#Video Games
Blizzard Announces ‘Overwatch’ Has More Than 25 Million Players
Man. Overwatch is popular. Like, way fucking popular. I should play Overwatch. But I have anxiety problems, and the sheer amount of heroes intimidates me.
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‘Mass Effect: Andromeda’ Cinematic Trailer: Meet The Villain
Fuck. Mass Effect: Andromeda is coming. Fuck! Fuck yes.
New ‘Prey’ Trailer: Bethesda’s Space Horror Drops May 5
Fuck, I want Prey. It looks like my much wanted follow-up to Dead Space, Half-Life 2, and BioShock. Simultaneously. Now, I know when I’ll be getting to play it. May 5.
Watch: ‘Super Mario Odyssey’ In ‘Grand Theft Auto’ Is The Nightmare You’d Expect
Seeing Mario run around vaguely realistic humans in Super Mario Odyssey was already a nightmare. So, why not double down and imagine this ill-fitting juxtaposition in Grand Theft Auto 4? There is no reason, I say! No reason!
‘Mario Kart 8 Deluxe’ Dropping On Nintendo Switch In April
Want some Mario Kart 8 on your Nintendo Switch? This April, you’re in fucking luck! But you better be prepared to either a) play it alone or b) holy fucking shit pay an insane amount for a second controller.
‘Zelda: Breath Of The Wild’ Trailer: Nintendo’s System Seller Drops On Launch Day
Man. This game looks fucking gorgeous and it’s dropping on launch day for the Nintendo Switch. I think I’m going to be waiting a while to play it though, seeing as to how I went to bed as opposed to waiting to reserve a copy of the console on Amazon or some shit. But. Man. Gorgeous.
‘Super Mario Odyssey’ Trailer: A Sandbox Romp For The Plumber
Super Mario Odyssey has got a lot of dope stuff going on, in its trailer. Typical 3D Mario gameplay, wonderful music. It’s also got a lot of uh, weird stuff, going on. Like, seeing Mario interact with “realistic” humans, “realistic” humans who look like 1993 CGI nightmares makes me really uncomfortable. But, but uh, I’m still excited for this game.
Microsoft Confirms ‘Scalebound’ Cancellation
Man, fuck! I was sweating Platinum Games’ next title, Scalebound. Well, lo and behold I’ll be sweating the fucking title for Eternity. Why? The son of a bitch has been cancelled.
‘Mass Effect: Andromeda’ Gameplay Footage: A Galaxy’s Worth Of Surprises
Oh man. Oh man, oh man! Not only did we get a release date for Mass Effect: Andromeda yesterday. We were also gifted some gameplay footage. Which, I will tell you, I didn’t watch. I want to go into this fucking game fresh. F-r-e-s-h!
