#Video Games
New BETHESDA game is a SHINJI MIKAMI jam. I’m all about that life!
Well, shit. I certainly didn’t see this coming. It ain’t Fallout 4, and for that I’m going to rope-a-dope by balls with a frozen sirloin steak. It is what must be done. It ain’t the end of the world, though. Shinji Mikami. Bethesda. I’ll take it.
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Woman purchases NINTENDO GAME WORTH $15,000 for a mere $7.99 at Goodwill. Bonusss.
Recently at a Goodwill, a lucky woman purchased what is considered to be the fucking Holy Grail of collectible video games. None other than Stadium Events. She snagged this game for a cool $7.99, beating the typical asking price by like, you know, almost $15,000. Jesus fucking Christ.
Gasp! NEXT XBOX *IS* backwards compatible, always-on NOT REQUIRED?
So…now a source close to the Durango-720-Nextbox is claiming that the next Microsoft console won’t be always-on. And will be backwards compatible! The plot thickens. I have no fucking idea what to believe any more, you?
Watch: BETHESDA TEASER TRAILER…for mystery game.
Bethesda’s website has a six-second teaser for something. I’ll be titty-fucked by a kangaroo before I know what it is for, though.
Watch: ‘GEARS OF WAR’ creator Cliffy B shaves his head for charity. Righteous ++
I like myself some Cliffy B. Despite all the shiznit that I throw Gears of War‘ way, I both respect the franchise and its creator. In fact, since the duder has left the industry on a sabbatical I’ve been eagerly anticipating whatever the fuck he is going to do next. One of the things the good lad has been up to on his siesta is raising money for charity by shaving his dome-piece.
Infinite Praise – Talking About Bioshock Infinite
Without question, Bioshock Infinite has proven itself as incredibly troubling to the novice reviewer (played by myself). It’s not that the game is overwhelmingly challenging, or so perfect that I find it difficult to find fault and give a balanced account, but more that every element has been considered and given such attention: making just about everything worthy of mentioning. It’s an overwhelming game to process, but I’m going to try for you, though, because I fucking adore you. Seriously, you don’t even know.
Next Xbox launching with AT LEAST TWO PRETTY MEH GAMES, ‘RYSE’ and ‘FORZA.’
I know that it is cool to bash the Next-box Durascal 720 around here, if not all around the Internet at the moment. Creative directors making fun of people for not having the Internet, Steve Ballmer choke slamming interns for not shellacking his testicles properly — it’s been a goddamn mess. That said, I’m not particularly sweating the launch titles for the Microsoft TV Manipulator and Potential Game Player, since pretty much every system’s launch titles are snore-worthy.
‘FAR CRY 3: BLOOD DRAGON’ Reveal Trailer: SAUSAGE PANCAKES & CYBER HELL.
Oh, Blood Dragon. You’re directly out of my wettest of neon cyber-dreams. Directly. It is as though someone reached deep into my urethra with honey-fingers and yanked you out.
Microsoft’s CREATIVE DIRECTOR that tweeted ALWAYS-ON HATE is fired.
What a shocker. A Microsoft employee who literally spread his ass cheeks and shat upon potential customers worried about the Durascal 720’s always-on policy has gotten nixed. What a dumb fuck.
‘FALLOUT’ 4 F**KING PLEASE: Bethesda promises to make ‘more noise’ this year.
Bethesda has promised to make “more noise” this year within the gaming world. If this noise doesn’t consist of the drums of war, following the nuclear Armageddon, I’m going to be pissed. I have patiently waited five fucking years. Give me Fallout 4.
