#Video Games
The Riddler Is All Up In Batman: Arkham City.
The Riddler isn’t just some sidegame in Arkham City like he was in the first Batman game by Rocksteady Studios. No sir. According to Destructoid, The Riddler won’t be “just be taunting Batman this time around, but would have a physical presence in the world of Arkham City.”
Outstanding.
Hit the jump for a few new images of Mr. Nygma and Bats.
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DEFEAT. 025 – Golden Years
[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction. Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]
“So you really don’t think that the newest one is any good?”
“Listen, I didn’t say it’s not good!”
“Well, you kinda did when–”
“Damn it, 8-Bit! You always do this! You take something I say and then you spin it so that the meaning is completely different!” Riff was exasperated, partly because his friend was busting his balls and partly because he had failed to adequately express himself.
8-Bit removed his glasses, inspecting the lenses for grime. He held them up to GameWorld’s neon sign, which shone brighter than ever against the black night sky. It’s a strange thought — the clearest messages appear when the least number of people are around to receive them. Doesn’t matter, though. Most people don’t even heed the warnings they actually pick up on. But then again, there’s always one or two that do.
The nine brilliant letters cut their way through the blackness, helping the nerd clean his spectacles. Even as they got smaller during the walk home, the characters of GameWorld’s sign would forever read like a beacon of comfort to 8-Bit.
With vision regained, the dialogue continued. “Ok, let me get this straight. You said, and I quote, ‘Why the fuck would they use synthesizers? The damn things ruin the album!’ What was I supposed to take from that?”
Riff paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to undermine his friend’s well-crafted strategy. “Well…Are you sure I said that?”
“I’m positive.”
“I don’t know. It’d been about an hour since you had to feed the BurgerTime machine a quarter, and I’m not sure your attention was completely dedicated to my musical analysis.” Riff knew his argument was nothing other than a bluff.
8-Bit turned around, looking back the sign that was now a mere neon blur. He had spent the better part of the evening at the arcade and would still be there now had the manager not politely asked him to “Get the fuck outta here kid! I know you’ll be back tomorrow! The machines ain’t going nowhere!” 8-Bit couldn’t fend off Riff’s argument; after all, he had slipped into a state of nirvana, a period ensconced in tranquility, while gaming.
Levelheaded, he offered his counterpart the benefit of the doubt, “All right, maybe I misheard you. What did you say?”
Riff scrambled. “Well, what I had said was that I’m not sure exactly how I feel about the synthesizers in Somewhere in Time. I mean, the record’s been out for almost a month and I still don’t know just how much I like it. Which is fucked up, because it’s Iron Maiden!”
BioWare Caught Reviewing Dragon Age 2. Well, That’s One Way To High Scores.
Despite its flaws, I like me some Dragon Age 2. It’s repetitive, there’s like four locations, and fetch quests rule the day. Wait, I think that may all fall under repetitive. Shit. Shitfuck. When even Dragon Age 2 apologists like myself have some serious complaints, a company must do something. Developer Chris Hoban has done just that, taking to Metacritic to review the game. With a 10/10.
Current Donkey Kong Champion Gets His Own Documentary: Doctor Kong.
Look at this fucking interloper! Not only has plastic surgeon Hank Chien wrested the title away from Billy Mitchell and Steve Wiebe’s eternal ballet of death, now the dude is getting his own documentary. Directed by Alexis Neophytides, Doctor Kong: Cutting Up the Competition has already screened in Brooklyn with more viewings opening up later this month.
Hit the jump for the trailer.
Batman: Arkham City Official Gameplay Trailer Drops. Goodness Me.
The official gameplay trailer for Arkham City dropped today, and I’m filling my Batsuit with muck. It’s all the awesomeness I expected, complimented by some sweet bullshit on the side. The portions with Batman flying through the night evading gun fire and swooping down to the ground weren’t something I was expecting, and they generated some serious torque in my crotchal region.
Hit the jump for the video.
BioWare Hints At New Mass Effect 2 ‘Arrival’ DLC With Images On Facebook.
Only on Omega Level will you find an asshole blathering gibberish about Mass Effect 2 when a single screenshot hints at not a new game, but more DLC. But that’s what I’m doing. Fuck you! Remember that ME2 DLC, ‘Arrival’ that was hinted at in a patch or whatever? Today BioWare posted a picture on their Facebook with the overt hint, “New Mass Effect 2 screenshots have Arrived.” Hey, I get it, arrived! Like Arrival.
But still. I’m freaking out. I have an unhealthy obsession with the franchise.
Hit the jump for the picture.
Super Mario Bros: The Indie Movie Is Star Level.
Apparently at SXSW and other film festivals they have a bunch of “bumper” films. Minifilms that precede the screenings. Didn’t know that. Now I do. One of them showing at SXSW is “Mario” by Joe Nicolosi. Nicolosi works in a shitload of outstanding references in the framework of a trailer for an indie film version of Mario. Go ahead and watch it, you’re going to love it.
You dirty little slut.
Hit the jump for the video.
Here’s Some Batman: Arkham City Concept Art. Insert Pun.
You hankering for some Batman: Arkham City? Here’s some gorgeous concept art to hold you over.
Prof. Uses Kinect To Aid In $4 Mil. Research Into Mental Disorders.
Goddamn, Kinect is fucking everywhere. I love how it’s been co-opted by countless people with unique ideas that have nothing to do with kicking an invisible volleyball. I change my mind, Kinect doesn’t suck. It’s actually fucking awesome. Latest example? It’s been used to cut down the cost of research into childhood mental disorders.
David Jaffe Disses Media For Wanking Off Artsy Games. Yes.
David Jaffe shoots from the hip, and that hip looks a lot like my heart. Last year, I was a bit confused as to why so many people were wanking off, splooging over, and generally orgasming on the face of the XBLA title Limbo. Frankly, I thought it was a piece of boring minimalist bullshit. Disagree? Well, good for you. Maybe you can still appreciate the hot fire that Jaffe is spitting regarding the media and their love for shitty artsy-fartsy games.
