#Video Games
Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ Goes 8-Bit Adventure Game.
Everything is going 8-Bit. I don’t know if my generation is now hitting some sort of blank-life crisis (well, how long are we going to live? Given modern medicine, something like 400 awful, crusty, wheezing years), but we love turning everything into a muddy amount of colors and some chiptune Nintendo Entertainment System glory. Nostalgia! Oh sweet nostalgia.
Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ has done gone and received an 8-Bit adventure game treatment.
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Bungie Returns To Apple With ‘Bungie Mobile.’ Was Only Matter Of Time.
Bungie used to be total best friends forever with Apple. Then Microsoft made them a deal they couldn’t refuse, sending Steve Jobs into a frenzy. He hit women, ate children. Since then, Bungie created Halo, sat around as Microsoft’s pet, and then last year threw up the deuces and finally went multiplatform. It makes sense now that they’re free, they’ve returned to Apple. In some form.
Press Start!: Voice Commands Are For The Bedroom, Not Video Games.
I absolutely love Chez-Its. Nothing relaxes me more than popping down on the toilet mashing a handful of Chez-Its into my gullet while checking my Tumblr on my iPhone. One of the other things I absolutely love is the use of adverbs. Hemingway fucking hates me. On top of those two pure, unadulterated loves of mine is my unremitting love for video games.
That’s why I write this column. Press Start!, the post where I run down five things that happened in the world of video games this week. I’m covered in Chez-It crumbs and ready to vomit verbose into your eye-mind-mouths.
Let’s party, guys!
BioShock: Infinite Trailer Introduces “Tearsâ€, In Time, Space, and My Boxers.
Just quit, developers. Just do it. Oh, all right. Don’t quit. At the very least, know that you can never blow my asshole out quit like Ken Levine and his games. In a new developer diary, Levine explains how Elizabeth can harness tears in reality to bring in objects from other universes.
Good lord.
Stop reading my vomit, hit the jump and watch.
Mom Accused Of Killing Son After He Breaks TV While Playing ‘Wii.’
This is like one of those goofy ads where the guy throws the Wii remote and breaks the TV. Except it’s real and horrifying and my buzzkill of the day.
PS3 Hacker Going To Jail After He Goes Broke. Crime Doesn’t Pay!
Here’s another hit to George ‘I Totally Believe In Things…Like Plea Bargins’ Hotz’ street credentials. He is walking free these days after cutting a deal with Sony and their Robotic Ninja Deathsquad, while another PS3 hacker is about to serve some time.
Phil Harrison Sees Apple Ruling The Gaming Market. Well, Duh.
Phil Harrison has held impressive positions at Atari and Sony and is now at David ‘Earthworm Jim’ Perry’s cloud gaming service Gankai. Harrison recently commented that he thought that Apple was going to eventually rule the gaming market.
Robin Unveiled As Playable In ‘Batman: Arkham City.’ Via Pre-Order, Blegh.
The pre-order wars continue, scorching the ass of gamers everywhere who just want to be able to buy a game packed with loot. If you pre-ordered Arkham City somewhere other than Best Buy, you may want to reconsider that decision. They got the Robin. The Robin guy. Despite looking like an extreme shaven-head asshole, they got him.
Al Gore Calls Games The “New Normal.”
When a dude discovers climate change, lets himself be robbed of an election, and creates the internet, you listen to him. So pay attention when Should Have Been Emperor Al Gore calls video games the “new normal”, whatever the fuck that means.
Cliff Bleszinski Wants To Be Known For More Than ‘Gears of War.’ Good Luck!
Cliff Bleszinski, aka Dude Huge, aka Cliffy B, is the man behind Gears of War. The third installment is coming out this Fall, and by my economic measurements, it’s going to crush the ass of sales charts everywhere. Despite this, Cliffy wants to be known for more than Gears.
