If there’s one thing I was certain about when I was a young kid gaming it up back in the day it was this: that advertisers were obviously pretty smart people who had my best intentions in mind. They saw me, they knew it. I had these guys and gals over at Marketing Place 101 to thank for my awareness of all the latest and greatest in the 16-bit era. It was a pretty simple relationship. Through various devices they’d transmit the objects I absolutely needed  to have. Commercials with lots of yelling? Fuck yeah! Magazine advertisements with convincing arguments. Why yes, Atari Jaguar. Yes. 16 x 4 does indeed equal 64. You win, you win the round. I’d proceed to roll around on the floor tear-soaked and tell my parents I couldn’t possibly, at all, hope to ever, ever, be a real gamer if I wasn’t blast-processing on my Sega Genesis-CD-32X.

Weren’t they good parents?

Didn’t they understand?

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If you let it, BioShock Infinite will solemnly swear to whup your ass. Ken Levine has revealed that the forthcoming title is going to include a more difficult “1999 Mode”, taking the gamer back to a time when us gaming folks had to walk up hills both ways to get to a fucking INK RIBBON SAVE POINT and dungeon bosses openly bare-assed farted on our tits just because they could. The good old days.

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Here’s the final poster for The Hunger Games. Jennifer Lawrence. The things. The things she does to my more pinkish bits, yo. Ain’t healthy.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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While everyone was totally Facebooking and Tweeting about SOPA in the past couple of weeks, its mutated Deliverance-esque brother bill was making its way through the Senate. However, there’s good news. A vote on the bill was postponed thanks to recent blatherings about rights and such by people and annoyances everywhere.

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Check it out!, solarians. I made that word up. Means you like..solars? Solar systemarians? Something like that. Anyways – whoever (whomever? fuck me here) you are – hit the jump for the first footage of a comet rocketing into the Sun. Or of Superman collecting some cellular oomph! before he goes to throw down with Metallo. I’m preferring the latter.

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A Fox affiliate has come out swinging over the totally tit-sational blood bath universe of DC comic books after its relaunch or something. Well uh, what the fuck. This has been a problem in comic books for….ever. Forever.

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Anonymous was a little  bit cheesed about the U.S. Justice Department taking down popular website Megaupload.com the day after the internet went somewhere near dark to protest SOPA. In response they dropped the hammer on a considerable amount of impressively high-target websites.

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Want to see a picture of Katniss in her totally tantalizing and sexualized Fire Dress from The Hunger Games that is supposed to arouse while simultaneously being a bit creepy because she’s like 16 or whatever?

Hit the jump.

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Holy balls. 2012 just got doper in the gaming circuit. Resident Evil Fucking 6, starring Leon *and* Chris? Holy shit. This is straight-up Rocky 3 wet-dream time. I can’t only hope it’s as homoerotic.

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How inter(stellar) is this? While not the first time it occurred, chunks of Mars crashed in Africa last year. Providing us with delicious samples to extract obvious signs of life from. Muahahaha! Or they’ve launched a virus or multiple virii intent on taking us over. Infiltrating our science labs via single-celled organisms and…and…

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