DC And Converse Team Up For Dope Comic Sneakers I Can’t Wear
Source: Comics Alliance
My love for awesome nerdy shoes that I can’t wear because of my mammoth feet is well documented. First there were Bioshock kicks. Then Iron Man sneakers. And now these DC-themed Converse efforts in sexiness that will never fit my enormo-toes.
Hit the jump for the rest of the gorgeous line of shoes.
Variant Covers: Brucey Wayne & A Six-Shooter
Variant Covers, is at its core, a weekly comic book column. Most weeks are like this one, a round-up of the comic books that I am planning to acquire through galactic credits tomorrow at the local Pictures And Words dealer. Other weeks, the status quo is subsumed by a desire to pontificate on a particular topic. Like Peter Parker and his amazing Non-Progress Adventure. All columns are sponsored by a permanent state of juvenility, and made-up words.
Shall we?
Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #4
This is my column, and while I maintain a sense of duty in pleasing others and keeping it fresh, I’m going to go ahead and recommend the latest issue of Bruce Wayne and his righteous riding of the Time Waves. I know that I’ve popped off on this mini-series previously, but I’m sorry.
It’s one of my favorite things dropping every month, and I’ll be god damned if I ain’t excited to read it tomorrow. The latest issue finds Sir Wayne of Forevermore riding the time stream into the wild, wild west. Or is it the wild, wild east? After all, it seems that every time that the Island jumps for him, he ends up in Gotham during Period To Be Determined.
I may be reading it completely incorrectly, there’s always the chance of that.
The series is centered around the essence of Bruce Wayne, and how those essential tropes can carry through the millennium. They’re applicable everywhere. The concepts of symbols as power, great sleuthing, and an undying regret towards being unable to save a loved one (in this case it seems ‘ole Anne Elliot) can work while existing in the realm of Cave Dudes just as well as it came amidst the Red Dead Redemption set.
This shit rocks me like a rock star rocks things.
Spin on that, ya’ll.
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Time-Lapse Terraforming Of Mars Is Rock Solid Nerd Sex
Terraforming ain’t real. Not yet, anyways. Still, that didn’t stop the chaps over at Gizmodo from creating a gorgeous time-lapse video of The Red Planet turning into Our Sister Blue Planet. It’s pure nerd bliss, seeing several familiar fantasies of ours coming to fruition: the aforementioned terraforming, outer-space colonization, and living on Mars.
Hit the jump for the gorgeous video.
Dude Was Legit; Arthur C. Clarke Predicted Direct TV and Garmin Like Woah
Source: Boing Boing : Click to Enlarge
In a letter from 1956, Arthur C. Clarke, uncannily, predicts both GPS and satellite TV. Bravo, you amazing and forward-thinking son of a bitch.
Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch Gets A Trailer; I Get A Slushy Groin
I had only read about Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch prior to this trailer. And still smarting that he took (what I consider to be) a big fat Frat Boy Shit on Watchmen, I didn’t really want to give it much of a look. But now I have seen the trailer, and I think I have been altered for the better/worse.
Returning to where I think it makes sense for him to stay, Sucker Punch looks like the retarded nocturnal emission of a mentally-challenged 16 year-old who plays too much World of Warcraft and drinks too much Mountain Dew. It’s hyper-erotic-violence featuring chicks in short skirts and giant robotic samurai ninjas. It’s like the product of some dude stuck in arrested development, who has been snorting pixie sticks laced with crushed viagra, who then smokes weed and watches 300 and Kill Bill back to back.
In other words, it channels a vibe that speaks to a very, very large part of me, that only through an immense amount of anti-psychotics and self-control have I managed to partially contain.
Also, it’s got Jon fucking Hamm in it. In other words, my homo-crush, and if I could turn my feelings for him into dollar bills, I could buy at least three-hundred-million Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.
Hit the jump and check out the trailer. If your response is “this is the most juvenile piece of video-game pop-slush bullshit I have ever seen, designed for underdeveloped horndogs”, my response is “Yes. I can’t wait.
Monday Morning Commute: I Want To Be Don Draper’s Couch
Behold the Wundercrotch! Wrap it in tinfoil, stick it in front of erotic materials, and within forty-minutes, you’ll have yourself a sticky mess of tinfoil! You say that’s useless?! I say to thee, surely you jest! Why, if it wasn’t for the Wundercrotch, I wouldn’t have been able to wallpaper my dungeon walls with aluminum foil! Such ingenious craftsmanship and plaster holds forever! F-o-r-e-v-e-r.
Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.
