#Miscellaneous
FOLLOW US FRIDAY: Booty Poppin’ Square Dance.
Frequenters of the Omega! Mere passersby trying not to vomit into their hands at the content here. I beseech you all to humor me for the minute on some self-promotion. I need you to enhance the army. Promote our war assets. Join the squad of reprobates. OL can be found in a variety of flavors. Do us a solid. We need you. More flesh for the Monolith.
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These NANOSTARS Kill Cancer Without Ever Entering Cell. Yeah, Science!
Nanomachines! They’re coming to give me telekinesis, immortal life, and an enormous, enormous johnson. Think I’m full of shit, that the nano-revolution isn’t coming? Tell that to the fucking nanostars!
This WOOLLY MAMMOTH Is One Of The Most Well Preserved Ever Found.
At first blush, I thought this was a hoax. Turns out, it’s just goddamn radical. Researchers have encountered an impressively preserved wooly mammoth, with features such as hair and foot pads still in fact. Bless you, ice! Bless you.
THIS WEEK ON Eastbound & Down – Chapter 19
Mother of Satan! EB&D takes the family circus to levels never before unseen, in what ends up more of an anthropologic character experience than an actual plot-progressing episode. I get it though. Not bitchin. I still believe. This week each vice is tidily accounted for, one by one, as we examine the true inner-workings of a southern dysfunctional family the likes of which produced such greatness that is, K fucking P.
Video: Tornado In Dallas Throwing Around Tractor Trailers Like Nothing. Mother Nature ++
This video from yesterday is pretty goddamn outstanding. I hope no one was injured as Nature flexed its fucking might, because what a flex it was. This tornado picks up tractor trailers and throws them around like they ain’t shit. ‘
EXERCISE and CAFFEINE Is (Skin) Cancer-Fighting Combo. I AM IMMORTAL.
Oh god damn! It appears that I have already mastered the one-two punch that’ll crack the ribs of mortality and grant me eternal rockitude. Or at least prevent skin cancer. I can settle for that.
Video: KATE UPTON Wants Me To Buy DirecTV. I WILL. I WILL.
This is astoundingly arousing-easy-lowest-common-denominator-but-I’m-sprung-here stuff. DirecTV pops Kate Upton on a beach, has her tell the audience to get their product, then flies her back to wherever they cryo-freeze all the beautiful male and female bodies that surely can’t operate in the real world.
THE MILLION HIT PICNIC. WE’VE DONE IT.
Sometime whilst I slept during the night, dreaming of Jennifer Lawrence and liberal uses for gelatinous desserts, the Spaceship Omega quietly hummed across a threshold. While Sleep Ian was generating a point in the Multiverse where j-e-ll-o was sliding down nooks and crannies of Lawrence’s (praise be!) curvaceous body in a dimly lit but swank shaggin’ wagon, we hit a goal we had been anticipating for a while. We received our one-millionth unique page view.
US Army Recruits “Animal Bots”. It’s like Beast Wars, only real.
Some laboratory in Boston (represent!) has been hard at work with some ridiculously cool new tech for the army, including a “sand flea” that can hop 9 meters to avoid things, and a goddamn “cheetah” that reaches running speeds up to 30kph, the fastest robot speed ever recorded. I don’t know about you, but I need at least 10 of these. Each.
Video: Every Bat-Climb Window Cameo From ‘BATMAN 66’ In One Place. Holy Climbing, Rat Guy.
Back in the day, Batman and Robin climbed the shit out of buildings. Just a nice piece of rope between their thighs, relying upon the closeness of one another to ensure they climbed successfully. The gentle touch of Batman upon the small of Robin’s back. Whispering: we can make it. Woah! What happened. Anyways. They loved the shit out of climbing, and here in one place is every cameo from their climbing.
