I turn my god damn back on the internet for like nine hours and this slithers out while I sleep. And play video games. And not shower. Well, here it is: the Thor trailer from this SDCC last week has hit the nettwebz. Replete with Asgardian Thunder, Jacked Shirtless dudes, Righteous Pontificating, and Pretty Cool Action, I am officially stoked.

Hit the jump to check out the trailer. It’s gud. Gud like yummy gummy bears and caffeinated beverages.

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I had only read about Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch prior to this trailer. And still smarting that he took (what I consider to be) a big fat Frat Boy Shit on Watchmen, I didn’t really want to give it much of a look. But now I have seen the trailer, and I think I have been altered for the better/worse.

Returning to where I think it makes sense for him to stay, Sucker Punch looks like the retarded nocturnal emission of a mentally-challenged 16 year-old who plays too much World of Warcraft and drinks too much Mountain Dew. It’s hyper-erotic-violence featuring chicks in short skirts and giant robotic samurai ninjas. It’s like the product of some dude stuck in arrested development, who has been snorting pixie sticks laced with crushed viagra, who then smokes weed and watches 300 and Kill Bill back to back.

In other words, it channels a vibe that speaks to a very, very large part of me, that only through an immense amount of anti-psychotics and self-control have I managed to partially contain.

Also, it’s got Jon fucking Hamm in it. In other words, my homo-crush, and if I could turn my feelings for him into dollar bills, I could buy at least three-hundred-million Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.

Hit the jump and check out the trailer. If your response is “this is the most juvenile piece of video-game pop-slush bullshit I have ever seen, designed for underdeveloped horndogs”, my response is “Yes. I can’t wait.

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Source: Sarcastically, I am.

Shazam! And a thousand nerds orgasmed simultaneously across the internets. Behold them all! Including Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk. Boom.

io9:

It was a great way to end an exciting day at Comic-Con: The full cast of Avengers, on stage, with newly-anointed director Joss Whedon. So who is in this picture?

The full roll call (via Cinematical):

Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark
Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson
Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow
Chris Hemsworth as Thor
Chris Evans as Captain America
Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye
Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner / Incredible Hulk

Robert Downey Jr. invited director Joss Whedon to the stage, saying, “We knew we had to find a director you’d love.” And being his usual self-depreciating self, Whedon said:

I have had a dream all my life and it was not this good . . . This cast is more than I could have ever hoped for. And I am going to blow it. So I need your love; I need your support.

When the crowd went nuts, he said, “Oh thank you.”

I’m beyond excited for this shit.

I love Grant Morrison a god damn lot. He might be my favorite comic book writer, I’m not sure. Every time I try and say that, my subconscious projection of Warren Ellis rises up, and they get into an arm wrestling match. They eventually hug, and never deciding the debate, go to the pub for a drink.

Nonetheless, the fact that Grant Morrison is writing a movie is probably the best news I’ve heard coming out of San Diego Comic Con. The premise? Amazing.

Bleeding Cool:

Sinatoro, a man with no past and no memories; the sole survivor of a car crash in the middle of a desolate American desert road. When he encounters the beautiful daughter of a cult leader, she convinces him to help defeat the forces of evil, which have overrun her town. His journey pits him against the world’s most dangerous gangster and allies him with a deranged astronaut, a drunken cowboy, and an army of hobos. As Sinatoro travels through an American landscape made of pop culture nightmares, he struggles to understand who he is and why everyone is out to get him.

I need this movie. Yesterday.

In time for the Tron Legacy panel at San Diego Comic Con, this new trailer for the movie dropped. And then I dropped my pants. Rimshot! Groans! Guilty muted applause. If this movie is even half as cool as it seems, I’ll be satisfied. At the most basic level, the visuals alone are enough to cajole my nerd loins in a titillated slushy mess.

Hit the jump to check out the trailer and visually imbibe nerdporn.

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Thar be some insane muscles!

I always wonder what sort of horse-balls derived, HGH-rich diet Hollywood actors are on, to achieve the physiques of well, Norse gods. Bask in the rippling mountains of Thor’s muscles in this picture. And silently weep (if you’re like me) at your lax, rippling waves of lack-of-tone.

[buy here | click to enlarge]

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For the upcoming San Diego Comic Con, Marvel has dropped two super-ballin’ concept paintings. One for Captain America, and one for Thor. These guys are absurdly bad ass.

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The great irony here may be that the paintings designed to promote the movies may actually show why there’s something about these characters in graphic form that cannot be captured by cameras.

Holy fuggin’ shit, it looks like the Riddler is really going to be in The Dark Knight 2 / Batman 3 / Whatever. And more so, it looks like my wet dream of Joseph Gordon-Levitt playing him may be coming true. Get ready to e-masturbate:

via slashfilm:

There have been rumors of a JGL Riddler in the Batman sequel for some time. Today, FirstShowing got info from a source with a studio casting grid for Batman 3, so their report about the Riddler and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is more than pure speculation. In short, the casting gird is a data array with the roles in the film, possible actors, and scheduling needs. It shows talent availability and   which roles have actually been offered out. It can also be crucial in noting what actors can cover roles other then the ones they’re primarily wanted for.

So this info lists the Riddler, and has JGL as a primary candidate marked as ‘interested’. As FirstShowing says, don’t take this as any report that Levitt is in the film, but it may be a good sign that the Riddler will be.

Fuggin’ boom! Boners and cartwheels. I would fucking love this. My dickcrush broner (yes, broner) for JGL is reaching staggering heights. The idea of him being in the third Batman movie is enough to send me into fits of ecstacy. And in case you’re wondering what that looks like: lots of drooling, rubbing body parts, and kissing my computer monitor while Batman Forever loops in the background.

Let’s get this shit done.