I’m stoked for X-Men: First Class. The more I see of it, the more I’m vibing with the retro approach to the whole fiasco. So I was totally stoked for this Communist trailer for the upcoming flick. There’s a few new scenes, including Magneto rocking out with his powers as a young kid.

Hit the jump for the video.

Droogies.

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Apparently at SXSW and other film festivals they have a bunch of “bumper” films. Minifilms that precede the screenings. Didn’t know that. Now I do. One of them showing at SXSW is “Mario” by Joe Nicolosi. Nicolosi works in a shitload of outstanding references in the framework of a trailer for an indie film version of Mario. Go ahead and watch it, you’re going to love it.

You dirty little slut.

Hit the jump for the video.

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[photo via x-ray delta one]

Turn on some music as loud as possible. I’m not fuggin’ around – I want you to blast it. I suggest OM.

Tilt your head back. Keep your mouth shut. Through your nose, suck in as much air as possible. And hold it.

Wait.
Wait.
Wait.

Now, exhale as hard as you can. Don’t stop until you think you’re about to gag. Then keep going. Feel the muscles in the back of your throat writhe. Don’t close your mouth – the burps want to come out. By the way, keep going. Let the tears come to your eyes. Enjoy that pre-puke taste filling your gullet. Keep going. Bend over at the torso and the let the blood flow into your face. Keep going. And just when you think you’re going to pass out, swing upright and suck in more air.

Congratulations. You just reminded yourself that you’re amongst the living.

In 100 years, this likely won’t be the case.

So let’s enjoy some shit along the way. Hop aboard Monday Morning Commute so I can tell you what I’m up to. Then hit up the comments section and do the same.

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This is Inception In Sixty Seconds done by Wolfgang Matz for a competition of the same theme. It’s been around since Friday on the internet, which by our standards makes it beyond old. Crusty. Withered. Dusty. But I don’t like to ball as hard here on the blog during the weekend. So consider it a late to the party entry.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Yeah son, yeah! Did you check out the Super 8 trailer? Did it make you feel like you were staring at Ronald Reagan on television as President, and worshipping at the feet of Hulk Hogan before he was a bloated orange hot dog ready to burst?

Then hit the jump and check out the poster for it that has dropped.

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Oh man. Shave off your pubes, pretend you’re not obsessed with death and sex, and prepare to hit the wayback machine. The trailer for J.J. Abrams’ Super 8 has arrived, and it is every bit the Spielbergian homage that I was hoping for.

Hit the jump, check out the video.

Then let me know your impressions.

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I want Duncan Jones’ fucking Mute. Described as a Blade Runner homage, it promises to milk my cyberpunk prostrate. There will be spurt. Artwork for it leaked over a year ago, and since then there hasn’t been much about it. We now know that while it won’t be his next movie, it is getting the graphic novel treatment.

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[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]

In Tim Burton’s 1989 Batman, Billy Dee Williams delivers a Harvey Dent that is strong, tough on crime, and grandiose. However, narrow-minded fanboys scoff at Williams’ performance because of the fact that he’s…um…well, a dude with a mustache.

*Ahem*

On the other hand, Tommy Lee Jones’ performance in Batman Forever summons the true madness of Harvey Dent, the notion that residing within any single individual is the potential for unquantifiable conflict. Jones’ civil war of the mind affects every single viewer…who can look past the black lights and neon lasers.

So how about it? Who’s the better Harvey Dent – Lando Calrissian or No Country for Old Men?

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I fucking warned all six of you regular readers here at OL. I’m going to be riding the jock of The Dark Knight Rises with a fevered nature that’s going to induce both moans of pleasure and screams at the horrible chaffing. While doing promotional work for Red Riding Hood or whatever, Gary Oldman’s begun to spit about TDKR. He’s mentioned that – gasp – it’s fucking dope, and hints at the villain.

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Korea knows how to do revenge movies right, but before being edited to death, I Saw the Devil was banned from public theaters in Korea for scenes that “severely damage the dignity of human values.” Yeah whatever Korea. This is America and my red-blooded values weren’t severely damaged by this epic revenge thriller from Korean cult director Jee-woon Kim. Jee-woon has already proven himself to be a master craftsman with his previous films A Bittersweet Life, A Tale of Two Sisters and The Good, The Bad, The Weird (the latter two currently available on Netflix Watch Instantly, btw) and with I Saw the Devil he cements his greatness even further – alongside a bit of the old ultraviolence.

Choi Min-sik (Oldboy) plays Kyung-chul, a serial killer who is the most terrifying evil force since Anton in No Country. The film opens with him abducting a woman stranded while she waits for a tow truck. He beats her with a tire iron, throws her in his mini-school bus (even killers need a day job), and brings her back to his hovel where he rapes and dismembers her. Unbeknownst to Choi, the woman was the fiancé of government special agent Kim Soo-hyeon (Lee Byung-hyun from The Good, The Bad, The Weird) and the daughter of Seoul’s chief of police. After some light mourning, Kim leaves his government job to hunt down his girl’s killer inflict “10,0000” times more pain on him than she experienced.

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