Variant Covers: Rub Tony Stark’s Mustache. Go On. Dirty Boys and Girls.
[Variant Covers is a column every Tuesday that breaks down the various titles coming out that week in the world where Tony Stark is a sexy alcoholic. Most just puke on themselves.]
Iron Man #25
Wait a second! Tony Stark, who has been drooling all over himself in a hospital bed, is all of a sudden returned to full capacity? A week before the premiere of the movie. That’s a weird coincidence. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence. The dude has been crapping his linens for six months and now he’s rocking out in a sexy new Iron Man suit? Seems convenient. Hmm. Snark for Stark aside, I’m pretty jazzed for this comic book. It’s been well-documented and groaned over that my man-clit is seriously engorged over a) Tony Stark and b) Matt Fraction for a while. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m a broken record, I know.
That said, this shit is consistently one of my favorite comic books. Even if you don’t want to ejaculate over Black Widow’s leather, and even if you don’t care for RDJ and the movie franchise, I’d still recommend this shit. This is a jumping point for everyone (again how convenient), but in case you missed it: Stark had a shitload of blood on his hands, and a Green Goblin on his ass. Fraction managed to intertwine interesting concepts of human consciousness when he had Anthony formatting his brainpiece like a hard drive, and the by-now redundant trope that features Tony dealing with the idea that his technology has been used for muy malevolence. But yeah, let me not kid myself. I want to stroke Stark’s mustache and see him repulsor the shit out of some assholes in this edition. The tagline is “The Marvel Universe Starts Here”, and riffing off the the forthcoming Heroic Age, it makes sense.
Last Unicorn #1
If this doesn’t feature Tom Cruse, I’m going to be pissed. Pissed.
Green Lantern Corps #47
Featuring uh, lanterns and shit.
Anyone have any recommendations for DC comics? ‘Cause I have a confession to make. I’m not really a DC guy. I just don’t have a strong affection for Plastic Man, and uh Animal Chick, and whoever the fuck else there is in the community. There’s a zillion universes, and the whatnot. It’s not that I’m prejudiced against them, it’s just that I don’t really delve into the universe that much unless someone makes a recommendation.
I’m not a Marvel Zealot or whatever. I always find it hilarious and sort of sad when people ascribe to one universe only, and fanboy rage at the suggestion that perhaps they’re missing something. It’s like fucking gang wars. Lines are drawn. Fat kids in Superman and Spider-Man t-shirts spit and write polemics about why their universe is superior. As I’ve often said, I tend to venture where the writers I dig are. I mean, Grant Morrison made Animal Man fucking awesome.
It seems like people are cheatin’ themselves by drawing these odd lines of demarcations.
Superman: Last Stand Of New Krypton #3
There’s an assload of Superman comic books coming out this week. And I’m going to level with you – I have absolutely no idea what’s going on with Superman these days. Just insanity and bullshit, it seems. There’s New Krypton falling apart, and uh, crazy shit afoot. In June, DC is bringing the ruckus with War of the Supermen, and I’m actually excited for that. It takes place over four consecutive weeks, and over one-hundred minutes. Which makes sense – since a gazillion Superman punching each other out probably wouldn’t last long.
That shit is setting up JMS’ run on the title, which is where I’ll try and ride the Supercoaster again. JMS has always been hit and miss with me, but it seems like a clean slate, and fuck, it’s got John Cassaday doing covers. So it’s worth trying for a couple of issues at the very least.
Right now though? Yeah, I have no fucking idea what’s going on.