#Television
THIS WEEK ON Dexter: Beauty and the Beast
When has Dexter Morgan passed the point of no return? When has the dude finally fucked up far too righteously to recover from? I ask, because if the dude hasn’t gotten there yet, he’s getting precariously close. If he hasn’t crossed the Rubicon, he’s certainly nuzzling up next to it.
Here’s a point for Would-Be savers of rape and homicide victims: when you’re trying to calm them down, don’t have them in a headlock. If you’re trying to assure them that they’re okay, don’t do it while administering a rear naked chokehold. Our boy Dexter misses that essential point in this episode, while trying to calm down the female he saved from Boyd’s writhing stache of prowess, Lumen.
“No no, seriously calm down! Everything is cool! Ignore the shed I’ve got you locked in, or the fast that I’m trying to give you the Boston Crab, or that I killed someone. Everything is fine. Dope. Solid even.”
Dexter spends the entire episode spiraling out of control. His life is in tatters, his existential status a tailspin of tremendous splendor. The dude just offed the coolest mustache in the state of Florida. Dang. His hot Irish baby sitter just quit. Double dang. And some uppity broad who isn’t cool with getting locked up in alligator country needs to be dealt with.
What’s a dude to do?
Why, consult Harry!
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This! Is! Mad Men! – Tomorrowland
[This! Is! Mad Men! is a recap of the newest developments of Don Draper and his lovable gang of capitalist sleazeballs. Sometimes it’s liveblogged, sometimes not. In the spirit of the show, the post itself will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]
Why do we put up with the bullshit in our lives? Why do we drag our existences through the mud? Knowing that we only have one-way tickets on Spaceship Earth, why don’t we do more to enjoy the ride?
The short answer — most of us don’t even know.
Neither does Don Draper.
The Hulk Is Smashing Its Way Onto ABC Television; Del Toro Making A Pitch!
Well, I wasn’t expecting this. Despite covering the announcement of Marvel television with Jeph Loeb helming it, I had sort of forgotten entirely about its existence. I was reminded today like fucking woah when it came out that not only is the Hulk being prepped for a television series, but Del Toro himself is making a pitch for it.
slashfilm:
Deadline and The Live Feed have the news, announcing that Marvel and ABC are currently in very early stages of development of a live-action (most likely hour-long) series adaptation of the comic book character. The project is part of a push from Marvel to enter the TV realm, kicked off last summer with the launch of Marvel Television. Heroes exec producer Jeph Loeb is the head of the operation, and The Hulk was among two high priority projects they settled on.
Slash points out an obvious but good question: isn’t this just inviting confusion? Dude’s gone through a fucking ludicrous amount of iterations within the last ten years alone. First Eric Bana, then Edward Norton, and currently Mark Ruffalo in the movies. But now they’re tacking on a separate television universe? Aren’t the mouthbreathers going to get confused? Dur! Where is that there guy from the TV tube! Why aren’t he one of them Avengers!
Two different Hulks existing in two different mediums? I don’t know, it seems to be muddying the waters a bit. But there’s good news at least! Fucking David Eick of Battlestar Galactica and Guillermo Del Toro are pitching a take? That’s fucking fantastic. Almost too good to be true.
This! Is! Mad Men! – Blowing Smoke
[This! Is! Mad Men! is a recap of the newest developments of Don Draper and his lovable gang of capitalist sleazeballs. Sometimes it’s liveblogged, sometimes not. In the spirit of the show, the post itself will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]
It’s no secret that Mad Men is filled with flawed characters. From the very first episode, this show has taken the viewers through the ups and downs of some of Madison Avenue’s most promising advertisers. While these trials and tribulations are entertaining in and of themselves, it is more interesting to search for the motivations. What is the impetus that makes [name a character] behave this way? Why are these individuals so incapable of veering away from self destruction?
Tonight, I think Blowing Smoke might have delivered an answer: addiction.
Natalie Portman To Metropolis Rumors Persist, Despite Frat Boy Rock Helming Superman
When it was reported that Darren Aronofsky was in talks to helm Superman, Natalie Portman was getting thrown around as a potential Lois Lane. Well, when Zack SLOW MOTION TITTY FUCK Snyder took the helm, I dismissed those reports. Well, apparently all is not lost as far as those rumors.
io9:
Although she’ll stay on as producer, both Natalie Portman and director David O. Russell have both left Pride Prejudice & Zombies due to scheduling conflicts. Thus escalating the rumors that Portman will be Lois Lane in Zack Snyder’s Superman.
