty movies. One of my favorites was MVP 2 – Most Vertical Primate. The premise is pretty simple; in the first MVP the monkey was really good at hockey but now he’s good at skateboarding. It’s amazing. I mean think about it, it’s a fucking monkey on a goddamn skateboard! What’s not to love?

I tried to find the trailer and was successful…but it’s in German (I think). In a way, I think watching this movie in another language (and high) would only make it better. Which, I had previously thought was impossible.

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[Variant Covers is a column every Tuesday that breaks down the various titles coming out that week in the world where Tony Stark is a sexy alcoholic. Most just puke on themselves.]

Iron Man #25

Wait a second! Tony Stark, who has been drooling all over himself in a hospital bed, is all of a sudden returned to full capacity? A week before the premiere of the movie. That’s a weird coincidence. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. The dude has been crapping his linens for six months and now he’s rocking out in a sexy new Iron Man suit? Seems convenient. Hmm. Snark for Stark aside, I’m pretty jazzed for this comic book. It’s been well-documented and groaned over that my man-clit is seriously engorged over a) Tony Stark and b) Matt Fraction for a while. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m a broken record, I know.

That said, this shit is consistently one of my favorite comic books. Even if you don’t want to ejaculate over Black Widow’s leather, and even if you don’t care for RDJ and the movie franchise, I’d still recommend this shit. This is a jumping point for everyone (again how convenient), but in case you missed it: Stark had a shitload of blood on his hands, and a Green Goblin on his ass. Fraction managed to intertwine interesting concepts of human consciousness when he had Anthony formatting his brainpiece like a hard drive, and the by-now redundant trope that features Tony dealing with the idea that his technology has been used for muy malevolence. But yeah, let me not kid myself. I want to stroke Stark’s mustache and see him repulsor the shit out of some assholes in this edition. The tagline is “The Marvel Universe Starts Here”, and riffing off the the forthcoming Heroic Age, it makes sense.

Last Unicorn #1

If this doesn’t feature Tom Cruse, I’m going to be pissed. Pissed.

Green Lantern Corps #47

Featuring uh, lanterns and shit.

Anyone have any recommendations for DC comics? ‘Cause I have a confession to make. I’m not really a DC guy. I just don’t have a strong affection for Plastic   Man, and uh Animal Chick, and whoever the fuck else there is in the community. There’s a zillion universes, and the whatnot. It’s not that I’m prejudiced against them, it’s just that I don’t really delve into the universe that much unless someone makes a recommendation.

I’m not a Marvel Zealot or whatever. I always find it hilarious and sort of sad when people ascribe to one universe only, and fanboy rage at the suggestion that perhaps they’re missing something. It’s like fucking gang wars. Lines are drawn. Fat kids in Superman and Spider-Man t-shirts spit and write polemics about why their universe is superior. As I’ve often said, I tend to venture where the writers I dig are. I mean, Grant Morrison made Animal Man fucking awesome.

It seems like people are cheatin’ themselves by drawing these odd lines of demarcations.

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[via popoholic]

It’s not fair.

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Alright, I really think that Flashforward is LOST for mouth-breathers. It’s as subtle as one of my classroom farts, and it has some awful acting.

That said?

That said.

It’s pretty fucking enjoyable. And not only does it have the requisite half-baked mushy science to back up its sci-fi, it’s got some amusing literary references too. Last week saw a reference to The Garden of Forking Paths, a well known short story. And it’s also Pepsibones’ manifesto. No, seriously. Ask him. It’s like, the progenitor of all the hypertextuality Pepsibones will babble about, and to see it referenced in Flashforward made my balls tingle a little bit.

It also doesn’t hurt that the guy who dropped the phrase, Dyson Frost, went under the alias of D. Gibbons, a nod to the penciler of Watchmen.

Flashforward is junk food, but it’s satisfying, and has references for nerds like me. Plus? No Kate. Or Sun. Or Jin. Or Transdimensional Love.

Just saying.