Last Week on The Walking Dead – Nebraska
Shit rolls downhill at OL. So being the new guy, not only am I relegated to writing pompous, over-worded book reports about Kenny Powers & friends, but now I’ve also been tasked with summing up new episodes AMC’s The Walking Dead. Since the show is literally schmeared in bullshit and really loud, repetitive commercials. I thought I might do everyone a favor and reenact what REALLY happened, without the agonizing tender moments that encompass 95% of the show. What’s left is my boyish take on a show that seems like it was intentionally made to drive me crazy.
Enjoy. Or don’t. Whatever.
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One Of Humanity’s Earliest Drawing Included Enormous Dong. Figures.
This shouldn’t be a spoiler alert for anyone who has spent a good amount of observing human history. We’ve always loved our dongs and she-dongs (internal dialogue, why is it a she-dong and not a he-vag you normalizing pig?). The proof is in the pudding. Or at least our ancient drawings.
Buckle Up, Pussies. It’s the U.S. Trailer for THE RAID
One movie I’ve been hearing heaps of ridiculously positive buzz about for a year now is Gareth Huw Evans’ The Raid out of Indonesia. Everyone I know who has seen it had their faces blown off by it and I cannot wait until it’s gets a wide release later this year.
FYI: Evans’ previous Indonesian action flick Merantau is now available on Netflix Watch Instantly.
California’s Failed Attempt At Video Game Censorship Cost The State $2 Million.
You know what’s up. You followed the case last year. The one where California was trying to drop a hammer on video games and thereby a whole gauntlet of other mediums. The one they lost. California’s failed attempt wasn’t without its cost. In fact it’s costing the Soon To Be Below Sea-Level Residence a cool couple million.
Video: ‘Mad Men’ Season 5 Gets A Handful Of Sexy Teaser Trailers.
It’s been goddamn forever since Mad Men concluded its fourth season, but it’s about to come roaring back. The fifth season is dropping March 25, and to prep the land for its upcoming arrival AMC has released a bunch of teaser trailers. Can’t wait for a return to the meditation on the American Nightmare.
Cosplay: Princess Leia And Stormtrooper As Zombies. It’s A Metaphor.
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Princess Leia and a Stormtrooper are getting their rot on. A clear (clear!) metaphor for the amount of times Lucas has dug up the corpse of Star Wars only to reanimate it before fucking it to death again. Under his fat flabby fingers of manipulation and doom.
Views From The Space-Ship: It’s Not A Binge, It’s A God Damn Addiction!
Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays is a (theoretically) weekly column where I show you my worlds. Share your own in the comments section!
Video: 16-Bit ‘Legend of Zelda’ PC Case Brought To Life.
Richard “8-Bit Builder” Clinton is a mad wizard when it comes to video game inspired PC cases. His latest masterpiece is a triforcefully (groan, I know) awesome 16-bit Legend of Zelda work of awesome.
Hit the jump to watch it come together.
THIS WEEK ON Justified: When the Guns Come Out
Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Two hookers try to get oxy from a crooked doctor. The doctor only wants to part with a little, so the hookers try to use his “little part” to get a bigger share. Then, out of the blue Tanner pops in a kills all but one of the hookers. I know, the joke starts out strong but falls apart during the punch line. However, this shit is Justified, where we can always go for quality stories.
‘Spartacus’ Star Jai Courtney Is John McClane’s Son In ‘A Good Day To Die Hard’. I See.
Oh shit! I totally forgot that there’s a new Die Hard in the works. Well, there is, and John McClane’s son has finally been cast. It isn’t Aaron Paul. Bummer time.
