#Movies
Drive: Life Outside the Five Is Well Worth It
(Warning: This review contains some minor spoilers.)
Five minutes. That’s all the Driver (Ryan Gosling) gives his fellow criminals on a heist. No more, no less. Anything before or after that allotted time is not his concern; it is outside his frame of reference. But within those five minutes, he is all in, willing to do anything to get the job done. Because, during those five minutes, he is doing what he was meant to do, doing what defines him: He is behind the wheel of a get-away car, driving relentlessly for a few minutes at a time.
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Monday Morning Commute: Heart-Failin’ Classics
It’s Monday.
Driving to work this morning, I saw a BMW pulled over in the breakdown lane. Hazards flashing. Black smoke billowing out from under the hood. The middle-aged driver pulled himself through the open sunroof, stood upright as though he were First Man emerging from the primordial birth canal, shook his balled-up fist at the sky, and let loose a guttural wail that cut through the nonsense-talkers inside of my radio-box. His briefcase was launched onto a station wagon, in the process cracking its windshield and scaring the illegal immigrants riding inside. He then slipped, fell off of the roof, and got to his feet just in time to spit blood into my open passenger side window as I drove by.
In my rear view, I saw him whip out his dick while strangling himself with his tie.
It’s Monday.
As such, it’s my pleasure to welcome you to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the spot where we share our panaceas for work-induced ennui and existential fatigue. After I show you the cocktail I’ll be using, hit up the comments section and show off your own self-medications.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt Asked Directly About Robin, Plays It Coy. Atta Boy.
JGL continues to keep hope alive for me. I want me a Robin in Dark Knight Rises. Listen man, I’m not talking about some circus motherfucker. I’m talking about a Nolanized version of the character. Simply put: someone who can don the cowl and continue the symbolism that Wayne created in the first movie.
JGL was asked about Robin, and boy did he play a fun game of equivocation.
Face of a Franchise: Daredevil
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
Since his debut in 1964, comics fans (especially those that love to exclaim Make mine Marvel, muthafuckah!!!) have been wowie-zowied by the antics of Daredevi, the man without fear! Despite hitting the scene in a costume ridiculous even by comics standards, Daredevil won over fans by beating all sorts of criminal ass at night while maintaining a successful law practice during the day as Matt Murdock.
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.
Also, the guy’s blind. Which makes his feats even more spectacular. I mean, Ray Charles was cool as hell, but I don’t think he’d handle a trampoline half as well as Murdock.
Also tack on the fact that bad-ass writers seem to gravitate towards Daredevil (historically – Frank Miller/recently – Ed Brubaker), and it’s clear why the character is afforded such genuine respect. The mouthbreathin’, anti-social panel-worshippers that I count myself amongst fucking love Daredevil.
Fortunately, the admiration for this Marvel Knight has been truly honored by the two men fearless enough to portray him in live-action.
If for no other reason, 1989 was a wonderful year because it saw the release of The Trial of the Incredible Hulk, a made-for-TV movie continuing the adventure that began in The Incredible Hulk series. Of course, any time that a Marvel character goes on trial, there’s only one man to turn to for help: Attorney Matt Murdock! The hero of Hell’s Kitchen was portrayed by Rex Smith, the only man brave enough to ride the Street Hawk! Although relegated to a supporting role, Smith’s interpretation of Daredevil as a ninjutsu-lookin’ legally-blind lawyer that helps a green gargantuan is simply chilling.
Whereas Rex Smith’s Daredevil is a one-round knockout, Ben Affleck’s portrayal is a twelve-round slugfest. After blowing away audiences with Reindeer Games, Affleck was given his second once-in-a-lifetime role in 2003’s Daredevil. In this dark vision of the Daredevil mythos, Matt Murdock not only has to fight Bullseye, but the entire Green Mile as well! Proving himself to be a world-class thespian, Affleck navigated his way through playground battles with Elektra, Irish guys with facial scars, and a soundtrack that includes both Nickelback and Hoobastank.
A miracle performance. Nothing less.
So who do you think is the superior Daredevil? The dude from the TV-movie that no one remembers or the dude from the movie no one likes?
Rex Smith or Ben Affleck?
Netflix To Lose One-Million Customers Over Pricing. Not me!
Netflix changed its pricing this summer splitting up the physical and streaming options, in what some have speculated it was in anticipating of licensing fees or something. Or something. Cheesed off a lot of people. Apparently something like a million.
‘Source Code’ Becoming a TV Show On CBS. Can We Jump Back And Prevent This? LOL.
I dug Source Code. I love Duncan Jones. I’m totally not interested in a Source Code television show.
Stallone Confirms Van Damme For ‘Expendables 2’, Wants Cage and Travolta.
The Expendables sucked. I didn’t object to the premise: a bunch of washed-up pieces of cultural refuse team up to kick ass and harken back to the old days. The problem was that there was too much pontificating and posturing and Mickey Rourke’s drooly lip. Maybe the second one will get it right. Explosions and death: yes. Blathering about the price of war: no.
They have gotten one thing right: adding fucking Van Damme to the mix.
Samuel L. Jackson Is Going To Be In Tarantino’s ‘Django Unchained’. Word.
Generally I’m fucking tired of Samuel L. Jackson. Respect his past performances when, you know, he used to act. These days? Meh. Also, fuck him as Nick Fury. Still, I can’t help but be excited that he’s going to reteam with Tarantino for ‘Django Unchained’.
‘Ghostbusters’ Getting Theatrical Rerelease? Childhood Glow Time.
Ghostbusters is getting a theatrical rerelease. Fucking yes. My girlfriend, having arrived out of a box tabula rasa, a shiny blonde gorgeous intelligent blank slate, has never seen this flick. What a better way to indoctrinate her into the ways of the busting of Ghosts.
J.J. Abrams Is Officially Directing ‘Star Trek 2’. Lens Flare A-Go-Go!
J.J. Abrams is officially directing Star Trek 2. This is good news for those of us who like ridiculously stylish bullshit, somewhat talented directors, and most importantly fucking lens flares.
