The second trailer for Duncan Jones’ upcoming flick Source Code dropped today. He’s only directed one movie, but I’m already a frothing Jones fanboy. If you use your powers of intellect, you’ll figure out that means I’m pretty excited for anything regarding this movie. The premise is gimmicky sci-fi, and that’s cool by me. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a character who is inserted into the last eight minutes of a man’s life on a train that was victim of a bombing. He has to try over and over again to figure out who the culprit is, while he falls in love with an obviously doomed passenger.

Cue meditations on fate, destiny, the ability to change the future, et cetera.

It also reminds me a lot of Assassin’s Creed and the animus, but that’s another story.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

Keep Reading »

Duncan Jones’ Moon is one of my favorite movies of the last five years. Jones dared to riff on Blade Runner and 2001 with gorgeous visuals and a haunting soundtrack by Clint Mansell. Max Tannone, the dude behind Jaydiohead and more took Mansell’s score and decided to rock out a hip-hop album to the riffs. The vocals are provided by Richard Rich.

Keep Reading »

Get your dick nice and hard! Adrenaline-pumping, adolescent chainsaw death raging fuckery! Gears of War 3 has a release date. This son of a bitch is dropping September 20, 2011. I can’t fucking wait. It’s been too long since I suited up as a nice meatheaded HGH-looking motherfucker and taken out some locuts with my giant raging bladed phallus.

Get some!

Enlarge. | Via.

Universal Studios Singapore has a Battlestar Galactica rollercoaster. Motherfrakkers. To Singapore. We march.

Not to be outdone by the cadre of new Thor pictures, Captain America got himself some new photos as well tonight. Dude straight up told Marvel Entertainment, “Listen, it’s obvious as a blue eyed, blond haired dude I am clearly not the America dream, but the Nazi posterchild. I will make this shit public if you don’t give me some pub” and thus they did. I really don’t know what I’m taking about.

Hit the jump for the pictures.

Keep Reading »

The second trailer for Zack Snyder’s adolescent boner dream has dropped today, and it’s more of the same. Thankfully for me, more of the same is over-the top-action, midriffs, and over stylized bullshit. For all of these, I am a sucker.

I dug the trailer while trying to not realize how inherently sexist it is to presume that a girl’s dream world would find her running around with her stomach showing, a short skirt on, and her hair done up in blow job handles. No, Zack Snyder, if I had to guess that’s definitely not how a woman would envision empowering herself. It’s how permanently adolescent fucking pigs like you and myself would.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

Keep Reading »

Marvel has released a couple of new official images from the Thor movie, and goodness me am I gooey over this flick. I can’t tell who I find sexier, Natalie Portman or Chris Hemsworth. My girlfriend and I release simultaneous sighs of appreciation whenever we catch a Thor trailer, and she said during the Super Bowl debut that she would be okay if I left her for him.

I’m in the clear!

Also in here are a bunch of hilariously awful character photos. Completely out of context bullshit shots with awful photoshop in the background. These photos are destined to adorn shitty posters in Hot Topic and school folders.

Hit the jump for the full load.

Keep Reading »

This video starts with the Moon and then scales out and out and out until it reaches the largest known star. It’s a staggering moment of cosmic awesomeness. One of those “holy shit – this place the Universe is enormous!” type things.

Hit the jump for the video. Try and not existentiapuke.

Keep Reading »

Close the door and turn out the light. If you use your mind’s eye, you’ll see an infinitely tendriled machination coming your way. Don’t even sweat that, okay? It’s my mind-parts worming their way into your synaptic cores. They’ll be done soon, and when they’re gone, you’ll have the latest edition of Variant Covers in your mushy grey matter. The column that blathers on, and on, and on in verbose unedited prose about the comic books I’m interested in this week.

—-

Action Comics #898.
Are you still being an asshole, or are you reading this comic book yet? This title is the thunder. The culmination of a talented writer, a gorgeous penciler, and the desire to tell a hilarious, absurd storyline. In the past few months, Luthor has shot the shit with Death, gotten into a philosophical debate with the Joker, and beaten some serious ass. It’s a hodgepodge of wit sexy panels. I dismissed it at first because I’m a dismissive douchebag who thought that sticking Luthor in his own titles just didn’t make sense. Was a money grab. All of that has been thrown to the wind, cast aside like autumn leaves. This week Luthor is going to run into Larfleeze, and I imagine the alien avarice motherfucker and him are going to engage in yet another bizarre encounter. Cornell just wants to trot Luthor into the path of one prominent DC character after the next. I’m down with that.

—-

Shit I Should Be Reading: Scalped #46, Morning Glories #7.
There’s a good amount of comic books currently running that I’m not up to date with. Call it a function of having to read floaty bullshit about paratexts in the influence of meaning on a copy of DeFoe’s Robinson Crusoe. I’m not frontin’, I’m awash in that gunk. So time is limited. Whenever the schooling gods smile upon me, I hope to begin to read Scalped. Everything I’ve heard about it informs me that a) it’s fucking awesome and b) that I’m a choad-stuffed choad for having not gotten around to it yet.

Then there’s Morning Glories. I’ve heard almost exclusively awesome things about the title, save for the inestimably rageful description of it as “LOST” meets Zac Efron’s dance moves. Sir Rager is probably correct, but it didn’t stop me from whoring out $10 for the first trade last week. It sits amongst a bunch of other trades, waiting for me to crack their spine and eat their souls.

But for those in the what, Morning Glories #7 comes out this week. For many I assume it gets their glands flowing with blood and vigor.

—-

Animated All-Star Superman.
I know you’re asking, what the fuck is an animated movie doing in a comic book column. Well, I’ll tell you, inquiring lads and lasses. It’s a scientific fact that All-Star Superman is the greatest Superman of the last forever. And while I haven’t been able to personally confirm it, a good amount of websites are commenting that the transition from panel and text to celluloid has gone flawlessly. This is the story that a thousand Morrison bonerbots (hi!) splooged over, only animated.

I didn’t pay attention to the first three-thousand glowing articles about it, but eventually it overwhelmed me. My forcefield eroded, I was helpless to its allure.

Keep Reading »

In a daring move, I’m pretty sure that Exit Through The Gift Shop was my favorite movies of all the bullshit I caught last year. See that qualifier? Good. I enjoyed its dissection of what happens when the underground is embraced, and then commodified by mainstream culture. Street art went from a subversive means of getting across ideas, or just drawing shit, and became a popculture staple. What the fuck is the response to your own success? At the epicenter of this conversation was the documentary’s star, Thierry Guetta or  Mr. Brainwash. He was the point made literal; the bastard who bastardized Banksy’s motives and shoved it down the gullible masses’ throat.

But the question’s always been, is Brainwash even fucking real?

Dude to talked this week The Envelope, and Slashfilm has wrestled out some interesting nuggets.
Keep Reading »