Behold! ‘Diablo III’ Ultimate Edition. Devil-Red Priapism.
I’m certain that we’ll have shit loads of Diablo 3/WoW news coming out of Blizzcon this weekend, but for now throw this into your loins and rub it around. A couple of cruddy looking pictures of Diablo III’s Ultimate Edition. Which I’m going to be buying. Oh yes. Buying it, I shall be.
Hit the jump to check them out.
1 Comment »
Final ‘Fantastic Four #600’ Teaser Has The Future Looking Grim. And Sexy.
Jonathan Hickman is obsessed with the future, the past, and most of the time the malleable construct of time that “separates” them. It’s in all his works. It makes sense that it would continue in Fantastic Four #600, the title having dealt with the concept already. Marvel’s dropped a double-preview for FF #16 and Fantastic Four #600 which features sexy artwork and an amazingly Hickmanian tagline.
I love it.
Fear Fest: Testicular Torsion. The Great Twists Of Doom.
OCTOBER 21st, Testicular Torsion
“I don’t know what I did!! Suddenly it just felt like someone kicked me in the rocks, and- and they never took their foot away!”
-Dean Venture
For the past three weeks we’ve discussed wide spread fears. Today we tackle my greatest fear. Ladies, I’m sorry to say that you won’t identify with this particular fear, but gents, your lives may change forever.
It was October 21st, 2007, 4 years ago to the day. I was getting in the shower with the intention of heading to work. As I was in the shower, I felt a slight twinge in groin region. That sleight pain grew into an explosion of pain. My vision went dark and I doubled over in agony. My brain raced from thought to thought. Time slowed down as I tried to reason out what had just happened to me. Sifting through Simpson quotes, quantum mechanics, advanced algebra, and baseball stats, my brain finally came up with the answer. Testicular torsion.
Marvel Cuts Staff From Editoral, Production, and Digital Staff To Cut Costs. Frown.
Marvel laid off a bunch of employees yesterday in what is being called a cost-cutting measure. G’damn.
‘The Avengers’ Features Scenes Shot On An iPhone. Welcome To The (Cost-Effective) Future.
So it is being said that The Avengers has scenes shot on an iPhone. Some scenes, in fact, which were in the debut trailer recently released. Who is making these bananas claims? On the Oscar-nominated cinematographer Seamus McGarvey, who is working on the flick.
Press Start!: Link Shows Zelda His Blast Processing, Needs Shotgun Wedding.
This is Press Start! A column where I generally go ‘blah blah blah video games Top 5’ for 800+ words or so. Generally longer. Generally unedited. Today I’m tired as fuck and the room is spinning and the voices are encouraging me towards knives, so instead I’m going to cop-out and just post the dope gaming videos I came across this week. If you don’t like them, feel free to hit the comments box with your own video game happenings of the week. You swine.
Marvel’s ‘The Punisher’ Is Going To Be A TV Show? Mythos Rewrite A-Go-Go.
Frank Castle is a guy who has never crushed it in movie form. Maybe he’ll receive some sort of filmic redemption once his story is told on television. But if he does, it’ll be through a strongly different story.
OCTOBERFEAST – Freddy Krueger
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
Today’s OCTOBERFEAST guest is a man whose reputation precedes him, creatively murdering people for the past twenty-seven years. When this dude targets you, he infiltrates your dream, exploits your fears, and then commits horrendous acts of barbarism. Also, he wears a sweet Christmas sweater and is responsible for some of the horror genre’s most hilarious one-liners of all-time.
The homicidal dream-slasher in question is, of course, the one and only Freddy Krueger.
As a villain five times in the 1980s, twice in the 1990s, and twice in the post-millennium, many consider Krueger to be an exemplar for slasher-flick murderers who has stood the test of time. After all, what’s more horrifying than the notion that our dreams – the venues we use to play out hopes and dreams and unspoken fantasies – can become the grounds of our gruesome demises?
Krueger’s deeds speak for themselves. So hit the jump and check out some of the handiwork of Elm Street’s most malignant spirit.
Video: ‘Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception’ Launch Trailer. This Game Makes My Balls Hurt.
This is the launch trailer for Uncharted 3. There’s a good chance this is the best game of all time. Hyperbole? Probably. Do I (momentarily) believe the possibility? Fuck yes.
Hit the jump for the trailer.
Bryan Singer’s ‘Battlestar’ Movie To Be Written by John Orloff. This Is Happening, I Hate Everything.
Bryan Singer’s fucking Battlestar movie is really really coming, and it’s giving me an anxiety attack that I can’t really corral. It isn’t so much that BSG is getting redone, it’s that frankly fuck Singer and this Orloff guy I don’t care if he wrote Band of Brothers. I don’t care that I just shit all over syntax.
