#Movies

Paramount and New Regency To Finance Aronofsky’s $150 Million Epic ‘Noah’. Holy Moses!

I’m pretty excited for Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, which has been in development for a bit now. Finally!, finally they’ve made their securement (is that a word? I think it is, nothing is coming up.) of funds official. Paramount and New Regency, come on down!

Keep Reading »

Seven High Resolution Photos Of ‘The Avengers’? Oh Hades Yeah.

Want seven high resolution photos of ‘The Avengers’? Of course you do. Or don’t. Maybe you’re keeping yourself pure. As if! Well anyways. If you want them, they’re behind the jump.

Go on.

Keep Reading »

Official ‘Avengers’ Set Photo Shows Whedon and Scarlett Johansson. She Pretty.

You can tell how I pick and choose when to make some sort of moralistic stand. Set photos are dumb! Yet here I am enjoying this one. Primarily because of Mrs.  Scarlett Johansson. I stand for nothing  except perhaps acknowledging when one stands for nothing. Want to see an official set photo?

Jump!

Keep Reading »

Arrested Development Is Getting Another Season of TV. And A Movie. God Loves Us.

I didn’t believe that we were ever going to get an Arrested Development movie. For some reason the Good Lords have decided to smile on us, blessing us not only with a movie but with another fucking season of television? Can it be?

Keep Reading »

Sony To Stop Paying For 3D Classes. Well F**k Them And 3D Then.

Sony’s going to stop paying for 3D glasses. Fuckers. Now we may have to foot the bill. Could they be exceptional assholes but releasing everything in 3D?

Keep Reading »

Monday Morning Commute: Prospero’s Ripper

Every morning I take two pills so that I don’t die.

Most mornings, I whiz through the first twenty minutes of consciousness on zombie-autopilot, totally unaware of what I’m doing. I know there’s some sort of   routine at work, but I don’t actually think about it.

rub sleep out of eyes.stretch.take two pills so that I don’t die.pound yogurt.shower.brush teeth.dress myself.go to work.

By the time I’m cognizant of the surrounding world, my car is pulling into the parking lot. I get out of the driver’s seat, sigh, and then submit my soul for a work day’s worth of bondage.

But some mornings, because I’ve been interrupted in the middle of a REM cycle or an act of Providence has flown my way or the Omnidimensional Creator owes me a favor, I’m aware from the moment I awake. I take the time to think about what I’m doing, and the early-morning September mists amplify every emotion. Vanilla yogurt isn’t just sustenance, it’s an Earth-shattering flavor-quake. Brushing my teeth isn’t just a part of daily hygiene, it’s a rhythmic exercise. Taking two prescription pills isn’t just a health-choice, it’s a terrifying realization.

Every morning I take two pills so I don’t die. And when I think about it, I’m so fucking thankful to still be alive. My heart’s still pumping and my mouth’s still running, and I don’t want to waste this gift. So let’s take killer rips of black coffee, headbang to metal, and high-five one another as much as possible.

–-

Step right up, folks! This ‘ere is the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, OL’s weekly feature in which I show you what I’ll be doing to survive until the weekend. After I run you through my entertainment gamut, you’re to hit up the comments section and show off your own articles of awesome.

It’s digital show-and-tell at its most abject.

Keep Reading »

Netflix Signs DreamWorks Animation, Amazon Signs Fox For Streaming. Battle On!

Just today I was wondering when the fuck  Fringe was going to get up on the Netflix tip so I could finally watch it. Get the discs? Pshaw! I’m lazy. Well it may be going up soon, just on Amazon’s streaming service. Today Amazon and Netflix both announced huge streaming signings.

Keep Reading »

‘Ghostbusters’ Returning For Three Nights In October. Pants Covered In Ectoplasm.

Last week it was revealed that Ghostbusters was going to be getting a limited re-release in theaters. Well, now we know when.

Keep Reading »

Blockbuster Reveals ‘Movie Pass’, $10/Month Netflix Streaming Competitor.

Netflix has fallen into mud fucking quickly. Shitty pricing plans. Splitting the physical side of the service into the laughably named Qwikster. Perhaps this is the moment Blockbuster has been waiting for, revealing their unambitiously named ‘Movie Pass’ service.

Keep Reading »

Trailer: ‘The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’ Four Minute Trailer Of Glory.

I alternate between being excited about the prospect of Fincher helping The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and wishing he’d take on something more esoteric. Tonight I’m fucking excited. A four minute trailer interspersed with bits of what I assume is Reznor’s soundtrack.

It’s glorious.

Hit the jump to check it out.

Keep Reading »