Macho Man Randy Savage is one of the baddest motherfuckers alive. Fact, not opinion. Nothing can stop him. Not time, nor drugs, nor the death of Miss Elizabeth. After parting ways in 1994, the WWE and Macho Man have reunited, and it has resulted in awesome. The Macho Man has cut a fucking ridiculous promo for THQ’s upcoming WWE All-Stars. In something that is no less than a nostalgia-bomb-orgasm for me, Macho Man rambles on for a good minute and a half. Dude drops lines like “COMPLETE MENTAL INSANNNNNNNNNNITY” and “FUNKY LIKE A MONKEY.” Jesus Christ, I wish I was on set for this.

Oh childhood, I miss you.

Hit the jump for the video.

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If I owned a bar on the moon, these are the types of jams I’d blast. Tap your toes. Nod your head. Mack on a babe in a spacesuit.

I have no shame in admitting how I choose the beers I drink. Although I know that my tum-tum favors dark brews, porters and stouts, I often drink the beer with the most appealing name, packaging, or slogan. It’s shallow, I know. But hell, marketing campaigns are almost as irresistible as the executives that create them. Throw in a silly cartoon mascot or the right buzz-word and I’ll give your beer a shot.

Today, I’m drinking Revolutionary Rye Ale. The reason? Other than the fact that it’s brewed by the indomitable Sam Adams, I like the word revolutionary. From a language standpoint, I think the word is attractive both visually and auditorily. Six syllables. Every vowel represented, even the bastard-son Y. An adjective. Or a noun! What’s not to love about the word itself?

Moreover, I can’t help but fall victim to the connotations. And I’m not even talking about those of American history, the butt-whomping of King George III‘s dominion over the colonies. Although that was pretty sweet and inspired one of cinema’s greatest accomplishments.

No, I love the most stripped-down conception of revolution: a drastic upheaval of accepted traditions and dogmatic practices in favor of originality and progress. Why live according to yesteryear’s tired structures when new ones can be constructed? Why don’t we demolish the mausoleum and put a fucking museum over it? Why sail the seas when we can explore the stars?

Maybe I’m just dreaming of a world in which the collective consciousness continues to evolve. But I’m not alone. The Beatles knew what I’m rambling about. Hell, so did Pantera.

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Enlarge. | Via.

Steampunk Palin is a real comic book. It’s really real. Steampunk Palin is a real comic book. It’s really real. It also features Robama. Yep. A robotic Obama.

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Clint Eastwood is directing Beyoncé in a remake of “A Star Is Born.” Que?

Slashfilm:

Well, it’s not Paint Your Wagon 2, but I guess this is as good a way to get another major filmmaker to do a musical as any. A new version of A Star Is Born is a film that has been lurking at the edges of possibility for a couple years. Now Clint Eastwood has agreed to produce and direct it, with Beyoncé starring.

Deadline has the surprising news of Clint Eastwood’s involvement. Beyoncé has been attached since last year, and there was a point where it looked like Russell Crowe might co-star with Nick Cassavetes directing. That version died, but the script now is apparently the same one by Will Fetters that was floating around WB then. At this point, there is no male lead cast.

This would be the fourth major screen version of A Star is Born, with the Judy Garland version from 1954 standing as the most revered. We can probably expect some updates to the story of a young girl who dreams of being a star and is given a boost by a washed-up older star, but at the core don’t expect too many changes. But in the days of reality TV, American Idol and YouTube fame, the whole idea of becoming a star is now a bit different than it once was. (It seems that the drive for stardom has only increased, however.)

This shit is too odd and unexpected to not comment on. I don’t really have much to add. Other than anything that somehow combines Clint Eastwood and Beyoncé deserves my money.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Science fiction and fantasy do just fine on their own. They’re both autonomous. Wonderful in their own ways. They don’t need anyone else.

But sometimes they can’t help but reach out to one another. It’s 3AM and science fiction can’t sleep. He scratches his stubble, thinking for a minute, and then grabs the phone. Without even looking at Caller ID, fantasy knows who’s on the other end. She lets it ring twice, but then can’t help but pick up.

You know why? Because when science fiction and fantasy hook-up, it’s fuggin’ phenomenal. Duh.

THOR #619 is an exemplar, a showcase of just how hot’n’heavy the science fiction/fantasy booty-call can be.

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Betelgeuse is a pissed off red supergiant star. Soon, Betelgeuse is going to go supernova. According to Alasdair Wilkins in an article at io9, this is going to be particularly righteous for the citizens of Earth. You know, provided we’re alive and such.

