Titan’s Orbit Proves It Has A Giant Ocean Underneath It’s Surface? Gnarly!
Scientific Astronomical Gurus have done some wizardy science crunching and come to a tenuous and probably incorrect but awesome conclusion: Saturn’s moon, Titan, has a giant ass ocean underneath its surface.
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Sega Announces ‘Sonic Generations’. Money Says Letdown.
Sega’s announced their next Sonic game that will at first get you excited, and then ultimately let you down, ‘Sonic Generations.’ The pig is celebrating the 20th anniversary of Sonic, and it’s going to be a hybrid of old school gameplay and the more modern Sonic Adventure type bullshit.
Hit the jump for details, as well as the first gameplay video.
Winter Done Come: Game of Thrones Review
For those who are unfamiliar with George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Fire and Ice series, I can see how the first episode of HBO’s Game of Thrones could be disorientating. You’re being introduced to a lot of characters and hierarchy in just a short hour. But for fans of the series, I think the consensus is that they knocked it out of the park – even improving on some of Martin’s tedious exposition. I got into the series not too long ago and it’s one helluve ride. Thrones, the first book in the series, is essentially a sword and sandal soap opera that is more about political intrigue and power plays than clashing steel.
Images & Words – Butcher Baker and Casanova!
[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]
It’s not usually a struggle for me to pick my favorite comic of the week. More often than not, a single funnybook will stand out, whether because of an incredible story, moving visuals, or some other quality. But on more fortuitous weeks, I’ll be presented the wonderful dilemma of having multiple candidates in my stack o’ panels. This is one such week.
And since both contestants are so damn appealing, I’m going to give both of them the grand prize! Open the vault, Seymour, these two are both going to spend a fabulous week at Images & Words! See, isn’t it great when one’s success isn’t defined by some other sap’s failure?! Ta-dah! Pop the champagne and slap a stripper’s ass! Huzzah!
Butcher Baker: The Righteous Maker #2 and Casanova: Gula IV are both phenomenal books and you should buy them. As soon as possible, dingbat! Don’t sit on your ass! Oh, what’s that, you want to know why they’re worth your hard(ly) earned cash?
Okay then, follow me into a diatribe that looks like that kooky cave on Dagobah….
Nic Cage Arrested For Domestic Abuse…? By Odin’s Beard!
Here at Omega Level, we’re pretty hard on the genius of Nic Cage. Everyone who frequents this Den of Horrors knows this. That’s why when news broke today that Nic Cage had been arrested for domestic abuse, more than three Omegalytes brought the news to my attention.
Shock and awe. And disappointment.
Two New ‘X-Men: First Class’ Cast Photos!
The newest issue of Total Film drops two new X-Men: First Class cast photos. This 1960’s swag mixed with Marvel’s mutants has me excited.
Nestor Carbonell Returning For ‘The Dark Knight Rises’, Alpert Lives!
It appears that Nestor Carbonell is returning to Gotham in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’, reprising his role as the Mayor.
Rumor: Wii 2 Has A Touchscreen Controller, Codenamed ‘Project Cafe.’
When it rains Nintendo Wii 2 rumors, it fucking pours. After yesterday’s news that the console is going to be revealed at or before E3, today we get a new crop of rumors. Most interesting is that the controller is going to up the ante in douchebag gimmicky nonsense.
Press Start!: Young Girls, Seedy Motels, and Court Cases.
Welcome to Press Start! The column where I jot down five things that caught my eye in the world of gaming this week. Poor edited!, check. Zero revisions!, check. Cobbled together on a couple of wings, a prayer, and ridiculous amounts of caffeine in the early hours of the morning.
I encourage all dorks and dinks and nerds and nincompoopto contribute what they dug this week.
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#1: Grand Theft Auto Gives You Extra Points For Killing Kids!
Oh fuck son! I’ve been playing Grand Theft Auto wrong for nearly ten fucking years. Longer than that if you take into account the first two top-down games. Yeah! Yeah, yeah! All these years I’ve been playing and I’ve never been aware that you get more points for killing children and old fuckers.
This nonsense stems out of a tragedy that went down last Thursday in Brazil. Wellington Menezes de Oliveira “opened up fire at a school in Rio de Janeiro killing 12 pupils and injuring 13 others, aged between 12- and 14-years-old.” Not cool, at all.
Quite obviously.
Unfortunately spinsters vomit up bullshit, seizing any opportunity to massage their own importance glands through hyperbole and sensationalism. Two days later in O Globo, one of the biggest newspapers in Brazil, ran an article which didn’t have time for things like fact checking. It claimed that Oliveira played games like Counterstrike and Grand Theft Auto where “you score more points for killing women, children and old people.”
News to me! Fucking news to me.
Remember kids, no tragedy is ever so saddening you can’t use it to churn up slop, or pen the same old tired media nonsense.
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#2) Creator of the Video Game Cartridge Passes Away.
Jerry Lawson. His name was Jerry Lawson! Lawson was the creator of the video game cartridge, and this week the good sir went and tripped the light fantastic. It never even occurred to my dumb ass that the cartridge was something forged by man. I always fancied it some sort of platonic ideal, derived from the Other Realm, where unicorns and Justice can cavort about together.
No sir, we made it. Well, Lawson and his group of pioneers over at Fairchild Semiconductor. With that cartridge, he no doubt helped craft the childhood of many a million of dorks. Like you and me. Sitting here, in this gaming column, communicating via news born out of an industry of cartridges.
More than just what they housed, the physical cartridge was a staple of my childhood. Good god damn how many times did I go blue in my face blowing in them. Stacking those sons a bitches up. Flipping them to friends at lunch.
The cartridge. Staple of a childhood baked in dorkey, roasted in the fires of nerdiness.
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#3) Sony and Geohot Settle Out of Court.
It’s finally fucking over. Geohot, the dorkiest wanna-be hard ass in the gaming community settled with Sony out of court this week. You may remember Geohot as the dude who outed the PlayStation 3’s root key. Then he wrote an awful rap telling Sony to come and get him. They obliged, sending their lawyers, Death Stars, and various underlings after his ass.
At that point, he may have fled to South America, or gone there for Spring Break. Depending on whose story you believe.
All of that is over now, as the Totally Believing In Something Kid no longer wants to deal with a court battle with An Enormous Corporation State. Go figure! How quickly one’s ideology wilts in the face of a armada of litigation or whatever other more appropriate legal word I should be using.
Well, that’s that.
HBO To Adapt Neil Gaiman’s ‘American Gods’? Please Yes.
If you haven’t read Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, you need to get the fuck on it. If you have read it, and you’ve made your peace with our insatiable urge to adapt everything, this may be good news. If the novel is going to get adapted, there’s much worse ways than with HBO helming a television version.
