Yo! Welcome to Press Start! The column where I choose five things from the gaming world in the past week that have tickled my pink parts! I smash those sons a bitches into a list and present their mushed parts to you. As always, the list isn’t representitive of the top five biggest or most important stories, but rather an eclectic reflection of my demented brain stem. I encourage you to drop your delicious gaming morsels of the week in my gaping comments box.

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#1: Duke Nukem Rises From The Ashes of My Puberty?
The most ridiculous thing I came across this week is the rumor that Duke Nukem Forever may rise from the ashes like some sort of Phoenix. A phoenix featuring ridiculously-sized guns and chicks with impressive racks. After twelve years of development and one official cancellation last year, I was ready to give up on the Duke.

But then Gearbox Software stepped in. Maybe.

Earlier this week there was a raging rumor rampaging the webs stating that Gearbox Software had quietly stepped in and taken over the thought-dead title. The fact that the studio didn’t vociferously deny this shit lent credence to the rumor, and I got stoked. Super-stoked. Bonerized, even. Why? Gearbox ain’t no band of scrubs, yo! They’re the studio behind Borderlands. So fuck, if any studio can capture the ridiculousness of Duke and his Band of Bullets and Babes, it’s Gearbox.

Double-points to Jesus Christ Allah Lord Deity Person for apparating this news the same week as Sly Stallone’s Expendables dropping in the theaters. If there’s a movie that may capture the absurdity of the Duke, it may be this flick.

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[pixelation | weekly gaming & life column every wednesday or uh thursday]

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Dear comrades, sometimes, in my darkest moments, I think about hanging up my blogging shoes. They are crusty shoes, albeit comfortable. More than that, they’re familiar shoes, my toes fitting snugly in them. Right where they should be. Nonetheless, sometimes in a fit of madness and what is exhaustion at vomiting out thousands of words a day, I say, no, I am done.

Then shit like Bioshock Infinite happens.

I exist within a weird nebulous bubble. I am graduated from my undergrad career. Eight years and three million credits later! But I have not wasted away enough hours and dollars to acquire both my Master’s Degree, nor my certification to teach in the lovely state of Massachusetts.

Not yet.

Even within this weird bubble where I have far too many hundreds of pages to blow off and what seems like endless time, fuck, sometimes I get tired of wading into the data stream and culling from it interesting pieces of Non-Essential-But-Intriguing Information.

Then shit like Bioshock Infinite happens.

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Source: Merit Badger via Boing Boing

Oh Sweet Jesus Christ. The game by the creators of the original Bioshock has been revealed: Bioshock Infinite. Retarded title, whatever. What is it? It’s Bioshock atop a floating city, as opposed to an underwater haven. What is it? Absolutely fucking gorgeous, and epic. I don’t think any other game could have me geeking out like this, the original Bioshock being one of my favorite games of all time.

Kotaku:

Levine began explaining the game to his audience. Infinite is set in the early 1910s. Its main setting is Columbia, a city that floats on balloons and drifted across an ascendant United States, showing the accomplishments of a post-Civil War American ready to express its idea of excellence.

“Something terrible happens,” Levine said, establishing the stakes and the mystery. Columbia proves to be something worse than a beacon of prosperity. “This is not a floating world’s fair. Columbia is a Death Star.” In the lead-up to the events of Infinite, Columbia is embroiled in an international incident of unspecified horror and then disappears into the clouds. Our character, a “disgruntled former Pinkerton agent” named Booker DeWitt, is contacted by a mysterious man who knows where Columbia is. In that city, DeWitt is told, is Elizabeth, a woman who has been raised there and who the man wants rescued. DeWitt accepts the mission, which will be ours as a player: to rescue Elizabeth and, with her super-powered help, get out of the patriotic-turned-violent Columbia.

So it seems to be another deconstruction of American ideals and the forces behind them, this time in a different although seemingly thematically similar place. I cannot fucking wait. Oh jesus.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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I came across this today at Robot 6, and it’s pretty awesome. Artist Paolo Rivera recently commented on his blog that he’d finished his work on the Spider-Man storyline, One Moment In Time. Laced throughout it though, was some pretty inspiring words on the dedication to creation, and love.

Paolo Rivera:

I did it! I’m free! After months of monastic dedication, I have finished… 4 books. Whenever I think of the amount of effort required (by me) to produce a single comic book (let alone 4), I am filled with admiration for the creators, past and present, who do it on a monthly basis.

The image above comes from Amazing Spider-Man #33, 1 of 2 Spider-Man comics that happened to be in my household while growing up (thanks, Dad). Of course, it happened to be one of the greatest Spidey stories ever told, but how was I supposed to know? I couldn’t drive, and I spent what allowance I had on toys.

Looking back on the issue now, it’s hard not to draw parallels between Spidey’s dedication and my own work ethic. My adolescent mind was in awe of Spidey’s resolve: he “rested” while being pummeled by Doc Ock’s henchmen in order to gather strength for the final fight. What? Mind: blown.

People ask me how I can sit in my room for months on end (the “Bat Cave” and “Fortress of Solitude” comments are incessant). The answer is very simple: I love my job. It’s extremely challenging, but that’s the point. It makes finishing a project feel just like lifting tons of steel machinery off your back to reach the serum that will save your dying Aunt May. Love can give you power you didn’t know you had.

Props to Robot 6 for posting it as their Quote of the Day, otherwise I wouldn’t have come across the quote, or Rivera’s rather awesome blog.

I was watching the Sex Files II trailer (it’s SFW) when I saw their analog of the Lone Gunmen. And I remember how fucking cool these guys were. I totally wanted to play Team Fortress with them back in the day while they unraveled conspiracies and shit. Never forget!

Source: Dangerous Minds

It’s a scientific fact that space helmets are cosmically rocking. Here’s a collage of them. Bask in the glory of that which keeps your body from dying within the (alluring) death that is deep space.

Enlarge.

Collector’s Editions are at war with one another. Last year the Modern Warfare family brought everyone night vision goggles, which felled the previous Douchebag Winner, the Spartan Helmet Douchecon Edition from Halo 3. Well! Well, then. Well, well, well. Call of Duty: Black Ops is making a serious, serious push to take the Douchebag Extreme Mantle, by offering a functionable RC car with their Black Ops Collector’s Edition.

Destructoid:

With a range of up to 200 feet, the RC-XD surveillance vehicle is a fully-functioning RC car that features — wait for it — a remote camera that transmits TFT color video and audio. It’s inspired by the surveillance car that will appear in the game’s multiplayer, as seen in the recent teaser trailer.

The “Prestige Edition” will also ship with everything you’ll get in the “Hardened Edition,” including a Black Ops limited edition medal, a Black Ops Avatar outfit (for Xbox 360), and four additional cooperative maps.

If you buy this, you’re a douchebag. But let’s be clear, if it were the right franchise (Mass Effect, Fallout), I’d be a douchebag too.

Remember back in the day when limited-prints of Zelda games came with a cold cartridge? Well it seems like Activision is hearkening back to those dope old days by bundling Goldeneye 007 with a gold controller. As if getting a new Goldeneye game wasn’t enough of a trip in the way-back machine.

God damn, how many hours did I burn through with this game, getting pissed as I got owned in multiplayer with a pack of friends? I don’t intend on gettin’ the remake and by proxy the controller, but it still makes my belly mirthful with warm remembrance.

[Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays  is a (theoretically) weekly column where show you my worlds. Both real and virtual. Then, I invite you to share your own worlds in the comments!]

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