Hey dickhead dorks. Yeah, you. The ones that gripe. You can scratch something off your list of Infinitely Long Things to Bitch about. The new Spider-Man flick by Marc Webb starring Andrew Garfield is bringing back web-shooters. Praise Allah! Right? The confirmation comes from Emma Stone dropping an interview with MTV. Hit the jump for the details.

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Way back in the day, before the Nolanverse Batman flicks, Darren Aronofsky was up for the project. His premise was fucking insane:

Among other things, Bruce flees after his parents are murdered, and goes to live above a car garage with Big Al, and his son Little Al. Big Al eventually dies, and Little Al becomes Bruce’s mentor and the “Alfred” figure. Bruce turns a Lincoln Continental into his Batmobile, but he doesn’t really set out to be a bat – he disguises himself first with a scar, then with a hockey mask and cape. He is hitting criminals with his father’s old signet ring, leaving the initials “TW” on their faces – but everybody thinks this looks like a bat-shape, and they start calling him the Batman. So he finally decides to go with it and dress like a bat. We meet Harvey Dent and Selina Kyle before they become Two-Face and Catwoman, and also glimpse the Joker. Despite these differences, some scenes and strands are lifted directly from Miller’s graphic novel.

Sounds Batshit (pun!) crazy, no? Well, now it may be coming to comic books. And then the movies.

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We are once again celebrating Monday Morning Commute! Sure, the work week will probably bring plenty of stress and disappointment. Maybe you’ll get fired. Maybe your boss will sexually harass you. Maybe he won’t. But no matter what setbacks you suffer, you’ll need to make time to enjoy life. Otherwise, what’s the fuggin’ point?

Check out what I’ll be doing this week. Then, if you’re daring, let me know what you’ll be up to. This is nerd-culture at its finest.

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[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

Reading an issue of Casanova reminds me of going to a sick house party. As much as you might mentally prepare yourself for celebratory bedlam, you don’t know just how fuggin’ insane it’ll be until you’re in the midst of it, far beyond the point of no return. Substances pummeling your brain, everything glows a little bit and you’re left asking some wonderful questions:

– Why does the girl with the Dream Theater shirt keep singing Raspberry Beret on karaoke?
– Did that dude just pound a beer and smoke a cigarette at the same time?
– Who brought their grandpa? And why does he look so familiar?

Whether or not answers are ever delivered is immaterial. The wonder is in going through such a mindfugg, an experience that excites sensory perceptions and puts a smile on your face.

Matt Fraction and Fabio Moon’s newest issue of Casanova left me with a backpack full of questions. I’m narratively shell-shocked. But the book also gave me more sci-fi pop than I’ve had in quite some time.

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Entertainment Weekly is dropping their 2011 Preview issue this week, and within is a new look at the God of Thunder. I can’t help it. I am beyond swooning for Chris Hemsworth in Thor garb. I have begun writing Hemmy (as I call him) letters detailing the reasons why we should hang out, and trying to reassure him that it’s way more comfortable to meet someone for the first time if you’re both not wearing pants.

Hit the jump for the full image.

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The internet doesn’t want me to play Black Ops today. As soon as I’m done posting about Garfield as Spider-Man, I come across a Comic Alliance article features a scan from Entertainment Weekly of Chris Evans as Captain America.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Updated @ 6:01 EST With High-Res Version.

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Sony has released the first picture of Andrew Garfield in the Spider-Man suit. My thoughts? I think he looks fucking awesome. Hit the jump to check it out, and hit me with your thoughts.

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Say what you will about his tenure as E-i-C, I dig Joe Quesada. The dude elevated the fucking game way back in the early 2000s. His run on Daredevil with Kevin Smith, his creation of Marvel Knights, his hand in the Ultimate line. He helped draw in huge names, ramped up a rivalry with DC which benefited both stables, and more. He’s been up and down since then, but the dude behind a renaissance (in my opinion) of the Marvel line deserves some credit.

In a new interview with Comic Book Resources, the new Chief Creative Officer of Marvel dropped some interesting thoughts. He spouted off about bringing Marvel creators more prominently into the movie and television projects.

Hit the jump for the deets.

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Until today, I had completely forgotten that there was a Wolverine anime in the works. This is nigh heretical, since it was written by my lord and saviour, Warren Ellis. The show debuted in Japan last week, and the first episode was centered around when  the “New York-based Wolverine discovers that his missing girlfriend Mariko is being held hostage in Tokyo by her father, who happens to be a nasty old crime lord!”

Outstanding.

What’s even better than that? The fucking opening intro. It has everything a geek like me needs. First: it has Wolverine. Already awesome. Then it has a chick in latex. Double awesome. Finally: it has ridiculously sick power metal riffage and noodling tying the entire intro together.  If you don’t feel your glands swell from this, there’s a pretty good chance I hate you.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Marvel Studios has dropped the international poster for the upcoming Thor. Whatever becomes of this movie, the idea of strapping Chris Hemsworth into some armor is nothing short of genius. I know this, because every time my girlfriend sees something from the movie, there are audible squeals of excitement from her.

And me.

Hit the jump for the poster.

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