OH MY GOD CHECK IT OUT! As I perpetuate the problem by spinning a single picture of Chris Evans as Captain America running into something newsworthy. It really ain’t. But it’s Sunday evening. It’s slow. The snow is cold and the night is dark.

Hit the jump for the picture.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Reading an issue of Casanova reminds me of going to a sick house party. As much as you might mentally prepare yourself for celebratory bedlam, you don’t know just how fuggin’ insane it’ll be until you’re in the midst of it, far beyond the point of no return. Substances pummeling your brain, everything glows a little bit and you’re left asking some wonderful questions:

– Why does the girl with the Dream Theater shirt keep singing Raspberry Beret on karaoke?
– Did that dude just pound a beer and smoke a cigarette at the same time?
– Who brought their grandpa? And why does he look so familiar?

Whether or not answers are ever delivered is immaterial. The wonder is in going through such a mindfugg, an experience that excites sensory perceptions and puts a smile on your face.

Matt Fraction and Fabio Moon’s newest issue of Casanova left me with a backpack full of questions. I’m narratively shell-shocked. But the book also gave me more sci-fi pop than I’ve had in quite some time.

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Entertainment Weekly is dropping their 2011 Preview issue this week, and within is a new look at the God of Thunder. I can’t help it. I am beyond swooning for Chris Hemsworth in Thor garb. I have begun writing Hemmy (as I call him) letters detailing the reasons why we should hang out, and trying to reassure him that it’s way more comfortable to meet someone for the first time if you’re both not wearing pants.

Hit the jump for the full image.

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Behold the inner sanctum of Hell! You probably thought that the Devil lived in some dingy-ass cave, right? Shitty halls and screams? Naw, he lives here. Where is here? The Whirlpool Galaxy, but you can call it M51. We have one picture of it on the left, looking all safe and shit. On the right, however, we have its true form exposed. The sanctum of El Diablo.

The Hubble’s site explains the two different views:

The image at left, taken in visible light, highlights the attributes of a typical spiral galaxy, including graceful, curving arms, pink star-forming regions, and brilliant blue strands of star clusters. In the image at right, most of the starlight has been removed, revealing the Whirlpool’s skeletal dust structure, as seen in near-infrared light. This new image is the sharpest view of the dense dust in M51. The narrow lanes of dust revealed by Hubble reflect the galaxy’s moniker, the Whirlpool Galaxy, as if they were swirling toward the galaxy’s core.

Outstanding.

Hit the jump for a high-res version of the Devil’s Regions revealed.

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Press Start! Your one-stop shopping center for uh, nonsense? The weekly column where I drop the five things in the gaming world that caught my eyes. I’m cranking this pig out with a bit of a headache, so I apologize if its (more) slapdash (than usual.) Hit the comments box with your gaming happenings, my comrades in dual-analogs.

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#1: Wesley Snipes Is Making A Video Game.
I don’t know what we’ve done as a people to deserve this karmic high-five. Sometimes you just need to accept something solid coming your way, and not question it. Wesley Snipes is many things. A felon. Blade. Willie Mays Hayes. Above all of that however, the dude is a multimedia mogul. While serving time in prison, Snipes has been working on a video game for for the iPhone and iPad. Titled Julius Styles: The International, this son of a bitch is only the beginning. Snipes is looking to parlay this son of a bitch into a movie. Down the road in 2013. When he’s let out of jail for tax evasion. The fucking fascists man, they’re holding him back from executing this grand scheme soon.

This wasn’t the only righteous moment of video game absurdity this week. We were also informed we were getting a reality show based on Pac-Man. Yup.

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#2: Sony & GeoHot Prepare To Throw Down.
Last week, the big news was that the hacker GeoHot released the PlayStation 3’s root key. This week was Sony’s move, as began to take legal action against GeoHot. Speaking of the man, condemn these corporate pigs! No, but seriously. You can’t blow the PlayStation 3’s asshole wide open and not expect some sort of legal action to be thrown your way. There’s a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo being thrown around that is way over my head. Sony has released one document that contains “over 280 pages of “evidence” to provide cause for enjoining them against further hacking — said evidence consisting of full, copy-and-pasted pages from Twitter accounts, forum posts, and news stories relating to the recent discoveries of the PS3’s private and root keys.”

That doesn’t phase Geo, though! Dude knows his rights. Or should I say, he feels pretty confidently in what believes are his rights. Hot responded to Sony’s charges by saying “I would expect a company that prides itself on intellectual property to be well versed in the provisions of the law, so I am disappointed in Sony’s current action…cont…I have spoken with legal counsel and I feel comfortable that Sony’s action against me doesn’t have any basis.”

I hope you’re right, bro. You’re lucky this is Sony. If you fuck with Nintendo, they don’t press charges. Their ninjas up and kill you.

