#Movies
‘NOAH’ Super Bowl Teaser Trailer: Angels, Rain, and Yelling. Lots Yelling.
Protect this! Protect that! Load the fucking unicorns! Blah, blah! War movie meets God meets ecological disaster flick. I don’t know what the fuck is going on in Noah, and I definitely don’t know how this is in Darren Aronofsky’s wheelhouse.
None the less. Hit the jump. Watch the teaser. Let me know what you think.
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Tomorrow LOUIS C.K. is dropping his FIRST FEATURE FILM. Online. $5.
Apparently way back in the day Louis C.K. made a feature flick. 1998 to be precise. Tomorrow Night. It hasn’t seen the light of day, but the Mogul Posing as a Failure is correcting that. Tomorrow Afternoon. Get it? Cause of the title? I know, I know. I suck.
Anthony and Joe Russo are directing ‘CAPTAIN AMERICA 3.’
Well then! Winter Soldier ain’t dropped yet, but commerce and media production don’t balk at such things! The churn must churn, lest it not be…churning? Oh whatever. The minds behind Winter Soldier are coming back for Captain ‘Murica Round 3. And while I haven’t seen their first offering, if the trailers are any indication it’s going to blast the hair off my asshole with glee.
Maybe: JOSH GAD is number one choice for THE THING in ‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ reboot
I don’t know Josh Gad. Don’t know him! I’m sure he is a lovely guy. Or an awful guy. He’s probably a guy. Whatever quality of human Gad is, the animated fleshling (aren’t we all?) is apparently the number one choice to play The Thing in the new Fantastic Four flick.
‘ZERO THEOREM’ Official Trailer: The Waltz of Gilliam’s Future
All sorts of lame-as-fuck punning in that headline. Whatever. ‘Cause you know what? I have no idea what to say about Zero Theorem. Other than it looks awesome. What is it about? How hard will it bend my mind? I don’t know, but I want to find out.
Empire mag reveals QUICKSILVER from ‘X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST.’ So bad it rules.
This image is pure gold. Pure fucking golden stupidity. Like, I thought the fetish wear that Bryan Singer had everyone going around in was terrible, but Jesus Christ. Just look at this Beavis. It’s so bad that I want to clap in appreciation.
‘X-Men: Days of Future Past’ Teaser: Things Fall Apart
My brain tells me it is quite in my erratic nature to somehow enjoy this Instagram-fueled teaser for the movie that I’ve been actively disdaining. I know I don’t make sense, leave me alone.
‘ANT-MAN’ July 2015 release date moving up to old ‘BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN’ one
To…old…one? What the fuck am I trying to say? Well — I didn’t want to say “release date” twice, but then I got vague. Oh, whatever. We’re not here for that. We’re here to celebrate the Man of Steel franchise doing something good! You see, when Batman vs. Superman vs. Aquaman vacated its planned 2015 date, it allowed something magical to occur. Namely, it allowed Ant-Man to drop sooner!
‘AVENGERS CONFIDENTIAL: BLACK WIDOW & PUNISHER’ Trailer: They sure are animated!
They sure are animated? Jesus Christ, Caff. First that headline, now you’re talking in the third person. Anyhoo! I didn’t check out this trailer the first fifteen time it came across my RSS feed because I thought it was some children’s fair. I don’t know, Disney afternoon and shit. But then I saw a picture of Captain Marvel up in the game! Forced my goddamn hand, and now here I am. Moderately excited.