Well then! Cool enough. I really like Portman, so much so that I forgive her for participating in the Holocaust of my Childhood. While I don’t exactly see Lois Lane when I look at her, I also consider two things. First, I have no idea what constitutes “looking like Lois Lane” anymore, but I know that Kate Bosworth wasn’t particularly it. And secondly, she’s a great actress, and whatever inexplicable visceral reaction I have can be dissuaded through her performance.
This! Is! Mad Men! – Chinese Wall
[This! Is! Mad Men! is a recap of the newest developments of Don Draper and his lovable gang of capitalist sleazeballs. Sometimes it’s liveblogged, sometimes not. In the spirit of the show, the post itself will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]
Last week the shit hit the fan. And Don Draper’s going to have to listen to some Kanye to find out if “Everything I’m not made me everything I am.”
Yikes. Weak reference. PULL IT TOGETHER, KRUEGER!
SCDP is in shambles. Part of the downfall can be attributed Roger hiding the fact they’re losing the Big Tobacco account on which they’ve survived. Lucky Strike is out and SCDP is going to be SOL.
The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
About a year ago I saw David Cross in Boston. The show was hilarious and made even more special by the fact that it was taped for release. But what was especially memorable was the fact that Cross previewed five minutes of a new series. He said that the project was being developed for English TV but that he was hopeful it would hit this side of the Atlantic via DVD.
Well, a year later and we’re only a couple weeks away from The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret‘s premiere on IFC. Reunited with fellow Arrested Development alum Will Arnett, Cross plays a hapless sap who falls into the (in)opportunity of moving to England to champion sales for his company. The product? ThunderMuscle – an energy drink of unprecedented strength.
The full pilot has been released online by IFC and I’ve embedded it below for your convenience. Check this shit out, it’s some of the funniest TV I’ve seen in a damn long while. Highlights include Todd Margaret’s experimentation with ThunderMuscle, a caffeinated experience that leads him to the following self-description:
“I’m like Rocky and Rocky III – combined! I’m like, if Rocky II fucked Rocky IV – BOOM! – Rocky V!”
Enjoy.
Walking Dead Promo Posters Gives Zombie Fetishists Groin Pains
Fuck to the yes. Click the image to enlarge this sexalicious promo poster for the upcoming television adaptation of Robert Kirkman’s Walking Dead comic book. Word, that’s an enormous sentence. Anyways, I am one of the legion of dorks awaiting this premiere. AMC screams quality. Mad Men, Breaking Bad and Rubicon are three of my favorite television shows, and I’m pretty sure I can already chalk this up to joining the list.
This! Is! Mad Men! – The Beautiful Girls
[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the newest developments of Don Draper and his ragtag group of cohorts. In the spirit of the show, it will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]
Pre-Show Expectations:
I’m really curious to see what goes down tonight. If last episode is the beginning of a trend, its seems as though Don Draper might be on the upswing – boozin’ less, treating women with respect, and just generally throwing his life together.
The online preview hinted at some potential lesbian action from Peggy. I’m not dying to see this, but it would an interesting evolutionary step for her to experiment sexually. We already know that she’s embodiment of the more socially conscious, self-aware woman of the 1960’s. Maybe the Mad Men crew is going to spice this up further with girl/girl love. Who knows though?
What I’m hoping to see is some more Pete Campbell. He’s been on the back burner lately, which is a damn shame. He’s a smug, self-righteous rich-boy and I can’t get enough of him. Maybe he’s going to continue to develop into something worthwhile; or maybe (as Don’s foil) he’ll just backslide.
This! Is! Mad Men! – The Summer Man
[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the newest developments of Don Draper and his ragtag group of cohorts. In the spirit of the show, it will often be sexist and drunk. Apologies ahead of time.]
Ok, here we go again – my unedited, stream-of-conscious thoughts about this week’s episode of Mad Men:
So we start with Draper reflecting on the fact that he never finished high school, has been drinking too much, and has never managed to pound out more than 250 words at a time. Is this the beginning of the upward swing we’ve all been waiting for? God I hope so.
Oh shit – John Draper’s smoking a butt in his sunglasses while the Rolling Stones’ Satisfaction plays. As a straight male with a fulfulling relationship, nothing has ever been more homosexually tempting. This guy is a fuggin’ stud through and through.
