#Miscellaneous
Fear Fest: Reptilians!
OCTOBER 7th, Reptilians
“I would not enter in my list of friends, who needlessly sets foot upon a worm. An inadvertent step may crush the snail that crawls at evening in the public path, but he has the humanity, forewarned, will tread aside, and let the reptile live.”
-William Cowper
Hello once again friends, welcome back to fear central. Today’s fear comes from the world of conspiracy theories. If you don’t know about the Reptilian Agenda, you sir (or madam) are behind the times. They’re here, and they have plans.
The Reptilian Agenda is the brain child of a man by the name of David Icke. In short, it involves reptilian shape shifters that live in an underground city and control world events. Sound like a load of shit? Well maybe you need to take a closer look at human history.
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Fear Fest: Flying. Or As We Say “Tempting God”.
OCTOBER 8th, Flying
“There is an art, or rather a knack, to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
-Douglas Adams
Hello once again folks. Today’s fear dates back to two brothers, a bicycle shop, and a dream. Flying can be a fun experience. It’s too bad that its ruined by being a business. Cramped seats, bad service, lost luggage, security hassles and crying babies. It’s a wonder anyone chooses to fly.
Mobile App Downloads To Reach 98 Million By 2015. That’s A Lot of Angry Birds.
Mobile apps have gone from the hotness to for many of us what feels like are inextricable parts of daily life. We download them. A lot. At quite a clip.
Fear Fest: Clowns Aren’t Scary. They’re Murderers and Nightmares.
OCTOBER 7th, Clowns
“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”
-Steven Wright
Hello again friends. Here we are, closing out the first week of fear. Today’s fear is something that I had to conquer as a child. Coulrophobia (Coulro- prefix is Greek for “Stilt Walker”) is the fear of clowns. Its acceptance into published works is slowed by its difficulty to prove. While it’s not in any clinical textbooks, and is more recognized on the internet than in published works, I can attest that it is a real fear.
Starburst Galaxy Looks Delicious. Get It?
(Click image to enlarge.)
Check out the Starburst galaxy. Known to the fancy pants people around the world as M82. Others call it the Cigar Galaxy. What we can all agree on is that it has itself a superwind. Wait, what’s a superwind? (OMFG nice segue.)
Fear Fest: Chupacabra!
OCTOBER 6th, Chupacabra
“So you see, by applying the basic principles of the scientific method to the matter, we learn very quickly that the myth of the chupacabra is just that – utter crap. Now, if you apply the same principles to Catholicism, an interesting thing occurs…”
-Dr. Venture (Venture Brothers)
Welcome back Omegaites for another dose of fear. Real can be a subjective term. Acclaimed author Philip K. Dick spent most of his career dealing with the difference of reality versus perceived reality. In one great interview, he states that “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” So today we’ll take a closer look at something that rides the line between fact and fantasy.
Cryptozoology is an interesting field. I don’t know what one has to do to become an expert in cryptozoology, but I think it involves peyote and Joe Rogan. But let’s move past that and get down to brass tax. When it comes to cryptozoology, the chupacabra is the new kid on the block.
OCTOBERFEAST – Paul Bearer
[OCTOBERFEAST is the greatest celebration of the year, a revelry dedicated to pop-culture’s most nutritious Halloween detritus. Plastic screams and artificial sweeteners have never been more bountiful. In the old country, villagers refer to the extended party as Satan’s Snacktime]
Paul Bearer is the most evil man in professional wrestling.
Fear Fest: Calculus. F**king Math.
OCTOBER 5th, Calculus
“Calculus required continuity, and continuity was supposed to require the infinitely little; but nobody could discover what the infinitely little might be.”
– Bertrand Russell
Ahhh, another fine October day to be alive. There are Plenty of things in the world that will kill our body. As we discovered yesterday, it could be an asteroid. But what about what kills our spirit. Ask any high school teen what subject they hate most. I’m sure the most common answer given is math. Now imagine that Math itself was a person. Math wakes up, Math eats breakfast, Math gets ready for school. What subject does Math itself dread going to? Calculus.
Fear Fest: Apophis!
OCTOBER 4th, Apophis
“What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.”
-Dave Barry
Hello again, the Dude here dishing some wisdom out for free. So, stop what you’re doing, minimize that porn site you have open, you can leave the sound on, it will add ambiance, and stay a while.
Today we’re going off planet to discover a fear. Apophis. Now, if you don’t know what that is, I’m sure you will in 20 to 30 years. My goal is to get you digging your fallout shelter today. Apophis is a near-Earth asteroid that was discovered in 2004 and got as high as level 4 on the Torino Impact scale. Now, I’m not a scientician, so when I say we’re all going to die, you may want to pause and consider researching it for yourself. I can give you the numbers. Apophis is 350 meters in diameter (1,150ft). So just imagine a rock the size of the Eiffel Tower breaking us like a cue ball.
