Oh shit! With tomorrow being Wednesday, this is your one-stop shopping center for a rundown on tomorrow’s comic book releases; Variant Covers. Ain’t it a glorious thing? Tomorrow being Wednesday and all. Wednesdays. Hump day. I don’t know how or why the good lord decided that Wednesday was the day designed for new comic book releases, but g’damn if I ain’t grateful. I mean sure I’m a graduate student and I don’t actually “work”, okay? But reading three-hundred pages of DuBois can get its grind on, you know? Got some funny books to tide me over, until the weekend. Even if them weekends don’t mean as much to us unemployed.

I’m throwing a sinking curveball today. Instead of glossing over the releases, I’m going to expose myself to you. I’m going to highlight all the titles I actually intend on buying. This is in stark contrast to my decided efforts on the occasion to give love to things I’m not really feeling out of charity. Or more likely, recognition of my own poor taste. But this shit is the real deal, the titles I’m snaggin’ with a shit-eating grin tomorrow. And in case you’re wondering? Shit is delicious.

Hit the comments box with your own pull-list. We’ll compare sizes and quality. Maybe even girth.

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Northlanders #32
Brian Wood is fucking awesome. Do enough comic book fans recognize this? I’m not sure. After expressing my concerns to my brother, I was reassured that he’s respected within the walls of Geekdom. I fucking hope so, man. I really do. He isn’t penning Uncanny X-Factor: Fucking & Punching or anything for the Two Juggernauts, and because of that I’m hoping the chap gets the buzz anyways. Since I don’t troll forums or communicate with the inner workings of my nerd brethren, I’m not sure.

But this I do know, again. Brian Wood is fucking awesome. If you need proof, you’re going to read Northlanders #32 this week. Part three of the storyline “Metal”, it features a rampaging viking named Erik as he goes about culling the Christian population from his land while making love to a beautiful lady by the name of Ingrid in the woods. It’s a commentary on religion and power set to the tune of headwounds. Crank the Amon Amarth and get down to this shit.

[Aside: I read DMZ in collected format, but the new issue drops this week. If you’re not reading DMZ in some capacity, you’re failing. I spurn thee. Also, I’m picking up DV8: Gods and Monsters #6 by Sir Wood as well this week. After textually fellating him, I’m just folding that purchase into this post. To spare you gagging on my gagging on Wood.]

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Harlan Ellison’s Phoenix Without Ashes #2
The second issue of the comic book-adaptation of a failed television show based on an Ellison script drops this week, and I’m stoked. The first issue was pure set-up, but that’s expected out of a premiere, non? Shit was something like The Village Meets Uh Maybe Dark City Or Something. Christ, I know I’m not doing it a solid by describing it that way.

The basics: a young chap by the name of Devon lives on the world-village Cypress Corners, which is governed by a bunch of Amish-looking motherfuckers who proclaim to channel the world of the “creator’s machine”. Devon, as a bunch of similar young men, is powered by love and conviction and is like “fuck your dumb fraudulent machine”, after discovering it is all a farce. Dude is chased out of the village, and by the end of the first issue, he’s staring at an opening mechanical gape in the ground.

Sci-Fi porn featuring a critique of assuming the proclamations of the powerful to be correct? I’m there. You should be too.

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Thor: For Asgard #2
It’s a great week to be a World of Warcraft-playing dork like me. Serious fucking viking and epic overload. The second issue of Rodi and Bianchi’s look at Thor and his pretty assy attempt at ruling Asgard drops, and it’s worth buying for the artwork alone. Bianchi’s pencils are the work that nerd orgasms are made of. Good lord! Shields! And swords! And cleavage! Rendered in such splendor! Last issue concluded with Thor getting righteously cock-blocked by Mjolnir. Why hast his hammer forsaken him?

Dude’s got it rough. His Dad went out on some pilgrimage, and now he isn’t even dubbed worthy of wielding his trusty smash-mallet.

Forsooth!

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Monday mornings can be a real drag. But they’re a bit more tolerable if you blare ridiculous rap. G’ahead, it doesn’t matter if you’re at work – your boss will love this shit. For your listening/viewing pleasure, I present the Ying Yang Twins’ Badd. Gahdamn, this is has to be one of my favorite music videos of all time.

