#Video Games
‘Fallout: Shadow of Boston’ trademark revealed [Update: A hoax]
[Update: This is some fuckboy grand mal hoax. May the perpetrators get diarrhea.]
COULD THIS BE? NEXT-GEN FALLOUT SET IN MY HOMETOWN? OH GOD. MY BALLS. MY FLUIDS. THEY…THEY CAN’T STOP ERUPTING. PRAY I SURVIVE THIS FANBOY TORRENT OF SEMINAL JUICES LONG ENOUGH TO PLAY THIS GAME.
No Comments
‘Far Cry 4’ Story Trailer: RIDE ELEPHANTS / RAIN F**KING HELL
OH YOU KNOW I’M GETTING JACKED + PUMPED FOR FAR CRY 4. FUCKING FUCK SHIT UP WHILE RIDING AN ELEPHANT. CRINGE AT EXOTICITZED DEPICTIONS OF OTHER CULTURES. FUCK MORE SHIT UP. STAB TIGERS. EAT THE DUNG OF YOUR FALLEN FOES. YEAHHH.
‘Final Fantasy XV’ Open World Gameplay Demo: Dino-Exploration
Fuck you, Final Fantasy XV. Don’t you be all “quasi-real” with demos suggesting you are actually going to arrive sometime. ‘Cause I get really excited when you do that. Get hyped with me after the cut.
Blizzard: World of Warcraft gonna be around in 2024
Blizzard has come out and said that World of Warcraft is going to be around in 2024. At first it seems sort of ludicrous to think of a ten year-old MMO being around for its twentieth anniversary. But then you consider that a) Blizzard doesn’t have an MMO to replace it, and b) the player population of the title is still fucking enormous a decade into its existence.
Syngery: ‘Star Wars Battlefront’ dropping late 2015
Electronic (Dark, Satanic) Arts has announced that Star Wars Battlefront ain’t dropping until late next year. Which isn’t surprising to any dick-lord who remembers that Episode VII ain’t arriving until December of 2015. So like, you know. Synergy. Cross-medium mutual-product masturbation. Or something. I don’t know. It’s late, and the thirteen Monsters in my bloodstream are beginning to bid adieu.
‘Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare’ Trailer: Spacey’s Private Militia
Not even going to front. I’m unabashedly anticipating a journey down the yearly Doritos Jingoism hole. This time with House of Cards stuffed into its guts.
Of course: ‘Halo 2’ Remaster will have content tying into ‘Halo 5: Guardians’
There are steps! FUCKING STEPS to getting suckers like me to buy the same game again. Especially this generation. The first step is to REMASTER THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF IT. That basically means make it look pretty. Because people like me are superficial. I don’t even know what 1080p means, can’t tell it from 720p. But I know I need LAST-GEN in 1080p. The second fucking step is to TIE THE REMAKE INTO THE FUCKING FUTURE RELEASES. The people behind Halo: The Collection – Later Bungie, Have Fun In Mediocrity HD; Spartan Collection get this.
‘Far Cry 4’ Weapons Of Kyrat Trailer: Many methods of mayhem
You’re going to be doing some killing in Far Cry 4, believe it or not. Yep, that’s right. It’s not some bloodless, idyllic romp through gorgeous vista after vista of Mountain Plain. Fucking crazy, right? And if you’re so inclined to sample the sort of murdering-tools that will be present in the game, Ubisoft has provided a trailer that allows you to do just that.
‘Uncharted 4’ designer drops look at next-gen Nathan Drake
Want to slake your thirst for Uncharted 4 temporarily? Here’s an up-close look at Nathan Drake’s next-gen model.
‘Far Cry 4’ Trailer: Cry For Help, Don’t Text
With Destiny eating shit, Watch_Dogs being mediocre, and pretty much every other game I was anticipating this year pushed to 2015, all my gaming hopes and dreams fall on Far Cry 4 this year. The latest trailer features the game’s Zany Bad Guy, and it does nothing to dissuade my excitement.
