#Video Games
‘L.A. Noire’ remaster dropping on PS4, XB1, and Switch. Yeah great, where is my ‘Red Dead’ remaster already?
Listen. I’ll admit that I fucked up when I didn’t play Red Dead Redemption when it first dropped. So now that I want to play it, the graphics look dated, and that’s on me. But if Rockstar is out here fucking remastering L.A. Noire starring the herb from Mad Men or whatever, they should be fucking remastering Red Dead, as well.
‘Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds’ has sold 10 million copies, including 2 million in the past two weeks. I say, g’damn!
I don’t play PUBG, but that’s only because I don’t have a gaming PC. I do, however, watch a lot of it on Twitch. Which is saying something, because no other game being streamed has ever really caught my attention. Its appeal is the result of being a flagrant Battle Royale/Hunger Games rip-off. However, it’s not just a rip-off (or a wet-tongued homage, if you prefer), it’s also a colossal fucking success.
‘Stardew Valley’ publisher teases their ‘Stardew Valley meets Harry Potter’ game with magical new image
MAGICAL. NEW. IMAGE. A fucking fun pun to end all pun fun. Yee. Haw! I don’t know, I haven’t played Stardew Valley, but I want to. Probably never will, given the current climate of my gaming backlog and the geopolitical sphere. If North Korean nukes don’t prevent me, then having to play through all the titles moaning at me will.
But! This new teaser is cute.
Capcom is Re-Releasing ‘Street Fighter II’ on a SNES cartridge which may or may not catch fire. Fucking talk about YMMV, dude
Capcom is really just slinging their testicles around with this one, friends. They aren’t just re-releasing Street Fighter 2 on a collectible cartridge for $100 (when you can buy it the original for like $8). No ma’am. They’re also casually letting it slip that, hey, it’s just a collectible and it may fucking catch on fire if you actually play it.
Bro, I’m fucking serious.
‘Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes’ Trailer: Suda51 Brings His Brand Of Crazy To Switch
We are getting a fucking No More Heroes title on Switch? This console, man.
Bethesda may be making ‘Game of Thrones’ game, according to Target leak
Well then. Apparently, if a fuck-up at some assuredly demolished and buried Target is to be trusted, Bethesda is making a Game of Thrones game. I’m sure I’ll play it, if it exists, and jack off to it like the sloven I am, if it exists, but still. I would much prefer Bethesda gets releasing with their rumored science-fiction title that’s allegedly in the vein of Skyrim and Fallout.
‘Half-Life’ writer posts what maybe/probably was the ‘Episode 3’ plot
A former Half-Life writer has dropped what maybe/probably/is certainly the plot for the seemingly abandoned Half-Life 2: Episode 3. Me? This guy? I couldn’t bring myself to read it, cuts too deep, man.
Cyberpunk shooter ‘Ruiner’ drops September 26 on Consoles and PC. Good cyberpunk foreplay before ‘Blade Runner 2049’, imo
This Autumn seems to be the Autumn of Cyberpunk, for yours truly. We got Ruiner on September 26. We got Blade Runner 2049 like ten days later. It’s a nice way to spend Autumn, in my opinion.
‘Crackdown 3’ delayed until 2018, killing Microsoft’s top reason to buy an Xbox One X
I’m going to buy an Xbox One X at launch because a) I’m a fucking consumer whore and b) I don’t have an Xbox One. However, Microsoft was presenting Crackdown 3 as a prime reason to buy it for those folks on the fence, or who were needing to be persuaded. Well, now that fucking title ain’t coming out anytime around the XBOX launch.