I just hope the aliens don’t stumble across it when they’re doing their assessment of humanity.

[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the newest developments of Don Draper and his ragtag group of cohorts. In the spirit of the show, it will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]

Ok, here we   go again – my unedited, stream-of-conscious thoughts about this week’s episode of Mad Men:

So we start with Draper reflecting on the fact that he never finished high school, has been drinking too much, and has never managed to pound out more than 250 words at a time. Is this the beginning of the upward swing we’ve all been waiting for? God I hope so.

Oh shit – John Draper’s smoking a butt in his sunglasses while the Rolling Stones’ Satisfaction plays. As a straight male with a fulfulling relationship, nothing has ever been more homosexually tempting. This guy is a fuggin’ stud through and through.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Oh snap! It’s already Sunday!? Where did this week go? How could I have let work and personal tragedy get in the way of reading comics? Egads! Well then, the Sabbath will be kept holy! The funnies will be revered!

The best dang book from this week’s pile is THOR: The Might Avenger #4. Although OL’s been keeping an eye on this series for awhile now, we’ve yet to to grant it “best of” status. Which is damn shame, because this incarnation of the God of Thunder’s exploits is fuggin’ astounding. It’s bright and fun and full of the optimistic energy that Marvel is known for. Or used to be. Or still is, I’m not sure.

This issue picks up where the first three left off, bringing the readers through the origin-story of Thor’s arrival on Earth. The beautiful, bulky blond is straight chillin’ with his babe of an Earth-host, Jane Foster. In this retelling, Jane is an expert of Norse mythology and employed by a local museum – so of course she can’t help but take Goldilocks into her care when he stumbles off of the rainbow-bridge. Their relationship is slightly flirtatious, completely well-intentioned, and wholly endearing.

This most recent issue sees Thor’s homeboys the Warriors Three coming to visit him in his new realm. In search of a night of merriment and drinking, the foursome head to a tavern in England. Once there, the normal hijinks ensue; Fandral finds fleeting romance with the female bartender, Hogun keeps mum and Volstagg is the life of the party. And after Thor makes a scene when no one in the bar can tell him how to get to Trondheim, Captain Britain has to come regulate.

The ensuing confrontation between Captain Britain and Thor (with assistance from his buddies) is more of a skills-demonstration than a battle-to-the-death. What we see is warriors duking it out over a misunderstanding, being impressed by one another, and then ending the night by sharing a few rounds of brew! This is the type of friendly competition that is far too-often overlooked in favor of blood-feuds.

Roger Langridge’s script is both lighthearted and action packed. The characters, even when they are in the midst of more serious matters, always bring a smile to the reader’s face; for instance, even the Warriors Three’s investigations of Thor’s inability to recall his banishment is rife with jocular banter and witticisms. Fortunately, Samnee‘s pencils only make the comic stronger, lending a classic cartoon flair to even the most violent fight scenes. Chris Samnee manages to incorporate a level of detail into the art, which makes the almost animated stylings worthy of repeat-readings.

The word I find myself using over and over to describe this comic book is fun. This is a series for children and adults, for comics fans and newcomers, for writers and artists. There is no reason, provided that this quality continues, that this series can’t win and Eisner.

Or a whole heap of `em.

Oh, Donny. I know things are rough for you right now. The American Dream is vomiting up all over itself, and so are you. Alcoholism, blackouts, prostitutes. Dying loved ones. Things may seem like they suck, but hold on tight to the beauty in the world! It’s there! Underneath your cigarette butts and empty vodka bottles. And in the sky, too! Double rainbow, Donny! Double rainbow!

