Steven Spielberg’s War Horse Has a Beautiful New Trailer
Steven Spielberg is a master filmmaker. At times, he is also an erratic one. Not in terms of quality (which, on the whole, is consistently good to great), but in terms of output. For most years, when he isn’t producing up a storm and making bundles of money off of the movies, he pumps out about one film every year or two. But then, every so often, he ends up taking a break from directing before bursting back onto the scene with two movies together–and both are usually very different, in terms of commercial and Oscar-gold potential. In 93, he came out firing with an absurd (and absurdly great) combo: Jurassic Park and Schindler’s List. In 97 (after a few years off after the aforementioned combo), he gave the world a sequel to the dino-spectacular, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, and Amistad, a movie chronicling the legendary slave rebellion and Supreme Court case. 2002 brought us Minority Report and Catch Me If You Can (though this duo muddies the water a bit because both are pretty damn commercial.) Then in 2005, he nearly obliterated the human race with War of the Worlds before turning his eye towards the Israeli-Palestinian conflict in Munich.
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Fear Fest: Apophis!
OCTOBER 4th, Apophis
“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.”
-Dave Barry
Hello again, the Dude here dishing some wisdom out for free. So, stop what you’re doing, minimize that porn site you have open, you can leave the sound on, it will add ambiance, and stay a while.
Today we’re going off planet to discover a fear. Apophis. Now, if you don’t know what that is, I’m sure you will in 20 to 30 years. My goal is to get you digging your fallout shelter today. Apophis is a near-Earth asteroid that was discovered in 2004 and got as high as level 4 on the Torino Impact scale. Now, I’m not a scientician, so when I say we’re all going to die, you may want to pause and consider researching it for yourself. I can give you the numbers. Apophis is 350 meters in diameter (1,150ft). So just imagine a rock the size of the Eiffel Tower breaking us like a cue ball.
Kinect Parental Controls Could Automatically Decide What You Watch. By Your Body Size.
Grown ass people who are vertically challenged could be in for a bit of a snafu if a patent Microsoft filed ever comes to fruition. Parental controls determined by your body dimensions? I see. I see.
Monday Morning Commute: Dyin’ to Sleep
Come one, come all! Step right up to the original MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the place where all of you scabby bastards and frothing broads take a peek at what I’ll be doing to get through the workweek. Your task is to then share the activities to which you’ll be dedicating your free time, even if they make your step-mom mumble to herself that you’re doing the Devil’s bizznezz.
Hell, that hoe married your pop for his thickee, so who is she to cast aspersions?
Let’s dance.
Saturn’s Rings Cast Sexy Halo Atop His Head.
(Click image to enlarge. Via.)
Check out this picture of Saturn and its rings as captured by Cassini. Man, that Cassini is legit. So many delicious pictures. Anyways, did you know you can measure the passage of time on Saturn by the shadows its rings cast? I didn’t either.
OCTOBERFEAST – The Masque of the Red Death
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
Edgar Allan Poe is perhaps the most celebrated madman in all of American literature. When he wasn’t drinking himself into a stupor or bedding his thirteen year old cousin-bride or snorting blow off of cadaver asses, Poe spent his time setting the precedents for what would become the modern horror genre. Oh, and he also invented the detective story.
It was a pretty solid life for a guy whose last days on Earth consisted of being found wandering Baltimore in someone else’s clothes while crying out for some mystery figure named “Reynolds.” Perhaps if this Reynolds had revealed himself, Poe wouldn’t have collapsed into a death-coma. But then again, perhaps the legend of Poe wouldn’t be quite so epic without a hazy opium-cloud of a demise.
Of all his works, The Masque of the Red Death may be Poe’s most explicit acknowledgment that his reckless ways would lead to a tragic demise.
Image Comics Goes Same Day Digital With Graphic.ly And ComiXology. It Continues.
Let me tell you something. I can’t fucking find a copy of Red Wing #3. Because comic book stores suck my ass! Naw, I love them. I really do. But I can’t find a third issue of Hickman’s space-time-continuum-fucking opus anywhere. Soon when I can’t pull this off, I’m just going to fucking download it onto an iPad. Same day.
Paramount and New Regency To Finance Aronofsky’s $150 Million Epic ‘Noah’. Holy Moses!
I’m pretty excited for Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, which has been in development for a bit now. Finally!, finally they’ve made their securement (is that a word? I think it is, nothing is coming up.) of funds official. Paramount and New Regency, come on down!
Seven High Resolution Photos Of ‘The Avengers’? Oh Hades Yeah.
Want seven high resolution photos of ‘The Avengers’? Of course you do. Or don’t. Maybe you’re keeping yourself pure. As if! Well anyways. If you want them, they’re behind the jump.
Go on.
Video: Crawling Robot Baby Is Thing Of Nightmares.
Check out iCub. That of your nightmares. A crawling robo-baby with a giant umbilical cord that is powering it. It shall power it whilst it clutches your wind pipe, mashing you into messy meat sack goop. Mark my words. We are already building the Cylons their synthetic bodies. Goodness.
Hit the jump to check out the horror.
