#Movies
Sony EXPANDING ‘SPIDER-MAN’ FRANCHISE with ‘VENOM’ AND ‘SINISTER SIX’ flicks.
Cinematic comic book universes for all! All the universes! All the characters! ‘Cause when something is hot in Hollywood, you do the obvious. Wring the concept of all its energy, novelty, and excitement. Sony knows how Hollywood works. Sony has their hands obviously on the meat grinder.
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Opinions Vary: Trolling Aliens
Although it is oftentimes bogged down by its own insular squabbling on this planet, humankind has a fascinating propensity to be open-minded about the possibility of intelligent life elsewhere. The unbelievable vastness of the universe coupled with the strangeness of our potentially singular existence within it seems to make many hesitant to commit to the conviction that we are alone. Rather, it’s more understandable to long for others to be with us. After all, if there’s a whole lot of life here, then surely it can conceivably happen somewhere else. And while some believe that here and elsewhere have already mixed and intelligent life forms have visited from afar to our pale blue dot, most supporters hold that there’s a better chance that aliens exist just outside our celestial periphery and will continue to do so until a future time when, with the assistance of technological and even social advancements, we might at last meet. But even without the realistic prospects of such a superior tomorrow in our sight, there remains a genuine willingness to take the necessary steps to get there, to reach out in the hope that we can commence a cosmic dialogue with anyone or anything that might be receptive to a human how-do-you-do.
WAR MACHINE set to be all up in ‘AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON’ in “KEY ROLE.”
Don Cheadle is going to be in Avengers: Age of Ultron. He’s playing a “key role” in the flick. Now listen I’m not a genius and I wouldn’t bet (my own) money on this theory. But. This is my idea. I see no better way to have Tony don the armor again than having Ultron kill Rhodey with Stark’s own technology. I mean…right?
Jason Clarke is probably JOHN CONNOR in ‘TERMINATOR’ reboot.
Jason Clarke is probably my favorite part of Zero Dark Thirty. That beard. That presence. Those shoulders! (Truthfully, I didn’t notice his shoulders but I bet they’re nice.) So yeah, cast his ass as John Connor. Get me interested.
‘GODZILLA’ Trailer: FEAR, TREMBLING, AND A LIZARD.
Holy fuck. After Amazing Spider-Garfield 2’s righteous trailer last week, I’m now o-2 when it comes to predicting how much I’ll enjoy a movie’s cinematic cock tease. Didn’t expect to like the trailer for Godzilla, but here I am. Digging the visuals. Loving the tone. Appreciating what I believe is a cut for 2001’s OST.
Rumor: KHAL DROGO (Jason Momoa) in talks to join ‘BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN.’
Good guy Zack Snyder. If reports are to be believed, it seems he is salvaging the man behind Game of Thrones’ Khal Drogo from the trash heap. And thank goodness! Those pectoral muscles need to glisten upon the big screen. (In another movie outside of Conan which the Dude and I sadly saw together. We had a fun time though.) It seems a bit too obvious, but Jason Momoa is a logical Doomsday. Right?
Well Sh*t: Joe Cornish AIN’T directing ‘STAR TREK 3.’
Man, fuck! Like four hours ago I was really frothing down in the pink and soft area over the potential of Joe Cornish directing Star Trek 3. Now! Now like fucking out of the blue, a hammer of gloom is smashing a nail of disappointment into my heart of (insert another crappy metaphor).
‘JUPITER ASCENDING’ Trailer: Them Wachowskis Can Sure Do F**king Visuals
C’mon, Wachowskis. Don’t do this to me. Don’t get me fucking excited for another one of your movies. ‘Cause after watching the trailer for Jupiter Ascending, I’m fucking interested. Intrigued. Sprung at the science-fiction visuals you’re hanging on me.
Next ‘STAR TREK’ MOVIE adds two new writers.
To which I say, obviously, good! You may or may not know my opinion on Star Trek Into Bland But Pretty Action Movie Territory (but you do now!). So all I’m going to say is that I love the idea of some new blood working on the flicks.
Jerry “Slop Culture Maven” Bruckheimer signs Paramount deal. ‘TOP GUN 2’ is TOTS PRIORITY.
Give it up to Jerry Bruckheimer. No, seriously. Give it up to him. He’s completely uncomfortable with the fact that Michael “Dig My Mullet, Assholes” Bay is the undisputed king of cinematic pop culture diarrhea these days. Jerry is going to rally. He swears to his disgusted wife, his ashamed kids. How goes Jerry plan on doing this? Dethroning the Golden Mullet?
A couple of sequels that’ll milk your knickers clean.
