#Television
THIS WEEK on Game of Thrones: “Kissed By Fire”
Game of Thrones has been kissed by fire in Season 3 – ratings are at a series high, and it’s easy to see why. The escalation all year has been almost out of control – new characters almost every week, new fantasy elements (to some viewers’ dismay), and new plots that aren’t in line with expectations.
The fifth episode’s title, “Kissed By Fire” is culled from a quote from red-headed wildling Ygritte, in reference to the boy that deflowered her. Red on red, as it were.
It’s a phrase very easily applied to half of Westeros, as well. The country is ravaged by war, farmlands are on fire, the religion of the Lord of Light and its affinity with fire are slowly creeping into all parts of the land, and Dany and her dragons have charred a city, and are marching to another.
And then there’s Beric Dondarrion.
This fool has had less than ten minutes of screen time and already reach maximum swagger allotment. It may have something to do with his pocket priest, Thoros of Myr – a red priest, not unlike Melisandre, Westeros’s resident shadow baby factory.
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‘DEXTER’ FINAL SEASON TRAILER: End Game for the Bay Harbor Butcher
I haven’t finished the previous season of Dexter. However, I have come to understand through the blathering of friends that the season finale is out of its goddamn mind. So make no mistake, I will finish it at some point in anticipation of the final slashing season of the show. With no seasons left, I imagine the writers will go for broke as they race towards the end game. No more filler, no more posturing. Sign me up.
New AMC show is ‘BLADE RUNNER’ meets ‘BATTLESTAR.’ Don’t tease me.
There is a new pilot about to be shot for AMC, which incidentally may cause me to shoot some white stuff. Ew! Gross! Sorry, sorry. Anyways, the new television show is described as a cross between Battlestar and Blade Runner. Glorious! Give me this!
FINAL ‘BREAKING BAD’ SEASON gets a premiere date. Oh shit, and a talk show!
Dear friends, mark your calendars. You’re going to want to specifically clear out any events that may have been planned for August 11, for that is when the final season of Breaking Bad begins.
Watch: PATTON OSWALT’s brilliant ‘STAR WARS’ x ‘MARVEL’ crossover pitch.
Patton Oswalt is appearing on this week’s episode of the fucking fantastic Parks and Rec. One of the preeminent Lords of Dork was asked by the show to play a filibusterer, and given the choice to ramble about whatever he wanted. Oswalt delivered with nothing less than a delicious hallucinatory pitch for a Star Wars x Marvel crossover that we would all love. Don’t deny it.
This! Is! Mad Men! – The Collaborators
[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the most recent developments of Don Draper and his lovable gang of sleazeball advertisers. In the spirit of the show, the post itself may very well be drunk. And sexist. Apologies ahead of time.]
One of the secrets of getting good at any game is to learning how to navigate through the rules. Just as a hacker can manipulate an operating system, a true sportsman knows how to bend, ignore, or even break the rules of his given game. In fact, this practice is so prevalent that many sports even develop their own sets of etiquette, terms, and conditions that are implicitly agreed upon.
Life, often compared to a game, certainly has its share of unspoken agreements.
But who’re the people that turn the other way when the rules are broken? Who deals in terms of tacit transactions? Well, it always seems to be The Collaborators.
THIS WEEK on Game of Thrones: “Walk of Punishment”
Daenerys Targaryen has quickly captured the imagination and hopes of every viewer of HBO’s Thrones. Small wonder then, that the episodes are frequently titled after her story, and focus heavily on her story, even if it’s a story that’s been mostly divorced from the war in Westeros for over two years.
The “walk of punishment” is blatantly reminiscent of the crucifixion-executions of the Roman Empire. The condemned were forced to hang, nailed to wooden crosses, in rows lining the roads surrounding Rome (historians can correct me if needed).
This walk of punishment doesn’t seem to instill fear in Dany, as intended, but instead, compassion and fury.
This! Is! Mad Men! – The Doorway
[This! Is! Mad Men! recaps the most recent developments of Don Draper and his lovable gang of sleazeball advertisers. In the spirit of the show, the post itself may very well be drunk. And sexist. Apologies ahead of time.]
Oh, Mad Men, how I’ve missed every aspect of your beautiful face, not even excepting the five o’clock shadow and booze-breath and tobacco stains.
AMC must know that we’ve been champing at the bit for more spiritual ruin on Madison Avenue, as they deliver a sixth season premiere guaranteed to sate even the most ravenous of televisional appetites. The Doorway never relents, using absolutely every second of its two-hour running time to remind us why love the characters. And how is this done, you ask? Why, by thrusting them into the midst of existential crises! Duh!
C’mon, let’s take a look at the last episode of Mad Men!
Errbody’s fave douche SAUL GOODMAN may really be getting ‘BREAKING BAD’ spinoff.
What was once a pipe dream, just like my animated Jennifer Lawrence monster forged out of half-eaten chicken breasts, may now come to fruition. While Vinny Gilligan seemed to be just spitballing last year about the idea of a Saul Goodman spinoff once Breaking Bad ends, it appears that AMC may be looking to actually green light that very thing. Smacks of desperation. And comb over.
‘ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT’ season 4 dropping MAY 26th. CLEAR THE FRIGGIN’ DAY.
May 26th is when gluttonous fat-faced television consumption is going to be happening across the Inter-Webs stream. Netflix has announced that such a date will be known as the day when Arrested Development roared up out of oblivion. None shall have the power to deny returning to the life of one of television’s favorite cult gatherings.
