I just don’t…I just can’t….give a fuck about Guardians of the Galaxy. I just don’t get it, either. It isn’t that I condemn the entire concept of the franchise. That isn’t it at all. What is boggling my mind is why Marvel is thinking that this is going to be such icy hotness. The next part of their monolithic movie empire.

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The Mass Effect 3: Unfucked Ending Edition was pretty fucking disappointing. I didn’t expect much, and that’s exactly what I was given. Now that the ending to one of my favorite franchises has been left indubitably awash in a sea of rotting ass, I’m not so certain I’m excited for any sort of DLC. Yet I’ll buy it. Of course I will.

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This is pretty fucking rocking. As anyone who has ever listened to the sagacious mewing of Les Claypool knows, Hell is spelled D-M-V.  The peoples of Tennessee are aware of this, and in an effort to cut down on the fire and brimstone in their pockets of the Underworld, they have installed iPads. Cyeah!

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…okay so I couldn’t help but gloom onto a little thing is this glorious international trailer for Looper. There’s a quickly passing scene where a billboard advertises some sort of product giving you telekinesis. It’s the little, the minute, that’ll populate and build this world I can’t help to experience. Can’t wait.

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The biggest problem with Dexter the past couple of years has been that nothing has fucking happened. Agreed, the lack of John Lithgow’s glorious bare butthole has also been a drag, but its the lack of progress that has submarined it for me. Perchance, we can worry no longer! The producers of Dexter are totally confirming its totally ending come season 8, and they know where the story is going.

Good.

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To be perfectly clear: I don’t expect this to mean anything, I just find the speculation fun.

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It’s been a long week. I’ve needed this. A lot.

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I hadn’t heard about this movie until today. Now I want to see it.

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As I’ve said ad nauseam lately, Image has been firing on all cylinders. One of the reasons for their righteous domination is their focus on the fucking creators. DC seems to have taken notice of Image and its bustling stable of marketable creators,  ninjaing the idea of marketing the creators themselves. Shit, even the aesthetic is redolent of the Image campaign.

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I’m glad this is going up in between lunch and dinner.  I have enough time to make you sad at what you had for lunch, but give you enough time to change your dinner plans.  I’ve been wanting to do this one for a while now, so here goes.  Do you ever wonder what your last meal will be?  I do.  Be it the last meal before I am executed for the public and brutal execution of Michael Bay, passing away in the night at the age of 90, or trading in this fleshy meat bag for a robot body that no longer need food.  So if my last meal was any of these, I’d be happy.

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