The star is located in the Orion constellation, about 640 light-years away from Earth. It’s one of the bright and biggest stars in our galactic neighborhood – if you dropped it in our Solar System, it would extend all the way out to Jupiter, leaving Earth completely engulfed. In stellar terms, it’s predicted to explode in the very near future. Of course, the conversion from stellar to human terms is pretty extreme, as Betelgeuse is predicted to explode anytime in the next million years.

Out-fucking-standing. Notice the phrase “in stellar terms, it’s predicted to explode in the very near future.” I get the feeling we’re all going to be dead when it occurs. But wait, what is this going to look like?

But still, whether the explosion occurs in 2011 or 1002011 (give or take 640 years for the light to reach Earth), it’s going to make for one of the most unforgettable light shows in our planet’s history. For a few weeks, the supernova will be so bright that there will appear to be two stars in the sky, and night be will indistinguishable from day for much of that time. So don’t count on getting a lot of sleep when Betelgeuse explodes, because the only sensible thing for the world to do will be to throw a weeks-long global supernova party.

A few weeks of permanent daylight across the globe? This is fucking amazing. If you’re often wondering what the point of trudging along in your empty life, and you need a reason to live: stick it out for this.

Via.

Reboots, remakes, revamps – whatever you want to call them – are a touchy subject. People don’t give a shit unless the trades rumor a remake of a film important to their love of film. It’s a very personal issue. Whether the improvement of technology has anything to do with the remake or not, it always comes down to a personal connection with the film. For example: I couldn’t care less when a remake of Friday the 13th was announced, but when the news dropped that Will Smith would be remaking The Karate Kid starring his son, I instantly blacked out started throwing punches at invisible foes. That movie is perfect in my book and doesn’t need to be “updated” or whatever. Despite being dated – one memorable line has Daniel saying “Hey, it’s the ’80s!” – it’s still one of the greatest movies of all time.

Today it was announced that Warner Bros. plans to remake Lethal Weapon, for retarded reasons:

Warner Bros and producer Joel Silver have set Will Beall to write Lethal Weapon, with a take that will relaunch the buddy cop series with a new cast. Beall, a former LA police officer who patrolled South Central and wrote the novel L.A. Rex, has seen his stock rise at the studio because of his script Gangster Squad, the period crime drama about an elite crime squad that fought against organized crime kingpins like Mickey Cohen. Zombieland helmer Ruben Fleischer has come aboard to direct that film.

Warner Bros has been messing around for some time with Lethal Weapon 5, with a treatment written by original scribe Shane Black. The plan was to bring the original team back, but schedules didn’t match up and Mel Gibson’s image has taken a self-inflicted beating [much like my wang -ed].   Beall pitched a take that maintains the tone of the original—a hard R-rated edgy street cop movie. (via Deadline)

When Lethal Weapon premiered in 1987, it was basically the FIRST Hollywood interracial buddy cop movie ever. Besides race, it also deals with the mental damage brought wrought upon Vietnam vets, crooked dealings of the CIA, suicide, and the pain Christmas can bring. It was written by one of the most talented (and my absolute favorite) screenwriters: Shane Black. He’s a modern day Raymond Chandler. He wrote The Monster Squad, Lethal Weapon, The Last Boyscout, The Long Kiss Goodnight, and saw the the marketing ability of a sober Robert Downey Jr. in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (before anyone else did). And he’s slated to write/direct the new Doc Savage movie. Get pumped for that because if anyone can do pulp content right, it’s Shane fucking Black.

(Val Kilmer, Robert Downey Jr., and Shane Black)

The fact of the matter is, Lethal Weapon doesn’t need “updating.” Besides the fact that it still stands up to repeated viewings, the interracial buddy cop movie has been done to death. Black won’t do Lethal Weapon 5 – he dropped out after he co-wrote 2 – because he’s not an idiot. Mel Gibson is a nightmare we don’t need to write about. So blog about this and SAVE LETHAL WEAPON!

Yeah son, yeah! After we all went bat-shit rage fest over yesterday’s X-Men: First Class photoshop nightmare, today we got some actual pictures. From, like, sets and shit. Much better. Much, much better. Listen, I openly admit every time I post some set photos that commenting on anything ahead of time is overly reactionary and the what not. But it’s the internet, and its fun.

So hit the jump, and check out the much classier set-pictures.

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