The above galaxy is NGC 300. Yeah man, what a drag of a name, no? NGC 300 just happens to be one of the brightest galaxies in the night sky, and as such it deserves a better nomenclature then it has been given. How about Sexy Pink Things? It’ll conjure up beauty, then sexiness, and then perhaps a perfect way to segue into some sexy-time whilst gazing at the cosmos. I’m reaching, but that’s what I do. What’s remarkable about NGC 300 are the fluffy pink clouds that adorn the gorgeous son of a bitch. What are they? I’ll tell ya! Well, actually, io9 will.

io9:

Located in the Sculptor Group of galaxies just six million light-years from Earth – barely any distance at all in intergalactic terms – NGC 300 is one of the brightest galaxies in the southern skies, and any amateur astronomer in the southern hemisphere should be able to spot it without much difficulty. Of course, a pair of binoculars won’t reveal the amazing detail that we can see in this photo taken by the Wide Field Imager at the European Southern Observatory’s La Silla Observatory in Chile.

The pink spots, which almost make it look as though the galaxy has come down with a case of galactic chicken pox or measles, are energetic star-forming regions. These bright nebulae are so packed with new stars that they’re easily distinguishable from the fainter, wispier parts of the rest of the galaxy. You can click on the image up top for a closer look at NGC 300.

On NGC 300. You’re so cute, with your star-forming regions. Seriously though, it’s a pretty sexy galaxy, and its a bit of a mind-warp to consider how many stars must be there in the nebulae to light up so much brighter than the rest of the galaxy.

There’s your space porn for the day.

Here’s the thing about taking set pictures: they always look retarded and out of context. I try and keep that in mind while taking a gander. Sometimes though? Sometimes though it gets hard. Take for example, this latest batch of Captain America pictures leaked from the set.

Slashfilm:

These shots are different. They don’t show Chris Evans in costume as Cap, but they do have his stunt double in full gear, right down to the wings painted on his helmet. If you didn’t see the Comic Con costume test teaser and the concept art wasn’t enough to communicate how the costume would look, these photos should do the trick.

Hit the jump to see the pictures yourself, and let me know what you think in the comments box.

So what we have here are set pictures of Chris Evans’ stunt double, completely out of context. My thoughts? The outfit itself looks clunky as hell. Too much shit going on. But as I also said, there’s the good possibility that when we see the garb within the movie itself, it’ll look dope. Basically, I’m going a lot of equivocating.

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[Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays  is a (theoretically) weekly column where show you my worlds. Both real and virtual. Then, I invite you to share your own worlds in the comments!]

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According to both his Twitter and his forum, Mike Portnoy is leaving Dream Theater.

Wait, huh? Yeah, that’s right – Mike Portnoy is leaving the most respected progressive-metal group on the planet, the very band he helped found twenty-five years ago and launched him to the status of music-nerd-legend. As the group’s most vocal member, the drummer has basically become synonymous with the Dream Theater franchise. This move is like James Hetfield leaving Metallica, Dave Mustaine leaving Megadeth, or maybe even Bruce Dickinson leaving Iron Maiden…Hey…wait a second…

So why did he leave? His reasoning:

We have been on an endless write/record/tour cycle for almost 20 years now (of which I have overseen EVERY aspect without a break) and while a few months apart from each other here & there over the years has been much needed and helpful, I honestly hoped the band could simply agree with me to taking a bit of a “hiatus” to recharge our batteries and “save me from ourselves”…

Sadly, in discussing this with the guys, they determined they do not share my feelings and have decided to continue without me rather than take a breather…I even offered to do some occasional work throughout 2011 against my initial wishes, but it was not to be…

My Interpretation: Portnoy has been sullied by playing with Avenged Sevenfold. He’s probably enjoying a level of recognition and luxury that Dream Theater could never afford him. While this is understandable, DT’s other members don’t have the same opportunities and probably don’t feel like waiting for him to finish living the life to start making music again. I’m sort of troubled by Portnoy’s offering to “do some occasional work” for the band.

Seems like priorities are shifting; he originally made it seem as though it was Avenged Sevenfold he’d be doing some occasional work for, not his own band.

My Prediction: This is going to create a huge riff in the Dream Theater fan community – I’m talking some David Lee Roth/Van Halen type of shit. But just like that classic rock feud, I can’t imagine this will last.

Hit the jump to see some Portnoy/Dream Theater highlights!
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[Search Engine Terms come from an app in the Word Press dashboard. It tells you the terms that people are using in google to lead to your site. Most of ours are ultra depraved and horrible. And amusing to sick people like me.]

Is this shit anything like the Supermanfuck? If so, I want in.