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#3: EA CEO Predicts Digital Sales Surpass Retail This Year.
John Riccitiello is the CEO of Electronic Arts. So when he speaks, there are two things to consider. First, that he carries a lot of weight with his predictions. His visions have merit. However, secondly, anything he promotes is going to be heavily politicized. His visions have merit, because he has the clout to largely enact them by himself. I mean, fucking Electronic Arts. Thar be the Leviathan, no?

Riccitello was quoted in a recent interview as saying,  “At the end of [2011], the digital business is bigger than the packaged goods business, full stop. No questions in my mind. Then, you know, I think that we’ll find ways to even sell our packaged goods content in chunks and in pieces and subscriptions and micro-transactions.” When the leader of a juggernaut makes such claims, it is hard to dismiss it.

The future is going intangible, yo! It can’t be helped. That is the price or progress. Or capitalism. But not only is it going intangible, but it is going to be chopped into tiny pieces and you’re going to be nickel and dimed to death. To death. That’s just going to be the way it is. Why? Because John Riccitiello wants it that way, and he has a sledgehammer powerful enough to beat it into being.

Just today I started having an anxiety attack realizing I don’t physically own a  good portion of my music. What if society collapses! What if my hard drive crashes? I’m done! Now apply that to everything, including video games. Then there’s the whole microtransaction thing, and this article petrifies me on two fronts.

Oh Riccitiello, you fuck.

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There’s a Pac-Man reality TV show in the works. This future-abortion is being helmed by Merv Griffin Entertainment, the fuckers behind Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy!  I know it doesn’t make any sense, but welcome to the Wasteland, where nothing makes sense. Therefore, everything makes sense. We’re turning the board game Battleship into a fucking movie. Why can’t we turn Pac-Man into a reality show? Of course you don’t have a good reason! Here, have some details down your willing gullet, from  Roy Bank, the Guy Of Some Importance Or Something from Merv:

A big, crazy  Wipeout-type event with a lot of energy. The idea we have is to take what Pac-Man is and bring it to life, to bring what is essentially the world’s biggest game of tag to television.

I can’t imagine why this wouldn’t be a success and why we won’t all be stapled to our chairs while its on. Nonetheless, it isn’t the Pac-Man television show I envisioned. In my reality TV show, someone hides a bottle of Ambien in a giant grass  labyrinth. While I’m searching for it, people chase me with blunt objects. If I find the bottle of Ambien, I then pound them pills and chase them, because next to the bottle of Ambien is also a corked bat and an unloaded gun.

I think this would make for much more riveting television, but what the fuck do I know.

I know what you’re thinking. “Patrick, you’re posts are SO relevant. If it’s not Nicolas Cage minutiae then it’s about movies no one wants to watch.” Honestly, I agree. I still don’t know why the Brothers Omega let me write for them. BUT if you don’t love Gremlins you’re an idiot and I will fight you. I just rewatched it yesterday – along with Gremlins 2 – then followed it up with cruising the web for cool Gremlins shit. That’s right, it’s called being productive, you malmsey-nosed devil-mon!

My Gremlins VHS is seriously lacking in special features so I checked YouTube for juicy making of videos and found some great stuff. I wish the video after the jump went into more of the technical aspects of making the Gremlins be all mischievous (aka puppetry), but I’ll settle for director Joe Dante being a huge fucking nerd. Dante is the legendary director of The ‘burbs, several Eerie Indiana episodes, and The Howling. He’s basically the king of horror-comedy. Nowadays he wears suits and contact lenses, but back in the day he looked like me but with a better head of hair. Steven Spielberg also makes an appearance, looking well put together like he always has. The second BTS feature for G2 is sort of goofy, but fun nonetheless.

Hit thee jump and enjoy and thank me later!

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The internet doesn’t want me to play Black Ops today. As soon as I’m done posting about Garfield as Spider-Man, I come across a Comic Alliance article features a scan from Entertainment Weekly of Chris Evans as Captain America.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Updated @ 6:01 EST With High-Res Version.

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Sony has released the first picture of Andrew Garfield in the Spider-Man suit. My thoughts? I think he looks fucking awesome. Hit the jump to check it out, and hit me with your thoughts.

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Say what you will about his tenure as E-i-C, I dig Joe Quesada. The dude elevated the fucking game way back in the early 2000s. His run on Daredevil with Kevin Smith, his creation of Marvel Knights, his hand in the Ultimate line. He helped draw in huge names, ramped up a rivalry with DC which benefited both stables, and more. He’s been up and down since then, but the dude behind a renaissance (in my opinion) of the Marvel line deserves some credit.

In a new interview with Comic Book Resources, the new Chief Creative Officer of Marvel dropped some interesting thoughts. He spouted off about bringing Marvel creators more prominently into the movie and television projects.

Hit the jump for the deets.

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