#Movies
MICHAEL BAY ATTACKED WITH AIR CONDITIONER on ‘TRANSFORMERS 4’ set. Wut?
Fucking dummies. You cannot fell Michael Bay with an air conditioner. He has a posse of explosions to repel any sort of attack that may come his way. However, that didn’t stop a gang of people (as opposed to what, Caff? Geese?) from attempting extortion on the set of Transformers 4. What happened to those fucks? What do you think. They were summarily executed by Megan Fox and Optimus Prime.
(Or something like that, read on.)
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VIN DIESEL only has ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE in ‘GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.’ All that’s f**king needed.
Vin Diesel only has one line in Guardians of the Galaxy. Am I sad? Not even. When you’re Big Vincent Diesel Baby, do you really need more than one line to affect the outcome of a movie? I don’t think so. When you have the hot, thunderous, deep pipes of Vinny, a mere handful of words is all you need to change the course of a movie. Or history.
GO FIGURE: DARREN ARONOFSKY and PARAMOUNT battling over ‘NOAH’ FINAL CUT
Oh God, I totally couldn’t have envisioned this! Psyche! Tricked you! Darren Aronofsky and Paramount are battling over the final cut of the director’s eco-disaster biblical nightmare. Apparently Paramount somehow suffered the delusion that Aronofsky made accessible flicks, and saw fit to give him roughly 3-zillion dollars for this blockbuster. Supposed blockbuster. Probable failure.
‘THOR: THE DARK WORLD’ CLIP: Thor’s Baddie Awakens.
Here’s a clip from Thor: The Bearded Babe’s World featuring the antagonist of the flick. I don’t know much about this Malalekinth (starting with how to spell his name), but the homeboy seems pretty fucking foreboding. I’ll take it.
JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT and PAUL RUDD front-runners for ‘ANT-MAN’ LEAD.
I’m down with either JGL or Paul Rudd entering through the thickened mucous membrane of casting and seizing the leading role in Ant-Man. Though if I have to play favorites, I’m pretty sure I’d cream everywhere if JGL got the job. I mean, because he’s JGL.
Alamo Drafthouse BANS MADONNA from its theaters FOR TEXTING. So awesome.
So good. Madonna’s super-cut ass has been banned from Alamo Drafthouse’s theaters after texting during 12 Years A Slave. The best part? When someone tried to suggest she cut that fucking shit out, she decided to call them an “enslaver.” Can’t make this shit up.
‘GRAVITY’ pulls in LARGEST OCTOBER OPENING EVER.
Hell yeah. Not only is Gravity the painfully birthed love child of one of my favorite directors, but it’s also currently my favorite movie of the year. So it’s nice as fuck to see the film getting recognized in the box office department.
AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON confirmed as QUICKSILVER in ‘AVENGERS 2’
Filed under: things we already knew. What Taylor-Johnson confirmed months ago, is uh, confirmed by other people and stuff.
SCARLET WITCH GET: SAMUEL L. JACKSON confirms ELIZABETH OLSEN for ‘AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON.’
It appears that Elizabeth Olsen is going to be in Avengers: Jarvis is Pissed. I suppose when you’re Samuel L. Jackson, you can pretty much just shit on the face of embargoes and secrets and stuff. Right?
J.J ABRAMS has APOLOGIZED for LENS FLARES. Self-Awareness++
Despite all my shit talking of Abrams (perhaps misguided because it’s the plot for STID that I so loathe), I’m excited for the dude to be doing Episode VII. So when he comes out and directly addresses his over use of lens flares, I can only get a bit more excited. Self-awareness? I’ll take it.
